novelraw Chapter 111 – What Was Left In Selena
Chapter 111 – What Was Left In Selena
— Selena’s POV —
<“…Where am I?”>
My eyes opened slowly, heavy as if I’d been asleep for days. My vision adjusted to the dimness, revealing the barred wall in front of me.
I was inside a cage.
No—
A prison.
Memories trickled back, walking through the forest, the scent of wild berries in my hand, the breeze on my cheek, and then, nothing… until now.
I sat up, my limbs trembling. I wasn’t alone.
Around me were children and women, some elves, some humans, huddled together in silence, eyes empty, shoulders trembling. They looked more like discarded dolls than people. A sickening weight pressed against my chest.
That’s when I heard it.
“Where is Gina!?”
A child’s voice broke the silence.
She was no older than me, a girl with hollow eyes and a wooden tag dangling from her neck. A number was carved into it like livestock branding. 11634.
“Gina! Where’s Gina!?”
Footsteps echoed from the hallway, too calm, too clean. A man in a white coat stopped just outside the bars, staring in like we were animals in a lab.
“Gina?” he said, as if tasting the name. “Ah. You mean 11633? She was defective. She’s dead.”
“…No. No, she can’t be…”
The man smiled coldly.
“Don’t worry. You’ll be joining her soon. You’re next, 11634.”
*Crreeeaaaak*
The metal door groaned open like the mouth of a beast, swallowing light.
“No… No, I don’t want to! I don’t want to die!”
“Shut up.”
*SLAP!*
“Kyaaa!”
The sound cracked through the room like a whip. The girl's body hit the ground hard, and before she could move again—
*ZZZRRRRAKKK—!*
The collar around her neck lit up with a cruel hiss, sending volts of punishment directly into her spine. She convulsed on the ground, twitching violently, her screams echoing against the concrete.
“AAAAARRRGHHHHH!!”
No one moved.
No one spoke.
We all just watched… and waited for our turn.
He didn’t even glance at the girl still twitching at his feet. Her cries were nothing but background noise to him.
Instead, his gaze swept across the room, lecherous and slow, crawling over every trembling, naked woman like a roach in the dark. His tongue dragged over his lips, wet and vile.
“Come to think of it… we’re already bored of number 11620’s body.”
His eyes stopped on me.
Like acid down my spine, I felt the burn of his gaze.
“You. Since you’re the last number… come with me, number 11666.”
Terror spilled from my throat before I could even think.
“No… No...! I don’t want to!”
My knees shook. I backed away, bare feet scraping against the cold stone floor.
I didn’t want to be touched. I didn’t want to be defiled.
Death… I would’ve preferred death.
Because I had promised… promised my darling that I would wait. That my first time… would be his. That my heart and body would belong to no one else. Not in this world. Not in any world.
I screamed inside, silently begging the goddess to make me a test subject instead. Just let me die in a lab, torn apart by cruel experiments… but not this.
Please… Not this.
Then—
“Don’t take Sis Lena away!”
A voice pierced the horror.
“I’ll go! Let me take her place!”
I turned, my heart lurching.
“Rin…?”
It was Rin, my neighbor. Barely more than a child. She’d been taken with me, the only one I knew in this nightmare, the only one who called me sister. The only voice that ever spoke with warmth here.
“Rin!? What are you talking about!?”
I reached out, panic consuming me. But she stepped forward and hugged me, her arms trembling, her voice barely a whisper against my ear.
“Don’t worry, sis… I’ll be fine.”
“No…! No…!”
Tears broke free. I clung to her, shaking.
“You’ve always been kind to me,” she said softly. “You always helped me. So this time… let me protect you.”
“I don’t want that! I don’t need—!”
“You said someone would come for us, right?” she smiled, though her voice cracked. “So… let me buy you time. Until our savior arrives…”
My heart shattered.
I had told her that only to keep her from giving up. Obviously a lie. A small, stupid lie to comfort her. I never thought she’d believe it. But she had. Or maybe… she didn’t. Maybe she just wanted to believe. Maybe she wanted me to believe, too.
And now… she was going to die for it.
But instead of sparing me, her offer only made him grin wider.
“Aren’t you two adorable.”
He licked his teeth.
“You’re number 11665, huh? Just before her. What a perfect pair.”
He took a step forward, keys clinking in his hand like shackles.
“Guess we’ll take both. Two pretty girls before the next batch comes in.”
““Huh…?””
We froze.
“No!” Rin cried out. “Let her go! Don’t touch her! Just take me! I-I will do whatever you want, I swear! Just don’t lay a finger on her!”
My breath caught.
Even now… she still tried to protect me.
“Rin…”
But her desperation only amused him further.
“What are you, stupid?” he sneered. “If we wanted someone who begged for it, we’d go home to our wives.”
Wives…?
My eyes trembled.
They had wives? Families?
And yet here they were, forcing their way onto girls like us… like beasts. Like demons who wore the faces of men.
I bit down on the scream that rose in my throat.
“…Despicable.”
The word escaped me, trembling with disgust.
They were not like my darling. Not like the man I loved.
These weren’t men.
They were monsters.
But… He just shrugged and grinned.
“What’s wrong with it? It’s normal for men to want more women, right?”
“…!”
Yes.
Yes, I’d heard those words before, even in my old world.
But they never sounded like this.
Those men… they loved their wives. They were flawed, but they never took what wasn’t given. Never reduce others to objects.
But this man…
He didn’t desire love.
He wanted control.
Domination.
He… wanted to break us.
And in that moment, the fragile hope I’d carried about this world, about the people in it, shattered into dust.
I missed my darling.
I missed the warmth of his hand, the sound of his voice, the way his gaze held no hunger but only love.
And now, here I was.
Naked and afraid.
About to be dragged into hell.
And all I could do… was pray that someone, anyone, would come...
Before it is too late.
But… this was not a fantasy story in a book.
This was… my reality.
Living like this… is beyond pain.
It’s hell.
“Aaaaaaaahhhh!! It hurts!!”
Their voices, shrieks and groans twisted together, bounced off the sterile, bloodstained walls. The air was thick with the stench of chemicals, sweat, and suffering. Somewhere, a girl was being sliced open. Another screamed for her mother. Another laughed, a broken, manic sound that didn’t belong to a sane person anymore.
And then… us.
“Ahnnnn…”
“Ngghhhh…”
Rin and I, shackled and trembling, forced to crawl like dogs before their leering eyes. We weren’t test subjects today.
We were toys.
Their hands were cruel. Their laughter, louder than our sobs.
“Mmmmhhh…!”
“Mmnnnn…!”
They made us kiss. Not in love, not even in lust. Just for their amusement.
In front of the test subjects who screamed even louder than our moans.
Our lips and tongues pushed together. Tears streamed from our eyes and mingled in the hollow space between us.
Rin whimpered. Her shoulders shook. Her body trembled every time they touched her body, no kindness, no hesitation.
She tried to be strong.
I tried to be strong.
But our bodies betrayed us. Our dignity was stripped away along with our clothing.
And in our eyes… there was no light left.
We were hollow, like a cracked glass waiting to shatter.
I held her hand as we fell apart.
That was all I could do.
The sting in my body was nothing compared to what broke inside me.
I had waited.
I had promised.
My darling… I had saved everything for him.
But now...
Now I was being ruined by monsters in human skin.
<“I’m sorry… darling… I’m so sorry…”>
The words choked inside me. Not even a whisper. Just thoughts tangled in agony.
<“Please… forgive me…”>
Tears streamed down our faces in silence. Around us, metal clanged, instruments buzzed, other victims wailed, and the men laughed.
Time kept moving, uncaring.
And no one came.
All we could do was cry.
Cry for our broken hearts.
Cry for our broken bodies.
And cry… for the hope we were starting to lose.
Time had lost all meaning.
The days bled into each other, gray, numb, and painted in shades of agony. The others disappeared, one by one. Some died screaming. Some never screamed at all, their minds already broken before their bodies followed. Some came back… twisted, deformed, their eyes empty. Most never came back at all.
And then… It was Rin’s turn.
My hands were bound. My legs were shackled. And I could do nothing.
Nothing at all.
I watched them drag Rin’s small body forward like a doll on a leash. Her bare feet scraped against the cold floor, leaving streaks of red blood. Her arms trembled. Her voice, once so bright, cracked when she begged softly.
“Please… let me go…”
They didn’t even answer her.
They only laughed.
Her name wasn’t Rin anymore. It was 11665. A number scrawled onto a tag around her neck like livestock. She stood there trembling, too young, too thin, too kind, and they strapped her down like an offering to a butcher’s table.
“Rin…!”
I screamed her name.
“Riiinnnn…!”
I screamed and screamed until my voice broke.
But the collar around my neck flared to life, an electric jolt tearing through my spine, hurling me to the floor.
*ZZZRRRRAKKK—!*
“AAAAARRRGHHHHH!!”
My body convulsed. My jaw opened wide and screamed loud.
And in that helpless situation, I was forced to watch.
They began their test.
Not with scalpels, but with chemicals.
I didn’t know what they injected into her veins, but the moment it hit, her body spasmed violently.
“AAAAARRRGHHHHH!!”
Her screams weren’t like before. It was like her soul was being torn apart from the inside.
Her skin rippled. Her veins bulged. Blood poured from her nose, her eyes, her mouth.
And I...
I...
I couldn’t look away.
Because they made sure I watched.
They held my face forward. Even as I wept, even as I begged for it to stop… they forced my eyes open.
All while those same men... used me again.
Right there, in front of her.
“Ahnnn…! N-No…! R-Rin… N-Ngghhhh…!”
My voice broke into desperate sobs and moans, but their hands didn’t stop. My pain didn’t matter. My shame didn’t matter.
Only the experiment did.
I could see Rin's eyes through my tears, wide with agony. Her mouth moved, trying to speak, but no sound came out. Her body twitched uncontrollably, blood pooling around her waist.
And still… She looked at me.
Not in hate.
Not in blame.
But in gratitude.
In her final moment… as her chest heaved and her pupils faded into lifeless glass… she smiled.
She smiled at me.
And with blood on her lips, she whispered words I would never forget.
“Thank you… for everything… sister Lena…”
Then… she was gone.
Her eyes remained open.
And I—
I keep moaning.
But I forced myself to scream until my throat bled.
“Riiiinnnnnnnn!!! Nnnggghhhhh!!!!!”
My soul shattered.
I screamed even when my body was being used as a toy.
I screamed her name until there was no breath left.
But she didn’t answer.
She never would again.
And from that day forward, her voice haunted me.
Her smile.
Her sacrifice.
Her final breath, spent trying to comfort me while I… while I…
I did nothing.
Nothing but cry.
Nothing but moan.
Nothing but watch.
She gave her life for me.
And I… couldn’t even die for her.
I thought I would follow her.
I thought Rin's death would be the end of me too, that the next experiment, the next experiment reaching for me, would finally shatter what little remained of my body and soul.
But death never came.
Not for me.
Something inside me rejected the same fate. A strange, cursed resilience kept me breathing, even when I begged the goddess to take my life.
A trait they hadn’t expected. A phenomenon the researchers labeled with excitement.
They called it “progress.”
But I called it hell.
They doubled down on their efforts, eyes gleaming with feverish obsession. To them, I was no longer a test subject, but I was a mystery to be unraveled. A perfect experiment. A puzzle worth breaking.
Then... Years passed.
Or maybe it was centuries. I couldn’t tell anymore.
The light outside never changed. My world was dim corridors, flickering bulbs, and the constant hum of machines. The air stank of blood and metal.
Researchers came and went. Some grew old and left, others replaced them with fresh cruelty and newer tools. Their faces changed, but their eyes, the way they looked at me, never did.
Cold.
Lust.
Detached.
Each time they welcomed a new group of captives, new girls, new children, I prayed one of them would carry the same curse I did so my hellish time would be reduced.
But none of them did.
One by one, they died.
Kept, used, then died.
The researchers would toy with them like discarded dolls until their screams no longer echoed, and then, when even that entertainment faded, they would end them, cold and casual, as if throwing out trash.
And through it all… I endured.
I watched.
I listened.
I was being used.
I watched it again.
And being used again.
Like an endless cycle.
And I broke.
Every time they forced me beneath them, charted my vitals, praised my body's response, I sank deeper. My body responded only because it had been conditioned to.
There was no pleasure. No thought. No resistance.
Just emptiness.
I stopped crying years ago.
I stopped screaming too.
I learned how to float, how to escape into the corners of my mind where their voices couldn’t follow. At least… for a little while.
But even that sanctuary of my mind began to crumble.
The silence Rin left behind echoed louder than any torture they could inflict. Her final smile haunted the edge of every dream. Her voice, soft and forgiving, replayed itself every time I closed my eyes.
She died for me.
And I, her beloved “Sis Lena,” became nothing more than a breathing corpse, enduring one violation after another in her place.
The guilt burned deeper than the pain.
The shame clawed harder than the chains.
I forgot what my voice sounded like when I wasn’t moaning.
I forgot what it meant to be human.
I forgot… to be me.
There was no escape.
Only the never-breaking truth: I was the cursed one.
The one who couldn’t die.
And so, they kept me alive...
To suffer.
To break.
To watch.
And I...
I just waited.
Not for a savior.
But for my time to die.
Even if fate never allows it.
My life had felt like it had stopped.
Time blurred, pain repeated, and I had forgotten what change even looked like.
Until that day.
That judgment day.
“Aaaaaaahhhhhh!!!”
“Help meee!!”
“Nooo! Don’t kill me!!!”
Screams ripped through the halls.
But these weren’t the cries of test subjects.
Not the sobs of broken toys.
These were their voices.
The researchers.
The tormentors.
Panicked. Desperate. Dying.
Then… I heard it.
*Clank—clank—*
I looked down.
The collar around my neck had fallen to the floor.
Around me, the others stared, eyes wide, hollow and lost, unable to believe what they saw. Freedom wasn’t something we understood anymore. It was a word spoken in prayers we no longer believed in.
Then—
*BOOM!*
The heavy metal door exploded into shrapnel.
Smoke poured in, thick and choking.
And then, through it stepped a shadow.
A woman.
A figure cloaked in battle’s fury, wielding a sword dyed in the blood of our captors. Her long black hair clung to her black dress armor, wild and wind-tossed, and her obsidian eyes gleamed like blades in the dark.
For a moment, we cowered. Was this a new demon? A worse fate?
But then, her gaze swept across us.
And softened.
No pity. No revulsion.
Only recognition.
Like she saw us… not as subjects, not as numbers, not as toys.
But as people.
She raised her sword, voice calm and resolute.
“Let’s go. This place is not where you belong.”
And with that…
She gathered the few of us who still breathed,
And tore open a portal with a glowing scroll.
The light surrounded us.
Warm. Blinding. And felt unreal.
Was this what salvation looked like?
Was this what dying finally felt like?
No.
This wasn’t death.
It was something far more distant than I had dared to hope.
It was… an escape from hell.
After we emerged on a cliff overlooking the forest, the woman moved quickly and efficiently.
One by one, she handed clothes to the survivors.
And then… she sent them home.
Each one.
Teleportation scroll after scroll.
Without hesitation.
She didn’t hesitate to spend them, even though each one could cost a fortune. She only cared that they reached safety.
Until finally… only I was left.
Just me. The last broken soul.
I stood before her.
She turned to me, her voice soft and gentle. The kind of voice you’d expect from a mother, not a warrior soaked in blood.
“Where do you want to go?”
She asked. But I didn’t answer.
I couldn’t.
My mouth didn’t move.
My mind didn’t work.
I simply stood there, staring blankly at her like a lifeless doll, eyes wide, hollow, lost.
Because my mind had shattered long ago.
Because I had stopped thinking.
Because thinking hurts me.
She let out a sigh, quiet but heavy.
“I’ll take you to a safe elf village,” she murmured, as if she’d already decided for me.
But before she could move...
My hand reached out on its own.
It trembled violently as it clutched her cloak tightly and desperately.
I was scared.
Terrified of being left behind.
Of being alone again.
That was the first time my mind raced again.
But I still couldn’t speak. I didn’t know how to answer.
Because going back to my village…
If I saw Rin’s parents…
If they asked what happened to their daughter…
I didn’t have the strength to tell them.
I didn’t have the courage to say, “She died because she protected me.”
I couldn’t face them.
But it wasn’t just that.
I didn’t want to live buried in grief.
I wanted to live for something… do something.
Yes. Now I remembered it.
I… had dreams once.
I wanted to craft magic tools.
Invent magic.
That dream still flickered somewhere deep inside me, smothered by years of pain, but not dead.
And the most important thing… I’d made a promise.
To him.
To my darling.
Even if he never came.
Even if I was already tainted, defiled, and ruined.
I promised him I would find a safe place.
A place where we could live in peace, far from the war.
But I was weak.
Too weak to survive in this cruel world on my own.
Yet now… standing right in front of me... was strength.
A savior.
A kind, terrifying, powerful woman.
Maybe she could be my guide.
Maybe… just maybe, I wouldn’t have to be alone anymore.
At that moment, I… finally heard my own voice again.
“P-Please… let me follow you!”
I cried out, bowing so deeply my forehead brushed the dirt.
“I’ll do anything! Chores, errands, anything!”
She turned to me, face unreadable, and said flatly.
“You can’t. I don’t need a burden.”
Her words hit me like a slap.
Still, I didn’t give up. I pleaded, my voice cracking.
“I’ll train! I’ll become strong enough to help you! I swear I won’t be a burden!”
“No. I don’t need help,” she replied again, cold and unmoved.
I was shaking.
Then… I said it.
“I’m an otherworlder!”
The truth slipped from my lips like a final gamble.
“My knowledge from my past life might be useful to you!”
That gave her pause.
Her eyes narrowed.
And then, she sighed again, this time longer, softer.
“Haa… Why are you so honest?” she muttered.
“You’ll get yourself killed if people find out you’re an otherworlder while you’re still weak.”
I replied with a small voice, but sincere.
“I said it because… I trust you. You saved us. You didn’t look away.”
A brief silence.
Then…
She sighed again.
“Haa… Don’t complain later.”
My heart skipped. My eyes widened.
“Does that mean—?!”
Before I finished my words, she pointed toward a distant patch of grassland.
“My house is there. That small wooden one. Run to it. No aura. No mana. If you come late, no dinner tonight.”
She waved her hand and turned away, vanishing into thin air without sparing me another glance.
I stood still for a second, breath caught.
And then—
“Yes, Master!!”
I took off.
My legs felt like glass, but I ran anyway.
Because this time, I wasn’t running from something… I was running toward something.
Wind against my face.
Tears in my eyes.
And for the first time in what felt like an eternity—
There was a light ahead.
A home.
A chance.
And the beginning… of a new chapter in my life.