I Woke Up in the Marvel Universe, But All the Heroes Are Women?

Chapter 103: Bowl Cut

My brain feels like it's running on six different operating systems at once as I slouch in my chair, half-listening to Aaron's detailed explanation of the proper way to fold napkins for a formal dinner setting. Home Economics class stretches before me like an endless desert of boredom, but I've got bigger problems than learning which fork goes where.

"So the napkin swan is actually pretty simple once you get the initial fold right," Aaron continues, his perfect hands demonstrating with practiced grace. "You just need to…"

"Uh-huh," I mutter, my eyes unfocused as I mentally scroll through a Rolodex of psychic heroes and magical doctors who might be able to fix Piper's brain.

Professor Xavier stands out as the obvious first choice. If anyone could navigate the psychic labyrinth of a consciousness transfer, it'd be the world's most powerful telepath. But getting an appointment with the head of the X-Women probably requires more than just showing up at the mansion gates.

Doctor Strange is another solid option, mystical surgery seems right up her alley. Though explaining our situation might be tricky. Or maybe not… Maybe it’s just stupid enough to be believed.

I drum my fingers against the desk, barely registering Aaron's continued napkin tutorial. Maybe the Fantastic Four could help me get an introduction with Professor…

"Earth to Shane," Aaron waves his hand in front of my face, snapping me back to the present. His perfect eyebrows are drawn together in concern. "You haven't heard a word I've said, have you?"

"Sorry," I sigh, running a hand through my perpetually messy hair. "I've got a lot on my mind."

Aaron leans closer, lowering his voice. "Girl troubles?" His eyes flick meaningfully toward the door. "Is everything okay with Ellie?"

"No, it's not that," I say quickly. "Ellie's great. It's just..." I trail off

"Just what?" he presses.

I'm saved from answering by a sudden hush that falls over the classroom. My eyes dart to the doorway, and my jaw nearly hits the floor.

The classroom goes eerily quiet as Piper Parker steps through the doorway. Except it's not really Piper, not as I know her. The transformation is jarring. Her brown hair has been chopped into the most aggressive bowl cut I've ever seen, like someone placed an actual bowl on her head and went to town with scissors. Thick-rimmed glasses perch on her nose, despite the fact that spider powers should have fixed her vision ages ago.

She stands in the doorway scanning the room with clinical precision, her posture unnaturally rigid. Gone is Piper's usual slouch and casual demeanor, replaced by something calculated and foreign.

"Absolutely ridiculous," she mutters, loud enough for several students to hear. "Home Economics? What an embarrassing waste of superior intellect..."

Her eyes continue their methodical sweep of the classroom, like she's cataloging everything and everyone for future reference. She's looking for a seat, but moving like she's never been in this room before.

"Piper! Right here!" I call out, pointing emphatically to the empty chair beside me.

For a split second, something flickers across her face, confusion, maybe recognition, before it's quickly replaced by that same cold calculation. She straightens her spine even more, if that's possible, and marches toward me with deliberate steps.

"Ah, Mr. Steele," she says, her voice carrying a formality that Piper has never once used with me. "How... fortuitous to find you here."

She slides into the seat beside me, placing her notebook precisely in the center of her desk, aligning it perfectly with the edges. Each movement is measured, efficient, nothing wasted.

Aaron leans forward, looking past me to Piper. "Whoa, Parker. New look, huh?"

"Indeed," she replies without looking at him. "I found my previous appearance inefficient and juvenile. This is far more practical."

I can't tear my eyes away from that bowl cut. It's so aggressively bad that it almost circles back around to being a statement. Almost.

I'm about to finally respond to Aaron when I realize Piper's staring at me. Not just looking staring with this intense, almost clinical gaze, like she's examining a fascinating specimen under a microscope. Her eyes haven't left my face for at least thirty seconds.

"What's up, Piper?" I ask, trying to sound casual despite the uncomfortable scrutiny.

She doesn't answer immediately. Her jaw tightens slightly, a hint of annoyance crossing her features, but her eyes remain locked on mine with unnerving focus.

After what feels like an eternity, she leans closer. "I know your secret," she whispers, her breath tickling my ear.

My heart skips a beat, but I force myself to stay calm. If I'm going to help her, I need to play along, pretend I don't know she's not really Piper. The last thing I need is Doc Ock realizing I'm onto her.

"I know," I whisper back, giving her a casual smile. "We just saw each other last night, remember? At the warehouse?"

She nods slowly, her eyes narrowing behind those thick glasses. "Indeed," she whispers. There's a slight pause, a subtle shift in her expression.

The teacher finally calls the class to attention, her voice barely cutting through my whirling thoughts about Piper's sudden transformation. As she launches into today's lesson on proper table settings for formal events, I try to focus on the whiteboard rather than the unnerving presence beside me.

But I can feel Piper's eyes on me. Constantly.

I glance sideways and sure enough, she's staring at me with that same freakish intensity, like I'm some fascinating lab specimen she can't wait to dissect. She doesn't even try to hide it when our eyes meet instead, she tilts her head slightly, as if adjusting her observation angle.

Even creepier, she's taking notes. Twenty minutes into the lecture, I can't take it anymore.

"Could you stop staring at me?" I whisper. "It's really distracting."

Her eyes narrow behind those thick glasses, and her jaw tightens almost imperceptibly. "I wasn't aware my intellectual curiosity was so bothersome," she mutters, just loud enough for me to hear.

"You're creeping me out," I say, shifting uncomfortably in my chair. "Could you please stop?"

She immediately stops writing, her pen freezing mid-stroke. Her posture stiffens even more, if that's possible.

"My apologies, Mr. Steele," she says formally, her voice lacking any of Piper's usual warmth. "I didn't intend to make you uncomfortable with my observations."

She promptly turns to face forward, her bowl cut catching the fluorescent lights in a way that makes it look even more severe. I exhale quietly, relieved to have her laser focus directed elsewhere. The teacher drones on about tablecloth etiquette, but I can't concentrate.

Despite her apparent attention to the lecture, I catch her stealing glances at me from the corner of her eye. Each time I notice, she quickly redirects her gaze forward, only to resume her surveillance moments later.

Aaron nudges me, sliding a folded note across our shared desk. I open it to find his perfect handwriting: "What's with Parker? Did you two have a fight?"

I sigh, crumpling Aaron's note in my palm. I shake my head slightly, not wanting to engage with his gossip.

The minutes drag by like hours as I try to ignore both Aaron's curious glances and Piper's creepy surveillance. When the bell finally rings, I nearly jump out of my seat, shoving my untouched notebook into my backpack.

"See you Wednesday," Aaron calls as I make a beeline for the door.

"Yeah, sure," I mutter, not bothering to look back.

I'm halfway to the hallway, mentally mapping the quickest route to the Baxter Building, when a hand slams against the wall beside my head. I freeze mid-step, my escape cut short as Piper blocks my path, her arm creating a barrier between me and freedom.

"Whoa, whoa," she says, her face uncomfortably close to mine. "Where are you off to in such a rush?"

My back presses against the wall as I try to put some distance between us.

"Piper, what are you doing?" I hold back my impatience.

She leans closer, that ridiculous bowl cut nearly brushing against my forehead. "I'm just checking to see if you're still dating, uhh..." She pauses, her brow furrowing in concentration. "What's her name?"

"Yes," I say firmly, meeting her gaze without flinching. "I'm still dating Ellie."

Disappointment flashes behind her eyes.

"Ellie. Right." She straightens slightly but doesn't remove her arm from the wall. "The large blonde with the questionable temper."

I bristle at her description. "That's my girlfriend you're talking about."

"Indeed." She adjusts her glasses with her free hand. "Fascinating choice for someone of your demeanor."

Her eyes drift down to my lips, lingering there with an intensity that makes me swallow hard. After a moment, she pulls her arm away from the wall, stepping back just enough to give me breathing room.

"Well, if you ever want to socialize, I'm around," she says, her tone unnervingly casual despite the predatory gleam in her eyes.

"What, you aren't busy with your... extra-curriculars?" I ask pointedly, hoping she catches my meaning about her spider activities.

"Ah, true. But since we're both of similar... prowess, it's not like we couldn't do something like that together."

The suggestion hangs in the air between us, loaded with implications.

"Sorry, Pipes. You know I only do team-ups when Ellie's around," I say firmly, adjusting the strap of my backpack.

"Right, right. Of course," she replies, nodding a little too quickly. Her expression shifts rapidly between confusion and calculation, like her brain is processing a thousand thoughts at once. "Another time, then."

She takes another step back, straightening her spine with that unnatural rigidity again. "Well, see you around, Mr…" She stops abruptly, catching herself mid-sentence. "See you around, Shane."

I watch her walk away, that terrible bowl cut bobbing with each precise step. Once she's out of earshot, I lean against the wall and let out a long breath I didn't realize I'd been holding.

"I gotta get to Rita ASAP," I whisper to myself.

Superior Piper Parker: