I Unintentionally Became Her Kitten

Chapter 118: Anxiety

I pulled my hood up a little tighter. It was still a bit warm for a jacket like this, but I needed the anonymity. I did let my face show to cameras so the store’s security didn’t need to worry. I just didn’t want to be recognized by everyone else. 

Alisha had been in and out of restless sleep and I’d been trying to keep her drinking water and eating food but it was quickly apparent salad wasn’t appetizing and other options were limited so I was at the grocery store again, cart squeaking as I went aisle by aisle trying to decide what to feed her.

Alisha ate salad… and coffee and yogurt though she had been mainly pushing the yogurt around rather than eating it. She wasn’t really ‘sick’ in the way that her body would be fighting off a cold or flu. She was just exhausted.

I opted to pick up some Electro-lite for her. Staying hydrated was key.

The wheels squeaked some more as I rounded another aisle. People were giving me second glances, which made the too-hot outfit even worse but I’d survive. I stopped at the soups and stared. What kind of soup would she like? The standard would be chicken noodle and I picked one of those.

Wasn’t there a super common japanese soup though? Nothing jumped out at me so I did an online search to find miso soup.

They did not have a premade version but the asian aisle had a powdered version I picked up and after looking it over, I decided to pick up some extra tofu and green onions for it. So there would be tasty liquids with some proteins and stuff for her. I picked out a bunch of fruit as well and got some plain yogurt to make smoothies with. 

I felt naked here, without someone watching over me. When was the last time I went to a grocery store on my own? Maybe college?

It had been so long ago.

I stopped in the candy aisle, spotting the chocolate from afar and hesitated before picking up a dark chocolate bar from a reputable brand and tossing it in the cart with my other items. Brownies were easy and Alisha liked them, so maybe it would be food I could get her to eat.

I cashed out at the front and adjusted the hood of my jacket a little before going out to my car.

That was another weird feeling. My

car. I had checked the glove compartment and it did say Kitten Bauer on the paperwork. Alisha didn't mess around with promises. Soon my name change would be getting done too.

I made my way back to her house, the route feeling completely different from the front seat and driving a car that was so alien, almost space-ship like in feeling. The seat was quite comfortable and all the controls had a satisfying feeling to their feedback.

The car glided onto Alisha’s extended driveway and I slowed to follow the curve and finally park in the secondary garage.

I got out, gathering the bags of groceries and looked up surprised as the door to the house opened and Alisha was standing there, looking pale and worried.

“Hi,” I told her. “I just got back from the store,” I explained. 

She was quiet, her teeth moving a little bit before she said anything. “I was worried,” she decided. It wasn’t angry, just exhausted.

I put the bags down and walked over to her, putting a hand on her arm. “I’m okay, Alisha,” I reassured her. “No one saw me. I guess I should’ve told you though.”

She shook her head, looking guilty. I saw one of her hands and picked it up in mind to look at her nails. The normally smooth edges were rough. Chewed on.

That was not like Alisha.

I stepped inside with her and sat her down at the table, letting her stare as I got the kettle out. I made us some tea and then went to get the groceries, just to turn around and find her watching me from the doorway again.

I took a deep breath, and urged her back inside even with my hands full. She sat down again, though her eyes didn’t leave me.

By the time I’d gotten the groceries put away the kettle beeped that it had finished and I made some mugs with peppermint tea bags.

Alisha was still silent as I set the mug in front of her.

“It’s okay,” I told her. “You’re allowed to have feelings.”

“I just–” she went quiet again, still processing. “It took everything for me not to do something,” she explained. “Call Tye. Or get in the car to look for you myself.”

I sat down with my own mug and rested a hand on her wrist. “This is anxiety,” I told her.

She nodded, “I know.”

“The next time you can call me. Or text me.”

“I– did text you,” she admitted.

I frowned and pulled my phone out to see the unanswered message. “I’m sorry, I should turn my volume on if I’m leaving the house. I didn’t really think about it and since it’s pretty much just Sophia with my number, I don’t tend to check my texts.”

She shook her head again. “I shouldn’t have to know exactly where you are at all times,” she explained. “I know how suffocating that is.” 

“Yes, but you can still ask if I’m safe,” I told her. “And I will tell you next time before I leave. I just didn’t think.”

She finally took a small sip of tea. “It’s strange,” she said finally.

I waited for her elaboration.

“I’ve never felt this lost,” she explained. “There’s always a purpose. A plan for right now. But now I’m just… waiting for the week to finish. I feel guilty and… lazy.”

“You’re resting,” I reminded her. “Because you’re human. What would you have done if it was Tye that collapsed from exhaustion?”

“Give him the week off,” she answered automatically.

“And you’re taking a week off after collapsing from exhaustion. There isn’t laziness there. It’s recovery. Most people work about forty hours a week. From what I see with you, you work almost all day most days, and then when you get home you still have to worry about things, strategize, all of that. You’re incredibly hardworking and proactive.”

“I can’t afford recovery,” she mumbled.

“Then you will die.”

It came out far harsher than I intended and she froze before looking at me.

“What I mean is,” I restarted. “It’s not sustainable. And if you don’t take the time to rest your body will keep collapsing and you won’t get to choose when or where.”

She nodded.

“You can talk to me about anything you’re worried about,” I told her. “Even if its unpleasant or silly or embarrassing. I’m here for you.” I leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Okay?”

“Okay,” she agreed.

AN: so some exciting news, I've decided to put this book into a novel format to get real-self-published over on amazon. That being said it will be about the first 80-ish chapter revised and edited. The story here on scribble hub won't be getting touched or anything, it stays up more or less unchanged. Just some minor edits and typo corrections here and there.

And yes, I resigned from my job to focus on this, because I never will if I don't take that leap of faith. (And no I don't expect to make a living from adapting one web-novel, but it's a starting place all the same).

If you're interested in being a beta-reader, you can reach out to me, leave a comment, whatever. I'm not quite prepared to have people touch the manuscript yet but it will be an eventuality.

As always, thank you for reading and supporting the story however you see fit (just reading it is supporting)! <3