My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1134 - 994: Favorite Time

Old Master Zhang feels that now he should tell everything to his children, whatever it takes. He cannot let his children live as freely as before. He should shoulder the responsibilities that belong to him. Everyone living in this world has their own matters to attend to, so why cling to past incidents repeatedly? If that is truly the case, then what is the meaning of existing in this world? No one has ever thought about what all this is ultimately for?

Maybe everything he did in the past was wrong, but he always wanted his life to be happy and joyful. If he repeatedly forsakes the things he least wanted to give up for those reasons, then, no matter what, there is no way to understand or accept it in this lifetime.

"Child, you are no longer young. You should have your own sense of responsibility and duty. It didn’t matter that you abandoned everyone in the family and left home; I chose to forgive you. I gave you all my care; I just believed that your existence in this world is a kind of happiness and fulfillment for me. I don’t care about the hurt you gave me before. All I want is for my child to safely stay by my side. Gradually, I realized that all of this was just my wishful thinking. You never considered staying by my side to accompany me for a lifetime. Perhaps staying by my side was a kind of suffering for you, a feeling that made you feel unbearable, oppressed, but you never openly talked to me about the life you want."

"Maybe you’ll still tell me, like before, that now is the age you should love someone. But do you know? The age to love someone has passed; the most loved period is gone forever. Why cling painfully to the past trifles?"

"Dad must tell you, had I known earlier that love would hurt like this now, I would not have pursued so diligently back then. Such seriousness only brought harm to myself. How many people live this life without complaint or regret? They never truly got what they wanted, just passing their time repeatedly. The earnestness back then gave me a painful life. If I had understood early that dreams can’t last and longing is not as good as turning back, I wouldn’t be going to the hospital for those breakups now. If, at the beginning, I had seen all this as mere play, I wouldn’t be suffering like I am now."

I know you all cannot believe it when you talk about it again and again. Can I still have the same experiences as before when some incidents make my heart flutter? You all think the time when a person’s heart flutters is long gone, and it’s impossible to fall in love at first sight like before because of an incident. But do you know? Back then, I decided on my life path with just one glance at my wife. Because of that one look, I decided my life would revolve around her affairs as my purpose, with her at my center. I wanted to accompany her all the time, to adjust according to her pace. Yet in the end, I discovered even after giving everything, he is no longer the man I should possess most. He no longer walks the same path as me."

Zhang Yichen never thought his father would one day speak such determined and heartless words. If his mother heard them, she might truly be sad, but to err is human. If one repeatedly clings to life without taking a step forward, no one will know what kind of conclusion this life will face. When one makes all the mistakes over and over again, they receive the most painful life in return. Perhaps one truly should let go of everything, let their past misguided lifestyle drift away, and rush to change everything on one’s life path. If one had changed all the thoughts back then, not being as willful and reckless as before, would the conclusion be entirely different? Having pondered countless times before about what kind of life path one should take, I only wished for simplicity. Living as one desires would be the happiest thing in one’s life. But finally, I found that everything I did was wrong, utterly wrong, with no possibility of return.

"Now, it doesn’t matter how you live, nor how you treat me. I am indifferent. As long as you can live the life you most want, without quarrel because of anyone!"

Maybe to you, the life you desire is just the plainest one. But you should also know, for an ordinary family, wanting a plain life originally seems easy, but when a disagreement arises in the family, although a simple life will become difficult, each day feels like walking on thin ice. One misstep leads to another until everything is lost. You also don’t want your future life to pass in such a path, so to achieve your goals, you pay any price, even utilizing all means to stay away from this place, away from this world, ensuring that no one in the family worries because of your departure, nor feels disappointed by your deeds, then that’s truly a meaningful thing."

I don’t know whether you ever truly considered the responsibilities you should bear, nor do I know if you genuinely thought about whether your actions brought harm and injury to your descendants. Maybe you never thought about it, but I still don’t blame you. Each person chooses a different path, the life route they ought to follow is different too. I can’t confine you with my thinking.

You have your own road to travel; if because of my selfishness, I choose to let you get hurt, that’s not my original intention nor my true intent. I can’t live selfishly like that. I further can’t bring harm and sadness to my descendants. I only hope my son and daughter-in-law can live happily. I don’t care what you did before, nor the blow you gave me. I have received what I want. I won’t be greedy as before, longing for more beyond my reach. Because of bitter longing, what one gets in return may be a battered, bruised outcome!"