Kill Me, My Love

Chapter 49

"Chasm"

Nathan waited below. Lina emerged from the hotel when it got dark. She was dressed in a black top and a black skirt that fluttered in the wind with every step. Her hair was tied in a ponytail, and her soul was knotted in a thin bundle. She needed to be strong now. To build a stone wall on her face and not reveal her true feelings.

– I knew you’d make the right decision, – said Nathan brightly, gallantly opening the car door.

– I’m not doing this for you, – the girl gritted through her teeth, feeling shivers run down her spine.

It was noticeably colder outside. The pavement was wet after the rain, and the air was filled with the scent of dampness.

– Then for whom? – Nathaniel smirked.

– For Sam, – she uttered the name of her beloved and quickly climbed into the back seat.

No, she wouldn’t talk to Nathan about Samael. Not for anything. This hypocritical blond didn’t deserve even a strand of dark hair. He was nothing compared to him. An empty doll, a puppet in the hands of more powerful forces.

– Whatever, – replied Nathan, and taking the driver’s seat, he started the engine.

The car moved forward without any issues, immediately heading onto the highway. The hotel was surprisingly quickly left behind. And in it was Sam... Damn... Once again, Lina's thoughts returned to the abandoned man.

I wonder what he will think when he wakes up? It will be dawn outside... Perhaps at first he won’t grasp what’s happening. He will look around in confusion for Lina. And when it dawns on him that there’s no one around and the world hasn't burned in some damn apocalypse, what will he do? Rage? Curse? Cry from grief? Only the empty walls and the staff will learn about his madness...

It was dark outside. Nothing was visible, only an endless, moving black line. Nathaniel turned on the music. A silly romantic melody that was hysterically inappropriate for the situation. The girl was already sitting on needles. And now some diva sang with a sweet timbre about passionate hugs and first kisses. Damn them all with their stupid love!

– Turn it off! – the girl shouted.

– You don’t like it? – Nathan innocently asked.

– No. I don’t like it, – she said decisively, clearly separating the words. – I, damn it, don’t like it!

– Alright, alright, don’t get so worked up, – Nathan backtracked immediately. – What channel should I put on? Rock? Rap? Pop? Or maybe you enjoy country?

Lina sighed loudly and leaned back in her seat. How much Nathaniel annoyed her with his manners, to the point of nausea.

– Don’t turn anything on. How long do we have to drive?

– About five hours. Then climbing the volcano will take about the same time. I think we’ll be on time.

So ahead lay ten hours of this slug’s company. A doubtful prospect... Lina looked at her hands, tiny ink stains adorned her fingers. The pen found in the drawer was cheap, so it was no wonder... She remembered writing the letter. When she stopped sobbing, she decided to draft a farewell message. What else could she do? Leave Sam without answers? No, she couldn’t do that, so calming down her hysteria, she sat down at the table and started writing.

At first she just stared at the white sheet, nothing sensible came to mind. How should she start the letter? With what? Writing – "Hello, Sam, it’s me your dead ex-girlfriend," or – "Samael – it’s Lina, the vile traitor who drugged you with sleeping pills."

She sighed. Looked once more at the empty paper. There was only one way out – to write the truth, just as it is. So she bit her lip and poured out all her thoughts onto the sheet:

“Sam, you’re reading this letter at dawn. Maybe at this very moment I am taking the decisive step. Maybe I’ve already taken it. If so, and you are still alive, it means one thing – the world is saved, the apocalypse hasn’t happened, and now everything will be alright.

I’ve hidden the truth. I think you’ve noticed that I’ve been off lately. It’s all because of Nathan, who visited while you were gone from the hotel. He suggested the only possible way out: to drug you with sleeping potion, and for me to go to the chasm of Abaddon to complete a mission. As you can see, I’ve returned to where I started. To my great sacred mission. A voluntary sacrifice for the good of the world. Although to be honest, I don’t care about the good of the world. (Suzie is a small exception). The main thing is your life.

I want you to be happy, no matter how absurd this may sound. You are so strong. You will definitely cope with the grief. Ahead of you lies eternal life. I’m sure, sooner or later a girl will be born who will overshadow my existence with just one look. You will fall in love with her, and all wounds will heal. You will remember me with a light sadness. At least, that’s what I hope for.

I don’t want you to hate me, though I admit: I acted vilely. But what was left? No one can say for sure what will happen at six in the morning on the thirty-first of October. But I sincerely hope that the prophecy won't come true. Well, I need to finish. Know that you were the best thing that ever happened in my life, so I don’t regret anything. Remember, I will only be happy if you are happy.

Kisses.

Love.

Your Lina.”

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