My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1111 - 962 Let Me Suffocate

Xia Jing said she knew from the beginning that her husband loved her deeply, but she never imagined that his love for her could reach such an extent. Sometimes, when she thinks about everything she has done, deep down she is still touched. She once hurt him, but he is willing to give everything to love her, to abandon all for her sake. How can such devotion not be important to her, how can she not care?

Perhaps, Teacher Zeng asked too much of herself, leading everything to slowly deviate from her most beloved ending. She wonders, did she really know what she was doing? Abandoning everything, everything with her son, what she lost was never just a little bit. Yet why does she never know how to cherish, always waits until everything disappears, waits until the people she cares most about have all left, that she realizes this is her mistake, and what she wanted was merely a simple life.

Sometimes, when calming down to think about her life, recalling doing everything wrong, she thinks about the harm she brought to everyone in the family, her insistence, finds it hard to believe that all this is truly what she cared most about. She let everything become more and more absurd, it was herself that made everything now so extreme, which is why her path led everything slowly away from her true heart.

"Zhentian, I’m truly sorry for you, I never thought I would become like this one day. How I wish we could always remain in those happy times of the past. All I want is a peaceful life, but why did it end with this result? I’m so afraid, afraid of all of it becoming the heaviest pain. I can never forget, all of this is what you gave me. Your love for me was genuine and sincere, you gave me everything, but do you know, only when everything pressed down did I realize how much you gave for me. Yet I never felt it was for my own good, never cherished you, and only after losing you did I realize this was all my fault, I made you into the person you are now."

Sometimes, I truly don’t understand, why did I do so many things that hurt you, and yet you still refused to give up? All my little responsibilities from the past are exposed inside me, do you know? When everything became different, when everything repeatedly turned into my ugliest self, do you know how deeply painful my heart is? I never once contemplated what kind of life I truly wanted, so why in the end did it all become such pain?

Your love for me is genuine, you wanted to give me all your love, but you forgot that while giving me all your love, I chose to hurt you. From the moment I hurt you, we were no longer suitable to be husband and wife."

"I won’t allow you to speak like this, no matter what, I won’t let you go. I’ll keep everything always deep in my heart, at all times, everywhere, never changing. You may not understand my love for you, and I also can’t handle your genuine love for me. We both need to calm down, need time to consider what kind of life we really should live. I don’t want our paths to drift further apart, I don’t want you to leave my side.

If one day someone in the family must leave, I’d rather it be me. I once abandoned my family, I don’t mind doing it again. I’ve always been selfish, always sacrificing everything for myself. You can test me on this, for myself I won’t hesitate at anything. But don’t ever think I’m doing it for you. I just want you to have a place in this family, for everyone in the family to genuinely treat and accept you. To me, that’s enough."

"The two of you speaking these words now, where does that leave me as a father? When have you ever cared that a father also needs his children’s company? Why do you treat me this way? Even if you have these thoughts, can’t you refrain from saying them in front of me? Leave me a little dignity, even just a little, and I will be grateful. Why do you treat me like this, using such a method, again and again, placing all the pain on me, making me bear all this suffering?

You are truly heartless. Why do you treat me this way? Treat me a little better, even if only with a small sense of gratitude, and you wouldn’t act like this. Perhaps in your eyes, I’m not fit to be your father, it was you who abandoned me, not me forcing you away. Why do you still not understand all this now? When and where can we make everything the way we imagine? Why repay me in this way?

Even if I have nothing, even if I have no place in his family, I wouldn’t want you to treat me like this, do you understand? I am the head of the family, when you left this home, you severed the relationship with your family. You chose to come back, wanting us to accept you again. After accepting you, why do you choose to hurt us again? Are we really that insignificant, are our lives, in your eyes, so vulnerable, so easily thrown into ecstasy for your return, and into grief for your departure, with every change affecting each nerve of ours? Do you really find this amusing or is it something else?

Today, all the words you two have spoken, I remember them in my heart. Whenever, wherever, you are no longer my son, you do not deserve to be my son. I have no son like you. Everything you do is something a family wouldn’t do. You will never understand the pain and sorrow of a father."

Old Master Zhang didn’t want to waste more words with his children here. He quickly left that position; he didn’t want to stay in the living room any longer, as every minute and second felt suffocating!