I only like you as a paper man

Chapter 113 Have You Arrived?

"Why?" Tosi said, putting your sea view room badges on the counter casually, walking into the warehouse to pick up the gift he prepared for you, "In your eyes, is it possible that I have to catch up with you?" Is there a reason why she can't?"

"Naishuang, don't stop me, I'm going to beat this devil today!" Zhong Ye was so anxious that he called Tuosi "this devil".

"I didn't stop you, Mr. Chuya, I support you!" Nai Shuang was about to die of anxiety, "Dostoevsky, if you don't go after Chacha, I will go!"

"No, I should be here. It is our responsibility to protect the Lord. From the past, whenever the Lord suffers setbacks in reality, he will tell his servants." Hasebe also spoke, and he thought again : Although, after they will travel to the present world, the Lord never did this kind of thing again.

"...Fyodor, I didn't say, even I can't stand it?" Dazai covered his eyes with one hand, thinking how could there be such a man (although he himself is also in another meaning) "How can there be such a man" on the Internet), "If you continue to dawdle, I will take action."

"What are you talking about, Mr. Dazai, do you usually make fewer shots?" Tosi held his gift box and glanced at Dazai, "...Unfortunately, you have no chance of winning."

"Why are you so sure?"

"...Because I am Dostoevsky the Devil."

Tuo Si only left such a sentence, and then left the store without looking back, walking in the direction you left.

"Gogol, don't you go...to make trouble?" Seeing that Gogol hadn't spoken, Sigma panicked. It stands to reason that Gogol would definitely make trouble and take the lead.

"Huh—?" Gogol said in a long voice, "Why do I have to do such a thing?"

"Because usually..."

"...Hahaha! Haha! Ha! Mr. Sigma, have you forgotten, I am a weirdo who doesn't play cards according to common sense!"

Sigma: ………………you are happy.jpg

…………

Tosi knows where you are going.

It was already late at night, not to mention people coming and going nearby, and almost all of them were couples, even if they found a place to sit down, they would be stuffed with dog food.You don't like to stand out or be a nuisance, so you don't wander around aimlessly outside.

You must have gone home first.

He has been silent just now, because there is no need to do so.Xiancao just wants to give you a gift, even if he has other expectations for you, Tuo Si also knows that just like what happened just now, your attitude will not change easily.

Plus, he loves to watch humans make mistakes.

In the past, he had seen countless scenes of couples confessing or quarreling while drinking afternoon tea in a coffee shop. Most of them were mixed with negative emotions that only belonged to human beings - selfishness, desire, possessiveness, desire for material things, etc.This is the sin that human beings bear from birth.The emotion called "love" that human beings claim to be the noblest is nothing but a collection of these negative emotions, justified by a noble word called "love".

But you and jelly are exceptions.

So he didn't say anything.

Xiancao's contribution to you is not for taking, not for kidnapping you with love.And you won't mistake illusory matter for love, you're not that kind of human being.

Because of this, even if he loves all humans equally, only you as an individual are special.

...since in the past, always has been.

It is precisely because of this that he can't use his usual methods on you.

He's a manipulative demon, as long as he wants to, there are as many ways to make you submit to him and turn you into what he wants you to be.

But he didn't.

Because it doesn't make sense.

Tuosi naturally knows your love for him. Although you say that Fei Jiaqin, whom you love deeply, is a paper figure, but in essence, what is the difference between them?Do you care about changing from flat to three-dimensional?It's not from 35 to Arai.

Do you care about the style of painting?No, what you care about is that the original Fei Jiaqin has changed, becoming a different person in terms of temperament and feeling.

You love him, and he himself should be a non-existent human being.You wouldn't have had an intersection, you wouldn't have had any influence on him.But once he appears by your side, once you try to get close to him, your love for him will change from pure love to demand, and will become selfish, which will affect him and cause him trouble.

So you can only avoid him, emphasizing that you only love him who does not exist in the world, and love him who should have nothing to do with you.Once the distance is shortened, this peaceful status quo will be destroyed.

Dostoevsky does not take the initiative to close the distance.

It's not "don't know how to do it", it's just "don't want to do it".

In fact, he can also use you to pass the boring time in another world, take the initiative to approach you, set traps for you to jump in, and then enjoy observing your reactions.He is not a piece of wood, and he is not as dull as you. How could he not see your love for him, and how could he not know what ordinary human beings should do when faced with this situation?

The reason why he didn't take the initiative to do so was—that's the kind of person he was.

This is a statement, it is a fact, but the reason is actually—in your heart, he is such a person.

The point of this sentence is "in your heart".

He respects your ideas and your love for him, so he will always act at his own pace.Doing so is not ignoring you, not avoiding you, and not trying to whet your appetite, but instead responding to your love for yourself and respecting you.

Your love is beautiful and free from other impurities—maybe it can’t be said that there is no such thing at all, because you are just an ordinary human being, but relatively speaking, the impurities in your love are almost pitifully rare. degree.

There is no interest relationship between you and him, and he doesn't need to use you to accomplish his goals.Even if there is such a situation, with his ingenuity, he can think of a way to achieve his goal without hurting you and protecting you.

He loves all human beings equally, like a god who has never stepped into the world.

But Dostoyevsky is a human being after all, and perhaps he will unconsciously prefer it.No... In fact, even the gods will have a preference, otherwise why would human beings have unequal births and fates?

And you just happen to be that special someone.

From the past, always have been.

It's just that you don't know it yet.

You once said that if it was Fei Jia who kissed you, even if it was Plato who fell in love with you, you were fine. That sentence was not a joke, you have already proved it with your actual actions.Haven't you guys been in a relationship like this for a long time?

When Tuosi returned home, he went straight to the rooftop, and you were there.The coat was thrown on the small tea table by you, and you stood by the railing at the end and let the cold wind hit you.

"I'll catch a cold." He took off his coat and put it on you.

"Mr. Dostoevsky, Dostoyevsky...!" You suddenly raised your head, and saw Dostoyevsky standing in front of you.It never occurred to you that he would come after you, and you assumed he would not.

You froze for a few seconds, then turned around, not wanting him to see your expression.You secretly wiped away your tears, how embarrassing it was to be seen by him.

"Why are you here..."

"It happens to come to the rooftop to blow air, can't you?"

"... Even if you're lying at a time like this, you should say 'I'm worried about you', right?"

"Indeed." Tosi said, "If you want to deceive someone, it's best to say what the other person wants to hear at the moment."

On the other hand, he didn't say such things to you directly, so he was really worried about you.

"Thank you for your coat. I'm going back to my room first." It's a pity that your mind is full of other things, and you didn't understand the meaning of what Tuosi said for a while.

"Why?"

"...I'm sorry for affecting your mood on the rooftop."

"I didn't say that, nor did I think about it, Chacha."

Your mind is messed up.

What is the difference between Xiancao's "like" for you and your "like" for Fei Jia?

It's not the love of mutual gratification. At best, it's a deep affection. At worst, it's just self-satisfaction.It seems that everything in the world can be divided into good and bad like this, and you always attribute other people's actions and ideas to the good side, and part of yourself to the bad side.

If Mr. Dostoevsky had never appeared, you would not have such troubles at all.It’s great to like paper people, because they don’t exist, so they won’t be rejected or hated. Anyway, they are just dreams in their minds, and they can let those fantasies develop in the direction they like.Just like what it said in "Crime and Punishment": Whoever can deceive himself the most can live the happiest life.

But why does Mr. Dostoevsky have any special affection for you?

It is precisely because he is as high as a god, treats everything rationally, and only wants to realize his dream for the sake of the world, that you will love him; it is because of this that he is full of personal charm, and compared with his ideal, his own How dirty your own selfish desires are.

You are just one number among the humans he loves equally.

A god who loves all of these equally will not love an individual.

You feel sorry for the fairy grass, but there is nothing you can do.

The world is full of impotence.

Although the stories you love always emphasize that "as long as you work hard, you can change your destiny", but in fact, what can small human beings resist?What can be changed?As long as he works hard, can he convince himself that he likes Xiancao and associates with him?Is it possible to stop liking Mr. Dostoevsky just by trying?Could my parents have survived that accident as long as my past self worked hard?Can Mr. Dostoevsky also like him if he works hard?

How is this possible? ? ?

If this is the case, how can there be so many tragedies in the world?How could there be couples who were forced to break up, how could there be patients who could not get back, how could someone choose to take their own lives by themselves?

Precisely because it is impossible, fictional stories are full of this possibility, because people all expect to change something.

But can't.

The person in front of you will not respond to yourself.

He won't do it.

...and you don't want him to.

Ah, so sad.

There were only sad emotions left in my mind, as if it was about to crack.

How do you communicate these ideas to him?Impossible to say it.

He will definitely misunderstand you and attribute the reason you want to avoid him to the jelly.No, he is a demon who can see through everything, maybe he knows your thoughts?

……you do not know.

you do not know any think.

This is not a comic.

Even in the comics you never get to know what's really going on under his exterior.

His height, his blood type, his personal hobbies.

His thoughts, his past, how he sees you.

His ability, the reason he wants to achieve his goal.

You don't know anything, you don't know him at all.

What you love is nothing but a fantasy in your head.

You couldn't hold back your tears anymore, and squatted on the ground covering your face and sobbing.In the end, you still exposed your emotions to him, which you have obviously been avoiding all along.

You cry, thinking that you must have caused him trouble, that you are weak and useless, just a cowardly human being.

Get away, please get out of here, Mr. Dostoevsky.

You pray like this in your heart.

You don't want people to see you cry, and the reason you choose to come to the rooftop instead of your room is because your room is full of Fedya kisses, and you don't even know how to deal with it.

Please, get out of here.

As long as he does, the anticipation and idle fantasies and worries in your heart will become unified into pain and flow away with tears.

But he didn't.

It may be pity, it may be concern, or it may be love... As for what kind of emotion it is, who knows?No one has only one emotion in his heart.

In short, Dostoevsky did not choose to leave here.

He reaches out to you, grabs your wrist, and pulls you up from the ground.

Then he hugged you.

He pressed your little head against his chest, ran along your hair, and comforted you.

He didn't say anything.

In the silent night, only your sobbing can be heard.

You hugged him with trembling hands.

You stayed in his arms for a long, long time.

The things that bothered you seemed to disappear with it.

You can only feel his body temperature.

Just as warm as the body temperature of an ordinary human being.

You like it very much.

Either him, or his embrace.

...God, if this is a dream, let it be a dream that never wakes up.

Dostoevsky didn't urge you, but let you hold him silently.His coat is on you, but the winter here is nothing compared to Russia, he doesn't feel cold.

"Calm down?" he asked you long after you had stopped crying.

"...I'm not restless or crying," you replied.

"........." If you say no, then you don't have it.

"Staying here will catch a cold, Chacha."

"Hmm..." You let go of your hand reluctantly, and you are embarrassed to ask why Tuo Si hugged you.

"Although it's a bit late, it's not worth much compared to the gift just now..." Dosi deliberately used "the gift just now" instead of "a gift from me" or "a gift from your friend." Present", he picked up the Christmas present that was prepared for you on the table, and handed it to you.

Since I said Merry Christmas just now, this sentence is also omitted this time: "You can take it apart and have a look, Chacha."

"Thank you, thank you...!" You happily took the gift he prepared for you, and carefully unwrapped it.

It's a plush hat.

It was exactly the same as the one he used to wear.

However, the one that Tuo Si often wears is quite old, and this one is new.

"Is it really for me?" You hold the hat in both hands and look at him in disbelief.

"Of course, I don't think I'm that unkind."

He took the hat from your hand, put it on for you without authorization, stroked your little head and said, "Have you got the same model as Fedya Kiss from Dostoevsky?"

This generation is the generation of meal replacement.

You blushed, not knowing how to describe your current mood, only your heart was bumping like a deer, and it took a long time before you could say a word:

"The generation... the generation is here..."

……

You carried the hat that Tosi gave you back to your room, because the bathroom on the first floor was already occupied, so you had to go to the bathroom on the second floor to take a shower.

After getting out of the negative emotions, you start to struggle again: Mr. Dostoevsky, you are fucking crazy!Why are you so nice to me!What if I misunderstood! ! !

As a result, when you passed by Tosi's room after taking a shower, you accidentally overheard his conversation with Gogol in the room.

"Mr. Gogol, what do you think of her?"

"...Ah, it's really rare that Tuo Sijun would ask me such a question. No matter how you think about it, I am the most unsuitable person to talk about this topic."

"Don't worry about it, it's just for reference."

"Hey—well, after all, it's a rare question asked by Mr. Tuo Si, so let me answer it seriously."

"Please say."

"Although what Tuo Sijun asked was how I view Chacha. But what I actually want to ask is, how do you view the relationship between you and her? In my opinion, Chacha and Tuo Sijun are really real to some extent. It's a good match. If you miss this opportunity, there is nothing better, Tuo Sijun, don't you also like her very much?"

"……………………"

You are startled.

The brain is blank.

You didn't dare to listen, and naturally you didn't hear their next conversation, so you rushed downstairs in a hurry.

At night, you tossed and turned with the hat that Tuo Si gave you.

His body is still reminiscing about the hug on the rooftop, and his mind is full of conversations with Gogol.

It wasn't until early morning that you fell asleep.

...and then, when you open your eyes again, you find yourself in a strange place.

You've been in this situation before, at Osamu Dazai's house.

But this time, there wasn't even a ceiling.

You are frozen awake.

The coat on your body is not enough to resist the cold wave here, but you have no choice but to put the hat in your arms on your head.

You are in an alley.

You rush out of the alley and realize this isn't Japan.

You look at the signs on the street that look like emojis and realize that this is Russia.

Ruined.

As a Two-dimensional, you can speak some Japanese, but you don’t know anything about Russian, you only know a few basic “hello” and “thank you”, and you only learned it for Fei Jia’s sake.

I don't know if this is the world of Wenhao Xiaoyegou, or another world.

You are enduring the cold on this strange street, walking aimlessly, alone and helpless, trying to find a warmer place to stay.

Or you want to try to see if you can meet the only person you can rely on in this foreign country.

...However, the God of Fate who manages the world doesn't seem to want to see you.

Seeing you as a weak girl walking alone on the street, gangsters blocked your way.

They look malicious, speak a language you don't understand, grab your hand and try to take you away by force.

"Please let me go...!"

It's useless even if you shout like that. There are not many people on the street, and even fewer can understand Chinese.

"... help me, Mr. Dostoevsky."

Just when you are about to be taken away by the gangsters, you pray like this.

You can obviously gamble on your "supernatural power" and call out to the Fusangshen who guard you.

But you don't.

Your first reaction is to call out to the gods who belong only to you.

then.

The gangsters in front of them fell down one by one.

The snow under your feet is gradually stained red with blood.

In front of your line of sight, appeared the figure you are most familiar with——

Although the God of Destiny who manages the world doesn't seem to like you, the God who belongs only to you seems to favor you.

"Mr. Dostoevsky!"

You called out his name and trot towards him, wanting to hug him like you did last night.

But he didn't give you such a chance.

His answer was words colder than the severe Russian winter——

"……Who are you?"

"Why do you know my name?"

The author has something to say:

There will be a confession, but it is still in the future (doge

Soon, really soon (slip away

感谢在2020-02-2622:06:22~2020-02-2721:31:21期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel who threw the mine: Mu 1;

Thanks to the little angels of the irrigation nutrient solution: 5 bottles of Camilla; 3 bottles of Do Not Disturb the Cat Demon; 2 bottles of Mu;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!