novelraw Chapter 119 – Nowhere Else
Chapter 119 – Nowhere Else
Vivienne had been acting strange since she got back. Well, stranger. She was far from the most normal person Elira had ever met, after all.
Her moods over the past day had been unpredictable, shifting between tense, possessive aggression and a near unsettling calm. It put Elira on edge, but she kept her unease well hidden. If something went wrong, if Vivienne turned on her or Ivor, she was confident she could handle it. But that would create more problems than it solved. Best to avoid that scenario entirely.
Healing wasn’t her area of expertise—she was far more adept at field exomancy and conjuration—but she’d done what she could for the frankly absurdly large lekine. The girl would need a few days of rest, nothing more. That was a relief. What still baffled her, though, was how she and Tarric were related. He barely came up to Rava’s chest.
Shaking off the thought, Elira wandered to the edge of camp, where the firelight barely reached, and pressed aether into her amulet. A quiet pulse of energy rippled through the enchantments woven into it, confirming they were still intact. Good. They were serving her well so far. It had been a wise investment.
When she was done checking her enchantments, Elira made her way back to the fire where Kivvy and Ivor were seated. The flames cast long, flickering shadows across the camp, offering at least some relief from the cold. She hated the cold. The south was cold too, but at least it wasn’t this kind of biting, creeping chill that seeped into her bones.
Ivor was stirring a pot over the fire, the scent of simmering broth filling the air. At least he was making something hot. That was a small mercy.
She almost flinched when Vivienne sauntered over, a satchel swinging lazily from her clawed hand. The woman moved with that same strange, self-assured ease she always had, like she had all the time in the world and none at all.
"Spices and some herbs. Use them," Vivienne said, holding the bag out to Ivor without preamble.
Elira watched as he took it, his weathered face unreadable at first—until she caught the subtle tightening around his mouth, the flicker of distaste in his eyes. He didn’t like surprises, especially not when it came to food. Ivor was a man of subtler flavors, controlled measures. Whatever was in that bag had clearly thrown off his carefully planned stew. But, ever the professional, he said nothing and set about incorporating the offered ingredients.
Elira let the interaction wash over her, observing but not commenting. She still wasn’t sure what to make of Vivienne. The woman was chaos given form, a force of nature that operated on an entirely different logic than the rest of them. And yet, despite that—or perhaps because of it—everyone here followed her lead.
When the food was done, Vivienne didn’t take a single bite for herself. Instead, she took a bowl and strode away, vanishing into the darkness where Rava rested. Elira assumed she was feeding her. That was another thing—her possessiveness over the lekine. That snarl she’d let loose when Elira had first tried to help was still fresh in her mind.
Elira pulled her cloak tighter around herself and exhaled, watching her breath curl in the cold air. She didn’t understand why any of them traveled with Vivienne. She was unpredictable, terrifying, a true monster.
And yet, here they all were.
“I don’t like her.”
Ivor didn’t look up from where he was cleaning his blade, running a whetstone along its edge in slow, practiced motions. “Vivienne?”
“Who else?” Elira muttered, her voice low. They were sitting alone, the firelight casting shifting shadows against the trees. “I’m fairly certain I could take her if it came to it, but she is just so... capricious.”
Ivor finally glanced up, his expression grim. “I feel the same. The woman sets off my danger sense every time she gets close. It’s like standing next to a storm you know is going to break, but you don’t know when.”
Elira scoffed softly. “I’m glad it’s not just me, then. She’s been even worse since the beacon—more… unstable.” She leaned back slightly, her fingers drumming against her knee. “Like whatever’s been keeping her in check is slipping.”
Ivor sighed through his nose and set the whetstone aside. “We have to stick it out. Rava clearly has some idea of where to find Tarric.”
Elira huffed. “I know. Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
Ivor nodded, his eyes flicking toward the darkness where Vivienne had disappeared. “Neither of us do.”
“I just want this mess to be over. Tarric will help with that, at least.”
“Indeed.” Ivor stretched before standing, rolling his shoulders as if shaking off the weight of their conversation. “I’m going to sleep. I’ll take second watch.”
Elira waved him off without looking up. “Sure, sure.”
She watched him disappear into the camp, then exhaled, rubbing her hands together for warmth. They only had to deal with Vivienne for a little while longer. She could handle that. She’d faced scarier things—things that didn’t just look like monsters but acted like them, too.
Everything would be fine once they found Tarric.
At least, that’s what she told herself.
The watch they took wasn’t for aetherbeasts or wandering predators. It was for Vivienne.
Elira trusted the creature to tear apart anything else that came too close—she seemed to delight in devouring them, as revolting as that was—but that didn’t mean she could relax. If anything, it set her more on edge. Even the wards Rava had put in place, as powerful as they were, didn’t seem like they would be enough. They were designed to keep things out, not keep something like Vivienne in.
Her fingers brushed over her amulet, feeling the faint hum of aether beneath the surface. Perhaps she could offer to set up the ward herself. At least then she’d know exactly what defenses were in place.
Elira sat in silence, the fire crackling low as the night stretched on. The others were asleep, their breathing steady, the occasional shift of fabric or quiet murmur breaking the stillness. The cold gnawed at her fingers, but she didn’t dare move too much, didn’t dare draw attention to herself. Not with her still awake.
Vivienne hadn’t gone to sleep.
Elira didn’t know if she ever did.
She had been sitting away from the fire, a shadow against the snow, her five black eyes glinting when they caught the light. She hadn’t moved in a while, hadn’t spoken since she’d disappeared into the dark after feeding Rava.
Then, slowly, she stood.
Elira’s muscles tensed.
Vivienne moved with a lazy sort of grace, sauntering toward her like they were old friends meeting by chance. But there was something wrong. Something off about the way she carried herself. She wasn’t looking at Elira with that cold, predatory amusement, nor with the distant, weary calculation she sometimes had.
No, this was different.
Vivienne smiled—a warm, knowing smile. The kind a father might give his daughter when humoring her.
“Ah, sweetheart,” she said, voice rich with nostalgia. “You’re still awake.”
Elira’s breath hitched. That wasn’t her voice. Or, rather, it was—but the way
she spoke, the inflection, the familiarity—it didn’t belong to Vivienne.Elira swallowed. “Could say the same for you.”
Vivienne chuckled, low and indulgent. She lowered herself onto a fallen log beside Elira, stretching her arms out over her knees in a way that looked almost natural. Almost like she belonged there, like they had done this a hundred times before.
Elira resisted the urge to inch away.
Vivienne sighed, gazing out at the sleeping camp. “It’s a father’s duty, you know, to watch over his daughter. Especially when she’s caught up in the throes of love.”
Elira went still.
What?
Vivienne turned her head, eyes crinkling with something like fond amusement. “He seems like a fine lad, if a bit reckless. A man with conviction. Is that what drew you to him?”
Elira’s blood ran cold.
This wasn’t Vivienne.
Not really.
She had seen people slip before, had seen them become something other when touched too closely by the things that lurked beyond the veil of understanding. But this—this was something else entirely.
Vivienne was mantling someone. Wearing them like a coat.
Elira forced herself to breathe evenly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Vivienne laughed, shaking her head. “Ah, come now. You don’t have to hide it. A father always knows.” She leaned forward, resting her elbow on her knee, chin in her palm, watching her with that same infuriating, knowing look. “And I can see it plain as day. The way you look at him, the way you worry—”
Elira shot to her feet. “I don’t—” She caught herself, inhaled sharply. She would not let Vivienne rattle her. She would not let this… thing in front of her dictate the flow of conversation.
Vivienne simply tilted her head. “Ah. Too soon?” She chuckled to herself. “I suppose a father should be patient.”
Elira clenched her fists. This isn’t real. This isn’t real. This isn’t real.
But it felt real. The cadence, the mannerisms, the certainty in Vivienne’s voice—it was like she was someone else entirely. Not mimicking, not imitating, but being.
She needed to end this.
“I have no idea what you’re going on about,” Elira said evenly, forcing her voice into something calm. “And I don’t have time for your games. If you’re not here to kill me, go back to your corner and leave me alone.”
The gaze in Vivienne’s eyes softened, something achingly familiar passing through them. Almost like a father looking at his daughter with quiet concern. “I would never hurt you,” she murmured, voice low and steady. “I’m just worried that you will be hurt when he goes off to war.”
Elira frowned, tension threading through her spine. “What war?”
Vivienne exhaled, a deep and weary thing. “A war of the gods,” she said, as if it were something inevitable, something as certain as the rising sun. She glanced away, watching the fire’s embers glow, her expression distant. “Who would have known.”
Elira’s pulse thudded in her ears. Something about the way she spoke sent a chill creeping down her back. Not just because of what she said, but how she said it. Like she wasn’t guessing. Like she already knew.
“I will support you regardless,” Vivienne continued, turning back to her with that same gentle, knowing smile. “I just wanted to get my concerns out on the table.”
Elira swallowed, unease crawling under her skin. “What war?” she asked again, quieter this time.
Vivienne met her gaze, head tilting ever so slightly.
And for a moment, the fire’s glow caught in her eyes, reflecting something deep, something endless—something wrong
.Vivienne blinked, something flickering behind those black eyes. For a moment—just a moment—she looked almost… confused. Then, like a snake shedding old skin, the warmth drained from her face, her body posture straightening into something unreadable.
She studied Elira for a long, agonizing breath.
Then, in her usual voice, smooth and laced with something sharp, she said, “Sleep well, darling.”
And with that, she rose to her feet and walked back into the dark, leaving Elira standing there, heart hammering in her chest.
Kivvy lay motionless in her furs, staring at the darkened ceiling of the tent, ears twitching at every sound. Sleep wouldn’t come. Not after that conversation. Even from the edge of camp, she had heard every word. Goblins had sharp ears. Sometimes, she wished she didn’t.
Vivienne had done it again. Changed. Shifted into someone else entirely.
Kivvy shuddered. Vivienne was terrifying enough on her own—towering, fanged, unpredictable. But lately? She’d been something worse. The way she guarded Rava, how she barely let anyone near her. The way her teasing had disappeared, leaving only a tense, brittle silence in its place. Kivvy hated what Vivienne considered ‘teasing’, but somehow, the absence of it unsettled her even more.
She curled in on herself, gripping the furs tighter.
Why was she even here? Why had she let herself get swept up in all this?
She could’ve stayed in Serkoth. Found some quiet job, kept her head down, lived a simple, unremarkable life. Working for some greedy bastard for just enough coin. It would have been easy.
But no. That wasn’t enough.
Kivvy wanted more.
She wanted revenge. She wanted to free her sisters. She wanted to build something with her own hands—not for some master, not for someone else’s profit. For herself.
And if that meant walking beside a monster?
Then so be it.
At least Elira and Ivor brought some semblance of normality to this mess. They weren’t shapeshifting monsters, silent, creaking dolls, or towering lekine twice her height. Just a couple of regular people. Well—mostly regular. She wasn’t entirely sure what their endgame was, but they were nice enough. Elira, at least, was fun to talk to, easygoing in a way Kivvy had missed. And even Ivor, gruff as he was, had his moments. Getting him to open up was about as easy as carving stone with her teeth, but when he did talk, he actually had things worth saying.
Still, none of that helped her sleep. She lay there, staring at the tent’s ceiling, the cold creeping in through the fabric, seeping into her bones.
She huffed and threw the furs off, grabbing her cloak and pulling it tight around her shoulders. If she wasn’t going to sleep, she might as well be warm.
The fire was little more than a bed of embers now, glowing dully in the pit. Elira sat nearby, wrapped in her own cloak, watching the flames with that unreadable little smile she always had.
Kivvy plopped herself down beside her, stretching her hands toward the warmth.
Elira glanced over. “Can’t sleep?”
Kivvy shook her head.
“Want me to cast a spell on you? Knock you out proper?” Elira smirked. “Might not wake up in time for morning, though.”
Kivvy snorted. “I’ll pass. Just gonna warm up for a bit.”
Elira leaned back on her hands, stretching her legs out toward the fire. “Suit yourself. If you pass out and start snoring, I’m throwing you in the woods, though. You goblins snore, right?”
Kivvy scoffed. “I do not snore.”
Elira raised a brow. “You sure? I’d put money on it.”
“Who the hell would bet on something like that?”
“I would. Seems like easy money.”
Kivvy rolled her eyes. “Betting’s no fun if you already think you’ll win.”
Elira grinned. “I don’t bet on something unless I know I’ll win.”
Kivvy groaned and pulled her cloak tighter around herself. “You’re the worst.”
“I do try,” Elira said breezily. “Keeps me entertained.”
Kivvy shook her head, but a smirk tugged at the corner of her lips. “I should’ve just stayed in the tent.”
“Nah, you’d just be laying there, freezing your tits off. This is better.”
“…Yeah, yeah,” Kivvy muttered, gaze settling on the fire. The embers popped softly, the warmth seeping into her skin.
A moment of quiet passed before she spoke again. “You ever actually put someone to sleep with magic?”
Elira’s smirk widened. “All the time.”
“For, like… sleep? Or for sleep?”
Elira barked out a laugh. “Kivvy, I think I like you.”
“Damn right you do.”
The human endomancer stared at Kivvy appraisingly, firelight catching in her sharp eyes. “If you don’t mind my asking, why are you traveling with them?”
Kivvy shrugged, pulling her cloak tighter around herself. “Don’t really know what else to do with myself.” She glanced up at Elira, her expression guarded. “Still figuring it out.”
Elira tilted her head slightly, watching her. “Do you mind if I ask how you ended up with them?”
Kivvy hesitated, her ears twitching before she curled up further into her cloak. That was not a pleasant memory. “I… I guess. Not much to say, anyway.” She let out a slow breath. “Human masters brought me to the Serkoth undercity to make things for them and do some maintenance. Vivienne came in and killed everyone. Everyone except those who escaped, a priest—who’s probably dead by now—and me.”
Elira’s expression didn’t change, but Kivvy could feel the shift in the air, that careful, assessing silence. “Why did she spare you?”
Kivvy’s lips pressed together for a moment before she answered. “I think I entertained her.” Her voice was light, almost flippant, but there was an edge to it, something bitter curling beneath the words.
Elira arched a brow. “Entertained her?”
Kivvy snorted softly, shaking her head. “Yeah. I think she liked watching me squirm.” She glanced at Elira. “Or maybe she was just curious to see what I’d do. Either way, I was the only one left breathing.”
Elira leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees, the firelight casting sharp shadows across her face. “She terrifies me. I saw her take on a tempest bull alone and drag it back to camp before eating it within minutes. A tempest bull.” Her voice dropped, as if saying it too loud might summon another. “Why was one of those all the way out here? In fact, why do so many aetherbeasts keep making their way to this group? I know they’re not uncommon, but this many, this frequently? Are the steppes usually this dangerous? I’ve only been here a few times.”
Kivvy shrugged, pulling her cloak tighter around herself. “Dunno. Spent most of my life in a god’s damned basement since I was separated from my ma at five.” She snorted. “I’m more sheltered than you.”
Elira winced, her brows knitting together. “Sorry.”
“Shut it.” Kivvy rolled her eyes. “Don’t wanna hear it, ‘specially from a human.” She let out a short sigh, shaking her head. “Guess that’s one thing I like about Vivienne. She treats me same as everyone else. Doesn’t seem to give a quocha’s ass about me being a goblin, just likes that I’m easy to scare.”
Elira watched her for a moment before saying, “I think you’re brave.”
Kivvy scoffed, sharp and immediate. “I’m a coward.”
“Bravery isn’t a lack of fear,” Elira said simply. “It’s acting despite it.”
Kivvy snorted. “I haven’t done squat. I’m just tagging along ‘cause I got nothing better to do.”
Elira studied her, the flickering light reflecting in her eyes. “Do you really believe that?”
Kivvy’s jaw tensed. She wanted to snap back, to brush it off with some sarcastic remark, but the words caught in her throat. Instead, she just huffed, turning her gaze back to the fire. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“We can talk about something else,” Elira offered, leaning back on her hands. “If you’d prefer. Like how Vivienne has been acting these past few days.”
Kivvy shivered, wrapping her arms around herself. “I heard what she was saying to you. Well… more like at you.”
A flicker of concern crossed Elira’s face before she masked it again, her expression smoothing over. “You heard that?”
Kivvy snorted. “I hear a lot more than most think. Goblins just get real good at pretending we don’t.”
Elira hummed thoughtfully, staring into the fire. “I do agree… I felt like I wasn’t even having a conversation. I don’t know what she was talking about. Has she always been that unstable?”
Kivvy shook her head. “Nah. Weird and a bit mean, sure, but not like… that.” Her ears twitched as she tried to put it into words. “When she picked me up and kissed me, it was… weird. So weird. I don’t even know what to call it other than weird.”
Elira smirked, her lips curling just enough to be teasing. “I did see you blushing there.”
Kivvy stiffened, her entire body tensing as heat rushed to her face. “S-shut up,” she stammered, ears flattening. She hugged her cloak tighter, glaring at the fire like it had personally offended her. “It just—” She hesitated, voice quieter now. “It just reminded me of ma. Haven’t seen her in… like fifteen years. No one’s been that kind to me since.”
Elira’s smirk faded, her expression softening. She tilted her head slightly, studying Kivvy. “You were born into it, weren’t you?”
Kivvy let out a humorless chuckle. “Yeah. Don’t know anything else. One day you’re just working like normal, next thing you know, some crazy black-eyed monster is tearing through your masters and carrying you off like some prize.” She tugged her cloak tighter around herself. “Didn’t even know what to think at first. Thought she was gonna eat me.”
Elira hummed. “And now?”
Kivvy scoffed. “Still not sure.” She shook her head. “She’s a monster, yeah, but she’s not the same as them. At least with her, you know where you stand. If she wants to kill you, she’ll just do it. No mind games. No making you think you have a chance when you don’t. Whatever you wanna say about her, at least she doesn’t play with her food. Mostly”
Elira exhaled through her nose. “That’s a grim silver lining.”
Kivvy shrugged. “Better than nothing.”
A pause stretched between them, filled only by the crackling of the fire. Then, after a moment, Kivvy glanced at Elira. “What about you? You don’t seem the type to follow a monster around either.”
Elira chuckled, shaking her head. “No, I suppose I don’t.” She rested her elbows on her knees, lacing her fingers together. “I had my own reasons for coming out here, but none of them involved running into Vivienne. That was… an unfortunate complication.”
Kivvy raised a brow. “And yet you’re still here.”
Elira sighed, rubbing her temple. “Yeah. And I’m still trying to figure out if that was a mistake.”
Kivvy snorted. “Do you really need us to find Tarric?”
Elira hesitated, then let out a breath. “I’d like to say no, but… I think we do. You’re my best lead.”
Kivvy scoffed. “Then I guess you’re stuck with us.”
Elira gave a lopsided grin. “Guess so.”
For the first time that night, the tension between them eased, just a little. Elira let out a quiet laugh, and Kivvy shook her head, smirking despite herself.
For all the insanity of this group, at least someone here was sane.