My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1066 - 919: The Wound That Won’t Be Forgotten

"Dad, even if I choose to remember yesterday, seize today, and dream of tomorrow, what results do I ultimately achieve for myself? I’ve witnessed life and death in this world; I’ve seen through many people, again and again. Because of this decision, I’ve given everything, but in the end, it all amounts to nothing.

Can’t you see that it’s actually a deep pain in my heart? When you entrust your most trusted things to others time and again, when you offer all your trust repeatedly, and in return, all you receive is harm from others, can your heart still be happy and joyful as it is now? When you repeatedly find yourself in dire situations, with no one extending a hand to help you, when you face betrayal time and again without any means to retaliate, do you understand that pain and suffering?

Rather than saying you gave me too much, it’s more accurate to say I’ve endured a lot of pain and sadness myself. The path I took over the years, reaching this point, wasn’t easy. I achieved things through my own determination, and through my own efforts, transformed into who I am today; I’ve never regretted my actions.

Sometimes, I am grateful that fate gave me the chance to effortlessly choose my destiny. When I step into the life I’ve always wanted time and again, I realize this is what I truly desire. However, when I look back, I find everything has changed beyond recognition, and I have no means to stop the change. I can only watch as everything transforms before me, unable to make it something I can control.

Being able to kneel here and beg for your forgiveness today, means I know my actions were truly wrong. I will no longer bring pain to those around me like before, nor will I live my life in utter misery. Yet when I do what I most enjoy, who knows the helplessness and pain deep in my heart?

I have witnessed the sorrows and partings of this world repeatedly, and now, those scenes of separation and farewell replay before my eyes once more. Do you understand that feeling? It’s a feeling of failure, an overwhelming sense of loss. I watch others beg for their lives, when they could destroy the last hope with a hardened heart, such feelings can never be forgotten in a lifetime."

"Zhentian, why don’t you understand yet? Some things aren’t certain or singular. Why not let go of what you shouldn’t possess, and follow the path you wish for the happiest life? Why live in pain and heartache, giving everything to others? What do they see you as? They might not appreciate your sacrifices; in their eyes, everything you do seems obligatory.

As a father, I believe I’ve fulfilled my responsibilities. Yet on your birthday, when you grew up and chose to leave, it wasn’t just me who you defied. You never cared for others’ feelings, did you? Ever think that the harm you cause others might be reciprocated upon you, reflecting the pain they felt?

Scars remain unforgettable. Why should anyone easily forgive the pain you caused them? They owe you nothing; even if you give them everything, it becomes nothing but fleeting clouds in their eyes. Only a fool would eternally bury the love someone gave them within, recalling the kindness endlessly. But is that true love? People might just be using you, and once you’re of no use, they’ll discard you like trash!"

"You know these words are meant for my good, but with things as they are today, let’s not blame anyone. Isn’t it better to think about the path one’s life should take? Why complicate your life, stepping onto roads others avoid? I hope everyone can be happy and joyful, making everything like this. Who truly cares about the most painful thoughts hidden within me?

I no longer have patience or time to consider everything. When it all becomes the worst I didn’t want to see, I realized that everything had already changed beyond recognition. No one should hold onto the past so tightly. Why make yourself suffer when others don’t care? Hearts are soft, but once hurt, the outcome is inevitable. Is it worthy to replace care with others’ cold-hearted treatment, enduring betrayal again? Do you wish for a life like that?

I don’t want to walk this path in life. I hope to be happy and joyful. I want everyone to smile, not dwell in betrayal and abandonment. I don’t wish for people to repeatedly sell out aspects of themselves and others. Selling out hurts more than anything, leaving scars deeper than anything — a pain etched in every heart, an eternal wound!"