Immortality Is No Easy Task

Chapter 12

It took a while for the whole scene to settle in.

A scholar who has always abstained from the three sacrilegious actions that a scholar can do.

He lived his life by those rules, closely following them without a trace of doubt.

First of all one shall abstain from heavy misuse of alcohol, a scholar must always have their mind on studying and learning.

Secondly, a scholar shall abstain from indulging in the pleasures of man and woman, such an act is sacred and should only be done with the significant other.

Lastly a scholar must not misuse authority and abuse the weak and poor, a scholar must uphold these values.

For Qi Chen who followed this code throughout his life, he had barely held hands with someone other than his mother and siblings in his life.

Letting her perform these surgeries was already the most he could take, but sleeping next to him?

It was enough to burn him to the ground.

Yet he quickly registered it in his brain.

Right a cultivator, they might not even be ‘human’ anymore, this much should be fine.

With this thought, his mind was cleared again, cycling back to the previous injection of nostalgia.

A dream indeed.

He briefly closed his eyes, feeling a gentle heat swell up from behind, lethargy has unfortunately yet to fade.

Admittedly, while begrudgingly, perhaps, it was because of a long distant, past that no soul would wish to know.

The past is the greatest enemy of the present.

Dwell too long in it, like a bottomless abyss, you would never be able to give it up, it offers so much, to a futureless present, it is the most attractive.

But the more you wish to forget something, the more vicious it gets, like a covered animal, it will only strike harder, more mercilessly.

The thought had haunted him for too long.

Too long indeed.

The thought was too painful, yet too hard to ignore, causing him to desperately find something to pivot his thoughts.

Lightly, Qi Chen reopened his eyes, the sight once again reappeared in his eyes.

He glanced closer this time.

A white flowing robe was a thin fabric that covered him, the only thing barricading him from the harsh nature of the turbulent, heartless world.

A hazy thought covered him as he stretched his neck, turning his neck to the left, a sight left him questioning his eyes.

Gently lifting his hands to catch another glimpse of his hair, snow white strands entered his vision.

In an instant, a pressure sunk in his throat.

Age.

Time.

Death.

A revelation came crashing like a wave.

A unsettling feeling swept over him.

It wasn't regret, he was already too far from it.

It was more of a final conclusion.

No.

It was the weight.

The weight of realising the decision made, while regret was far from present, the weight of finality made it no better.

Time has already claimed him as it's own.

He was put in a grave, waiting for his faithful end.

Yet again and again, should the cost be even more, he had already known that his decision would unanimous.

Knowledge is the bane of a scholar.

To live for knowledge, to die for knowledge is something like a second nature.

Time has indeed faded, leaving its permanent traces on his body.

Time is a thief that takes it all without you even knowing it.

Only now, did he understand how it felt to have it all taken from you.

The hair was bleached by time itself, carving its mark deep into my soul.

My lovely, dear time.

A dedicated follower of me.

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A permanent reminder indeed.

Indeed, as heartless as they said.

Giving a soft, peaceful yet bitter smile, he put his hand down, letting gravity sway the strand of hair back to his sideburns.

This is…

The weight of time.

It has always felt so light, yet when finality has hit, for the first time, he felt he crushing weight, not far from the weight of countless boulders, crushing him into a paste.

Indomitable will and an indomitable spirit.

These two and you would succeed no matter where you go.

He lacked both of those, merely barely making it up with an unhealthy obsession.

A obsession for knowledge does not make one a scholar, it makes a maniac.

He was no scholar.

At least, he no longer was.

The scholar he had always wanted to be, from the moment he stood foot in the inner gate, has been buried deep by the sands of fate.

The uncaring, all knowing and unfair fate.

Devoured without a trace.

Perhaps, he knew that better than anyone.

He has already died, under his bed, leaving behind only a mere phantom to haunt him for the rest of his life.

A laugh escaped his mouth, a scoff, a self directed, self mocking smile.

‘Humanity’.

The most important virtue of a scholar is to love and understand all things, hearing all things out, caring about all things.

It was not an aimless pursuit of the truth.

He had been wrong from the start, yet there was no point dwelling on what has been done.

There is nothing I can do.

Right.

After all, to live, ‘I’ have already sacrificed my ‘humanity’.

For knowledge you say.

How funny, lying to yourself like a pathetic creep.

You were merely afraid.

Afraid of death.

Damn coward.

You petty, useless coward.

Burn in hell.

Just like how you made your own purgatory.

Make a hell befitting of your fall.

———

“Hey!”

A waving hand crashed his endless line of thoughts. Like a wave, crashing him back to reality.

“Hmm?”

He tilted his head, giving a light glance, his eyes resting on the picturesque scene.

Pretty, he noted in his mind, yet he did not allow his gaze to dwell much longer.

Yet against his will, he couldn't help but take another glance.

I am sure I saw something.

Her eyes…

The previous glisteningly clear morning blue eyes were invaded by a devastating amethyst in her right eye.

A crystalline, luminescent amethyst, a sharp contrast from the soft, calm inducing blue, making the mixture an unnatural allure.

“Your eye…”

The words slipped out of his mouth, as his mind began to link it all up.

She gently put her hand in front of her right eye, pointing at it, seeminfly asking if he was talking about it

Returning a nod, a light chuckle left her mouth.

“It is exactly what you think.”

Her voice was teasing, but dangerously sweet.

Yet Qi Chen’s mind was a vortex of emotions.

Forgetting he was crippled he crawled out of the bed, only to fall pathetically on to the ground.

He needed to see it.

Don't tell me!?

With much force he ripped the cloth covering his eyes, exposing them to the full truth of the world.

The worl-

———

What?

What just happened?

His mind was split by the brightest streak of light, the last scene he saw a glisteningly ominous world.

It was filled with…

Filled with what?

I can’t remember.

He couldn't remember anything except for the exact moment his mind stopped, it could no longer think, everything was paused, he instantly fell, losing all will, all though and all resistance.

Not even an inch of defiance was allowed, except he didn't even want to, he couldn't do anything.

Recalling the sensation, he grimaced, his mind stuck in an endless loop of extreme confusion.

What has happened?

Questions were left there, hanging, with no answer in sight.

Attempting to open his eyes to question her, his body was refusing to adhere to his commands, his eyes not even twitching a bit, making him feel even more pathetic.

The thin piece of cloth could once again be felt on the edges of his eyes, along with the soft bedding beneath his body.

Did I fall unconscious?

Recognising the bed beneath him, he could only have her to thank, yet one way or another, he did not wish to.

Putting his palm on the bed, he attempted to propel himself upright.

He struggled to get up, his mind still suffering from a ripping pain, as if his mind had been stabbed by a knife and treated as a toy.

It was painful, more so terrifying.

It felt as if his mind had been shut completely, and he could not do a thing about it.

Not even fear it.

“You are awake.”

A familiar voice, rather, the only voice he had heard for days.

“What just…”

“What happened?”

He only wanted to have his thoughts absolved, the splitting pain was showing no signs of stopping, as if something in his mind was expanding endlessly, threatening to pop his head any given second.

The feeling was terrifying, edging him further away from a sanctuary of sanity.

“That is what you get for not listening to me finish.”

Her tone carried a trace of contempt, but it was more teasing than anything.

“Calm down, you won't die.”

Her words held a certain degree of credibility aside from the previous Nutrition Pill, he would ashamedly admit that he trusted most of what she said, her words were a welcome addition.

“Tell me, are you curious why?”

He gave a weak nod in response, still trapped in the engulfing darkness that his eyes refused to break free from.

Seeing that he has calmed down a bit, she continued.

“Basically your mind forcefully shut off.”

“Take it as an emergency switch, in order to preserve your sanity, it forcefully shut off by itself.”

“Your mind is, after all, too weak to handle the Spirit World.”

“That is why you immediately lost control and fainted.”

“Well, at least that shows that my experiment was a great success!”

She mused, continuing with a low voice.

“You should count your blessings on having a rather reactive switch, any later and you would have turned brain-dead.”

“Notice how you can no longer open your eyes?”

Qi Chen quickly nodded, prompting her to continue.

“Your mind is refusing, it thinks that you would die the next second you open it.”

“Rather to be exact, your subconscious.”

“There are two sections of consciousness in your brain.”

“Your normal consciousness, one that makes decisions and requests to the second consciousness.”

“The second consciousness is what you mortals call the subconscious.”

“But cultivators call it the ‘Divine Self’.”

“Divine Self?”

“It is the most important part of you, it decides every single thing, whether your normal consciousness is able to perform it or not.”

Sensing his confusion, she continued.

“Take it as so, every action or decision you want to perform is as if requesting something from your Divine Self.”

“The Divine Self holds all rights to reject it, or allow it, usually even when it rejects it, you will feel as if you made that decision.”

“Yet the Divine Self is currently, albeit desperately attempting to protect you, causing it to forgo that step.”

“The moment you open your eyes, it fears that you will cease to exist.”

“In order to prevent any other scenario, it causes you to be completely unable to open them.”

He had already thought that nothing could shock him anymore, yet when faced with the newly presented ‘truth’, he was equally baffled.

Speechless even.

She didn't give him time to process anything.

“This is why we cultivators call our consciousness ‘Self’ and our subconscious ‘Divine Self'.”

“It is the final layer of mental defence.”

The Self and the Divine Self…

It indeed is a miraculous duo that does their best to keep one alive.

Qi Chen has always found it fascinating to think about what even causes him to think, yet at the moment, he had more pressing matters.

“What can I do?”

“Simple, nothing.”

“It should wear off quick enough once it detects that you can reopen your eyes again.”

“After all in the presence of the Soul Binding Cloth, the ‘Divine Self’ can acutely sense that it is safe, in about a while, you should be able to reopen them.”

“Right, you should try again.”

“It should be done by now.”

Heeding her words, Qi Chen attempted to open his eyes, this time successfully.

Light has finally reentered the previously black world of his, allowing him a figment of peace.

There is always more to learn in the mysterious world of cultivation.

Even the wisest of cultivators may have yet to learn all about it.

Cultivators have their ways of survival, every single one of them is force to be reckoned with.

A smart cultivator is often the craftiest.

While the older the cultivator, the more ruthless and meticulous they are.

After all, the basic condition of survival requires caution to be exercised.

This is why one must doubt it all, especially when it is this obvious.

Taking a deep breath, Qi Chen shot out a question.

“Tell me, what do you wish from giving me all these?”

“Rather, what exactly is your motive?”

He stared at her, despite the blindfold covering his eyes, his hostility could not be more obvious.

A normal man would see this and call him an ingrate, a more intelligent one would understand his actions.

There is no such thing as a free lunch, especially not in the world of cultivation.

For a furnace to get a powerful technique, a treasure of a Nascent Soul and Qi Condensation was a tall tale to begin with.

After all, furnaces are consumables, to pour so much resources into a tool is laughable, even a saint would find it hard to do so.

Telling them knowledge was at least logical, after all, he was someone who was going to die sooner or later.

After all, dead man tell no tales.

It was as if placing priceless jewels into a disposable paper kite.

Generosity was one thing, giving him her eye is another.

He found it hard to believe, someone who saw his life as dust would somehow give him her eyes.

“Would you believe if I said it was love?”

A completely unconcealed look of disgust and ‘Do you think I am that dumb?’ look appeared on his face.

Seeing that he was not buying it, she flippantly took a seat on the bedding.

“Come on, aren't you in the least touched? I gave you so much!”

“...”

After pausing for a bit, exasperated at her useless pivotal of the topic, he continued.

“Tell me, what exactly do you want?”

“Experiment? A mortal like me? Surely not.”

“It is funny enough to implant a Nascent Soul’s eyes onto a mere mortal, a furnace no less.”

“There should be much better candidates.”

His voice was icy cold, causing one to feel goosebumps up their skins.

“I thought you would at the very least be grate

ful and look past that.”

A smirk cleanly appeared on her lips.

“I doubt you thought I was going to look past that.”

“Is this another test?”

“Correct!”

She gave a light and short clap, that was more mocking that congratulatory.

“Quite frankly, I see it as generosity.”

“Not convinced?”

“Let me phrase it better, I see you as a investment.”

“A risk that I can afford to take.”

“I have placed my bets on you.”