Mother of Midnight

Chapter 224 – Blood on my Lips

Impossible. Completely, utterly impossible.

Rava had died in her arms. She had felt the life leave her body, watched as she exploded into nothingness, her very essence consumed. There had been nothing left—no body to bury, no trace to mourn. Just absence.

Yet here she was.

Straddling Caelum, claws bared, teeth flashing in the dim light, staring at Vivienne like a stranger.

The changes were undeniable. Her fur, once a deep grey, was now black as the void, streaked with veins of teal that crackled like frozen lightning. Her mane was even wilder than before, a tangle of untamed energy, standing on end as if caught in a storm.

And her eyes—gone was the gold, the warmth, the fire. Instead, they burned cerulean, charged with a power that wasn’t there before, thrumming with something unfamiliar.

Her body had changed as well. She was broader, her shoulders thick with muscle, her jaw sharper, her presence more imposing than ever. The rippling strength in her biceps, the way her entire form radiated raw power—it was as if she had been reforged into something new, something stronger.

Something that shouldn’t exist.

Vivienne’s breath hitched, a sharp, painful thing.

Tears welled in her black eyes, spilling over in inky rivulets down her cheeks.

"Rava…?"

Rava didn’t move. She remained crouched over Caelum, her claws dug into the dirt, her heavy breaths uneven and raw. Vivienne could feel her eyes on her, piercing and sharp, not with recognition but with something else—something cold, something assessing, like a predator trying to decide whether to strike.

She wasn’t answering.

Vivienne swallowed against the tightness in her throat, her chest rising too fast, her tail curling in close behind her. She took a slow, shaking breath and tried again.

“Sweetheart,” she whispered, her voice barely holding together. “Is it really you?”

The words struck deep. Vivienne saw it in the way Rava flinched.

For a long, terrible moment, she didn’t speak. Her claws twitched, digging furrows into the dirt, and when she blinked, it was slow, uncertain—like she was struggling to piece together a puzzle with missing parts.

"I…" Rava’s voice was rough, hoarse, like it had been buried beneath dust and stone for far too long. Her ears flicked back, her breath shuddering. She glanced down at Caelum beneath her, then back to Vivienne, and something twisted in her expression—uncertainty, confusion, something deeper that Vivienne couldn’t name.

Vivienne took a step forward, ignoring the way her limbs shook. “You died, Rava. I saw it happen.” The words clawed their way out of her throat, raw and uneven. “You were gone. I—” Her breath hitched, sharp and jagged. “I haven’t even been able to grieve you yet.”

Caelum shoved Rava off him, rolling away the moment he was free. Vivienne barely noticed. The world had shrunk, the edges fraying, the air too thick to breathe.

Rava lay where she had fallen, unmoving. Her chest rose and fell too fast, her ears twitching, her mouth slightly open like she wanted to speak but couldn’t force the words out. Her eyes—gods, those eyes—locked onto Vivienne, wide and stunned.

Vivienne took a step forward, her legs trembling beneath her.

"You can't be here," she whispered, her voice breaking. "You can't be."

Rava didn’t answer. She only stared, her mouth hanging open, her claws twitching in the snow.

Vivienne felt like she was floating, untethered, weightless and suffocating all at once.

“I’m insane, aren’t I?” she breathed, the words barely making it past her lips. The tears wouldn’t stop, black streaks burning down her cheeks. "I lost my mind. Is any of this real?"

The silence stretched, thick and suffocating. Rava still said nothing.

Vivienne swallowed hard, her fingers curling against her palms.

“Please, say something. Tell me I haven’t lost my mind. Tell me it’s really you. Tell me you love me. Anything!” Vivienne’s voice broke, rising to a near shout, her words echoing off the jagged cliffs around them. Her chest was tight, her breath coming in short, frantic bursts.

For a long, painful moment, Rava remained silent, her gaze still fixed on Vivienne but distant, almost as though she were somewhere far away in her own mind. Then, finally, her voice broke through the thick tension, quiet but sharp.

"Who are you?"

Vivienne's heart lurched, the air around her felt like it had turned to stone. Her breath hitched as she stumbled backward, her knees weakening. The weight of the question hung between them like a cloud that was too heavy to ignore.

“I am insane!” Vivienne laughed, but it was a manic, fractured sound, the kind that came from a place of pure desperation. The laughter bubbled out of her without control, sharp and jagged as she wrapped her arms around herself, trying to hold onto something—anything—that made sense. “I’ve lost it, haven’t I?”

Her voice cracked as she said the words, and a bitter tear slid down her cheek, joining the others that had stained her face. Her stomach twisted with the realization that she might be standing in front of a stranger, or worse, a version of Rava that wasn’t hers anymore.

Her hands trembled, and the ground beneath her seemed to shift, the world tilting sideways as her emotions ran rampant. Desperation clawed at her throat, choking her, and for a moment, she couldn’t tell whether she was laughing or crying.

“Tell me, please,” she begged again, her voice barely more than a whisper. “Tell me you remember me.”

Rava rose to her feet with unsettling calm, her body relaxed, yet every movement seemed calculated, controlled. She took a step forward, her cerulean eyes never leaving Vivienne’s face, a puzzled frown tugging at her features.

“Familiar,” she murmured, as if trying to piece together a fragment of a forgotten dream. Her gaze shifted to the ground for a moment, as though searching for the words to make sense of what she was feeling.

Vivienne stiffened, the question hitting her like a sudden gust of wind. She tilted her head, brows furrowing in confusion. "What?"

Rava blinked, her eyes flicking back up to Vivienne, studying her like a puzzle she couldn’t quite solve. "You look familiar," she repeated, her voice quieter this time. "Why do you look familiar?"

Vivienne’s breath caught in her chest. Her heart thundered as she stared at Rava, trying to understand the meaning behind her words. The way Rava said it—so calmly, as if it wasn’t a revelation but a mere observation—left Vivienne feeling exposed, like there was something unsaid hanging in the air between them.

"Rava," Vivienne whispered, taking a small step forward, her voice trembling with emotion. "I… I don't know how to explain. But you—you’ve been gone. I thought you were… I thought I lost you." She could feel the sting of tears rising again, threatening to overwhelm her.

Rava blinked again, her expression still unreadable. Her hand moved subconsciously to her chest, as if she could feel some deep, unresolved connection tugging at her, but she couldn’t quite grasp it.

"Why do you look familiar?" Rava asked again, more insistently this time, her tone growing softer, as if the question itself carried the weight of something unspoken—something that neither of them had fully acknowledged.

Vivienne took another step, closer now, her heart aching with the desperate need for Rava to remember, for something to click. "I don’t know, Sweetheart. I just don’t know," she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. "But we’ve been through so much together… You’re my family, my love—don’t you remember?"

Rava's eyes fluttered, a deep, unsettling silence hanging between them as she tried to make sense of it all. Something inside her seemed to shift, but the recognition—the understanding—was still out of reach.

"Familiar," she muttered again, but there was no certainty in her voice now. Only a growing confusion, as if she was staring at a stranger who shared her past but was somehow alien to her.

Vivienne's breath caught, her throat tightening with a painful mixture of hope and despair. Every inch closer she moved, the gulf between them seemed to widen, the space between who they were and who they had been stretching too far to close.

"Sweetheart, please," Vivienne pleaded, her voice cracking. "It’s me. It’s Vivienne. Don’t you remember? We’ve—" She stopped herself, unable to finish the sentence, as though the words alone might shatter something fragile inside her. She swallowed hard, trying to steady her racing pulse. "We were together. We fought together, laughed together. I—"

Rava’s gaze shifted, distant, as if searching for some thread that could connect her past and present. Her brow furrowed, a deep crease forming between her eyes, but there was no spark of recognition in her cerulean gaze—nothing that told Vivienne she was truly seen.

For a long moment, it seemed as if Rava would speak again, but she remained silent, her mouth opening slightly, then closing again as if the words were too foreign to form.

Vivienne’s chest ached with every beat of her heart. She couldn’t remember a time when Rava hadn’t been there, when the sight of her hadn’t brought a sense of relief, of peace. But now? Now, Rava stood before her, a stranger in the most intimate way.

"You… you don’t remember," Vivienne whispered more to herself than to Rava. "You don’t remember any of it. I’ve lost you again."

The weight of her words crashed down on her, heavy and unrelenting. She stepped back, suddenly feeling small, like a piece of herself had been torn away and was lost somewhere in the space between them.

Rava watched her, a flicker of something passing through her expression—something that could have been empathy, or perhaps it was pity. It was gone as quickly as it came, leaving only that strange, unreadable look in her eyes.

"I… don’t remember," Rava said at last, her voice barely a whisper, as if saying it out loud made it more real, more concrete.

Vivienne could feel her heart crumbling, the edges of her thoughts starting to blur. She had imagined this moment so many times—what it would be like to see Rava again, to hold her again. But never had she imagined it like this. Never had she imagined a version of Rava who didn’t remember, didn’t feel her.

A cold, jagged emptiness began to settle in her chest, and she fought to hold back the tears that continued to spill over. Rava stood there, but she might as well have been a shadow. A stranger. An echo of something that once was.

Rava stepped closer, her presence overwhelming, and stopped just short of Vivienne, towering over her. For a moment, they were silent, the air between them thick with the weight of unspoken words, both of them caught in a space that felt both intimate and impossibly far apart.

“Will you help me remember?” Rava’s voice was low, a mixture of hope and uncertainty lacing her words, like she was reaching for something just beyond her grasp. Her cerulean eyes locked onto Vivienne’s, wide with that strange, almost vulnerable look that only made the ache in Vivienne’s chest deepen.

Vivienne sniffed, wiping away the remnants of her tears, and gave Rava a soft smile, though it was tinged with sadness. “Get down here, I don’t want to strain my neck looking at you.” The words were gentle, teasing, but they carried the warmth of familiarity, of something unspoken yet understood between them.

Rava hesitated for only a moment before she complied. She lowered herself to one knee, the movement fluid and graceful despite her size, her electric blue eyes never leaving Vivienne’s. It felt as though the world had paused in that moment, as if time itself had taken a breath, waiting for what came next.

Vivienne took a small, shaky step forward and cupped one of her claws gently against Rava’s cheek. The touch was light but firm, the heat of Rava’s skin a grounding presence beneath her fingertips. She felt Rava lean into it almost instinctively, her eyes fluttering shut as though the simple act of contact brought a fleeting sense of comfort, a sense of something real.

“I missed you, so much more than you could know.” Vivienne’s voice was barely more than a whisper, but it carried the weight of a thousand unspoken emotions. Her heart pounded in her chest, each word laced with the years of pain, longing, and love she’d carried in silence.

Slowly, Rava’s large hand rose, her fingers brushing against Vivienne’s claw gently, as if testing the waters. When her fingers made contact, she held it there for a moment, pressing just a bit more firmly. “I don’t know if I can remember everything,” she murmured, her voice quieter now, almost afraid. “But… I know I’ve missed something. I just don’t know what.”

Vivienne’s smile softened, her own hand coming to rest on Rava’s as she squeezed it lightly. “I’ll be here,” she said, her voice a quiet promise. “I’ll help you remember, piece by piece. We’ll take it slow, Sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere.”

Rava’s gaze shifted, the blue of her eyes swirling with a mix of gratitude and something deeper, something that suggested she was starting to understand, even if just a little. Her face softened, and the edges of her lips twitched upwards, the hint of a smile beginning to form.

“I’ll… let you,” she replied, her words tentative but sincere. “I’ll try.”

Vivienne nodded, her heart swelling with the faintest glimmer of hope. She knew this wouldn't be easy—knew that there was so much still to work through, so much that had been lost, so much hanging in the balance. There were scars, memories fading like dust in the wind, but for the first time in what felt like forever, she didn’t feel entirely alone in the effort. She could see Rava—really see her, the woman who had been a part of her life for the entirety of the time in Nymoria, and who, in this moment, seemed so close and yet so distant all at once.

Her pulse quickened, and she suddenly found herself leaning in closer, drawn to the woman in front of her like a magnet. She was too lost in the swirl of emotions to stop herself, too caught up in the weight of it all—the love, the loss, the longing.

“May I kiss you?” The question tumbled out before Vivienne could stop it. It was vulnerable, raw, a whisper on the edge of desperation.

Rava’s eyes locked with hers, the intensity of her cerulean gaze making Vivienne’s breath hitch in her throat. She could see the shift in Rava’s expression, that subtle tightening in her features as though she was processing the request, weighing it, unsure but intrigued.

The silence between them stretched, thick and heavy, as Rava studied her, almost as if she were seeing Vivienne for the first time in a new light, trying to untangle the knot of emotions swirling inside her.

And then, as though a decision had been made in the quiet of their shared space, Rava's lips parted, her voice soft yet steady. "Yes."

Vivienne’s heart skipped a beat, the air between them charged with something electric, something undeniable.

Before she could second-guess herself, Rava moved. The massive, muscular arms that had once seemed intimidating now felt like a lifeline. They wrapped around Vivienne's waist with ease, pulling her into the embrace as if she weighed nothing at all. Strong, unyielding, yet gentle in a way that made Vivienne feel both protected and cherished.

A giggle escaped Vivienne before she could contain it, a light, airy sound that felt out of place in the gravity of the moment. It was nervous, unexpected, but it was also a release, a moment of levity amidst the tension that had clouded them both for so long.

Rava’s lips curled slightly at the sound, and the muscles in her arms seemed to soften, her hold adjusting to give Vivienne more room, as if she were savoring the intimacy of it all. There was something tender in the way Rava handled her, like she was slowly piecing herself back together, just as Vivienne was.

And then, without warning, Rava’s face was close enough that Vivienne could feel the heat radiating off her skin. Her breath, warm and steady, brushed against Vivienne’s lips before she closed the distance. The kiss was soft, tentative at first, a delicate meeting of lips, a question and an answer in the same breath. It wasn’t forceful, nor was it rushed—it was a slow, careful exploration, a promise that was years in the making.

Vivienne’s heart pounded against her chest, her hands instinctively reaching up to touch Rava’s strong shoulders, feeling the taut muscles under her fingertips as if to ground herself in this reality. She could feel the faint tremor in Rava’s breath as she kissed her back, a sense of hesitation, but also a hunger, a yearning that mirrored her own.

Vivienne’s heart raced, each beat echoing like a drum in her ears. Her fingers curled into Rava’s shoulders, feeling the strength of her form beneath the soft press of her skin. She couldn’t stop herself from pulling Rava closer, her body pressed against the massive lekine’s with an urgency that made her pulse quicken even more.

Rava’s hands tightened around Vivienne’s waist, and in that moment, everything else faded away. The world around them ceased to exist, all that mattered was the heat between them, the chemistry that surged like wildfire, consuming every rational thought. Rava’s lips were insistent, and Vivienne’s own lips responded with equal fervor. She kissed her with a hunger that was too long suppressed, pouring all the longing, the frustration, the desire into every press of their mouths.

The taste of Rava was intoxicating—warm, familiar, but somehow new. Her breath came in heated pants, each touch of their lips, each shared breath, igniting something deep inside Vivienne. She let out a low moan, her hands moving of their own accord, tracing the contours of Rava’s jaw, her neck, memorizing the feel of her.

Rava growled low in her throat, a sound so primal, so full of desire, it sent a rush of heat through Vivienne’s body. Her hands roamed down Vivienne’s back, pulling her closer, if that was even possible, until there was no space left between them. The kiss grew fiercer, more desperate, as if they were both trying to make up for lost time, for everything that had slipped through their fingers.

Vivienne’s breath hitched when Rava’s tongue flicked against her lips, asking for entrance, and she immediately parted her mouth, welcoming the invasion with an eager, open response. Their tongues tangled, fought, and explored each other with growing intensity, a dance as old as time itself. Vivienne’s body arched toward Rava, seeking more—more of her warmth, more of the feeling that only she could bring.

Rava’s hands slid down to Vivienne’s hips, gripping her firmly as if she were afraid Vivienne might slip away, even though she could never imagine letting go. Rava’s touch was raw, possessive, the strength of her hands sending shivers through Vivienne’s body, but there was a tenderness in the way she cradled her, a tenderness that melted the edges of Vivienne’s heart.

Vivienne pulled back for a moment, breathless, her chest heaving as she looked up into Rava’s intense cerulean gaze, her eyes full of the same burning hunger. “Rava…” she whispered, voice barely audible, her lips still tingling from the kiss.

Rava’s lips curved into a smirk, dark and knowing, and she responded with a growl that vibrated through Vivienne’s chest. The intensity of the kiss deepened, drawing Vivienne closer, making her heart race. It was a feeling of longing, of something more, and in that moment, nothing else mattered—just the two of them, lost in the sensation.

But then, something unfamiliar pressed against Vivienne’s thigh, a subtle pressure that made her pause. She pulled away slightly, her breath coming in quick, shallow gasps. Her eyes were still half-lidded, a lazy smile curling at her lips. “Your weapon is poking me,” she said, her voice a little breathless but teasing.

Rava blinked, confusion flickering in her cerulean eyes. “Weapon?”

Vivienne looked down, the soft fabric of Rava’s pants catching her attention. Her gaze lingered for a moment, noticing the shape that was pressing against her. There was a bulge there, something that wasn’t there before. She blinked again, her mind trying to catch up.

“...That’s new.”