novelraw Chapter 20 Extracting Stand-up Comedy Proficiency!
Chapter 20 Extracting Stand-up Comedy Proficiency!
Behind the monitor.
The assistant director suddenly grabbed the walkie-talkie.
"Sever the barrage pool. The technical department should ban this account immediately."
It's too late.
Among the millions of online viewers, countless fingers have already taken screenshots.
Within minutes, all Weibo backend data turned red.
The hashtags #Song Ze's medical student ex-girlfriend# and #Female college student surnamed Xia# are approaching the top of the trending search list with thousands of searches per second.
The circular sofa in the living room of the villa.
Zhang Hao straightened his back and his Adam's apple bobbed.
He turned his face to the blind spot of the camera, and a very short, muffled sound came from his chest.
That was a laugh that couldn't be held back.
Lin Shishi's eyelids twitched.
She turned her head, her gaze passing over the other guests and landing on Song Ze.
Shen Xiaoyuan sat diagonally behind Song Ze, her eyes shining, silently repeating a name.
"Xia what, Xia what..."
Song Ze made a move.
He crossed his left leg over his right, changing to a more comfortable position.
I reached my finger into the bottom of the potato chip bag, pinched out a plain potato chip, and popped it into my mouth.
"Click."
The morning live broadcast has ended.
The assistant director raised a tin megaphone and announced a 15-minute intermission.
The red light on the main camera goes out, and the scene cuts to an empty shot.
Except for the ambient sound system on the ceiling, which was still running, the oppressive feeling in the living room suddenly decreased.
The cameramen unloaded their equipment and carried the battery boxes to the backyard.
Zhang Hao immediately got up, went to the water dispenser to get water, and carried the paper cup to the corridor.
Shen Xiaoyuan couldn't hold back any longer.
She bent over and moved slowly along the edge of the sofa, settling down less than ten centimeters from Song Ze.
"Why."
She gently nudged Song Ze's arm with the back of her hand.
"Is that girl surnamed Xia that was mentioned in the comments real?"
The volume was kept extremely low, and the palm was loosely covered around the mouth.
Song Ze picked up the can of cola, tilted his head back, and took a big gulp.
What's there to hide?
It takes only a mouth to spread rumors, but it takes a lot of legwork to clear one's name.
His PR efforts to clarify the situation have long since ceased, and his next plan is clear: accumulate enough liquidated damages, retire from the entertainment industry, and heavily invest in Bitcoin and new energy.
The entire internet has already decided that he's a scumbag, so it doesn't matter if his reputation gets any worse.
The more negative information a person has, the more leverage they can gain during contract termination negotiations.
As long as the money is right, the script can be written however you like.
Song Ze put down the can of cola and nodded calmly.
"It's true, her name is Xia Ziming."
His tone was completely flat.
Shen Xiaoyuan choked and opened her mouth.
So you're just admitting it?
Which celebrity in the industry whose career has collapsed doesn't stubbornly hold on to the end, issuing lawyer's letters and hiring online trolls to whitewash their image?
Does anyone actually confront someone like that face-to-face?
Song Ze raised his right hand and started counting on his fingers one by one.
"Actually, it's not just Xia Ziming."
"There's another one named Xu Yuyu."
"Another one named Zhang Yilin."
He turned his head and looked directly at Shen Xiaoyuan.
"Do you want to add them on WeChat? I can send it to you directly, and you can create a group chat."
Shen Xiaoyuan's mind went completely blank.
She stared at Song Ze's face, completely speechless.
Shanghai Starry Entertainment Building.
The internal phone on Zhang Juan's desk rang.
"Director Zhang, something's happened."
The voice of Xiao Li from the public relations department came through the receiver.
"Song Ze's collar microphone was not turned off. His conversation with Shen Xiaoyuan was streamed to the internet word for word along with the ambient sound."
Zhang Juan swept the documents off the table.
Xiao Li is still shouting.
"There are over a million people listening to the live stream even though the screen is black. It's trending on social media now."
The live stream screen went completely black.
The white bullet comments were piled up so densely that they were impenetrable.
"Holy crap, that's blatantly scummy."
"Does this guy really not treat us like family? He gave us his whole name?"
"Three romantic relationships, and he even sends his ex-girlfriend's WeChat to the female guest. What a talent."
"I find Zhang Hao's fabricated persona fake, but Song Ze's self-destructive act is the first I've ever seen."
"I've gone from hating him to liking him; at least he's not pretending."
It was exactly 1 p.m.
The live stream of "Heartbeat Signal" has been reconnected to the main screen.
Two million viewers flooded in instantly.
The assistant director, standing beside the camera, coughed lightly.
"Dear teachers, the next part is today's core task: a random draw for a two-person career experience."
The large LCD screen in the center of the living room lit up.
The names and professional labels of the eight guests began to scroll rapidly.
Shen Xiaoyuan walked to the front of the stage and pressed the red stop button.
The left side of the screen freezes on: a stand-up comedian.
The name of the partner on the right continues to flash.
The lights flashed, and two Chinese characters with a red background and bold special effect appeared in the center of the screen.
"Song Ze".
The air in the living room seemed to freeze for a moment.
Zhang Hao could no longer control himself. He pressed the back of his hand to his mouth, turned his back, and his shoulders heaved violently.
Stand-up comedy.
It's ridiculous to have a celebrity with a terrible reputation and a history of multiple failed relationships put on a stand-up comedy show.
Those in the industry know that stand-up comedy relies on public appeal.
If the audience has even the slightest aversion to you, your jokes simply won't resonate.
Song Ze would be an easy target if he went up there.
The assistant director read out the mission details in a businesslike manner.
"At 3 PM, the two teachers will head to the 'Xiaoguo' stand-up comedy club to perform a 15-minute open mic show in front of 200 ticketed audience members and millions of online viewers. There is no rehearsal time for this segment, so please set off immediately."
Twenty minutes later.
The black van drove smoothly on the overpass.
In the back seat of the carriage, Shen Xiaoyuan held a stack of densely marked A4 papers, a layer of fine sweat appearing on her forehead.
She slapped the paper on the small table in front of Song Ze.
"Keep the setup short and the jokes fast. This is the most basic stand-up comedy structure. It sets the premise and limits, so you can't improvise."
She circled several lines of text heavily with a red pen.
"There's also the surge of emotion, and the pauses in your breathing. The moment I pause, you absolutely must catch that line; don't let it fizzle out."
She spoke extremely fast, without taking a breath.
Song Ze leaned back in the leather seat, his eyes closed.
This girl is an oddball.
People in the industry are shrewd and calculating, so Zhang Hao kept his distance from him, while Wen Ziliang secretly handed him a knife.
Meanwhile, in the train carriage where the entire network was broadcasting live, Shen Xiaoyuan, risking being ridiculed by everyone, was still trying to help him.
He remembered this favor.
But, well, it's stand-up comedy—
Song Ze closed his eyes, and the corners of his mouth curved slightly.
After retiring from the entertainment industry in his previous life, he did all sorts of things to pay off his debts.
One year, he worked as a live-streaming e-commerce host on a live-streaming platform.
Every day, he tells jokes, makes self-deprecating jokes, plays with memes, and responds to memes in front of hundreds of thousands of viewers.
If the audience criticizes him, he criticizes himself in return; if the audience laughs at him, he performs even more energetically.
Over the years, he's become thicker-skinned than anyone else and more steady in his rhythm than anyone else.
Just then.
A light blue system panel popped up in my mind, with several lines of white information appearing.
[Target "Shen Xiaoyuan" has been detected displaying her superb stand-up comedy skills.]
[Host's current stand-up comedy skill level: Beginner.]
The target skill and the host skill are no more than two levels apart, meeting the extraction restriction conditions.
Song Ze did not hesitate.
extract.
[Command confirmed.]
[Successfully extracted target proficiency: 410 points.]
A warm current rushed straight to the cerebral cortex.
Stage positioning, saving the day from awkward silences, deconstructing comedy, and breaking down language logic—all these experiences that require countless sleepless nights to hone are compressed into physical data in this one second and forcefully hammered into muscle memory.
The panel has been refreshed.
Name: Song Ze
[Stand-up Comedy: Excellent (430/1000)]
A sense of satisfaction welled up in Song Ze's heart.
The skills that others have honed through countless nights can be taken for granted after just a few lines of dialogue.
This cheat is extremely overpowered.
With a solid foundation in stand-up comedy, a fifteen-minute open mic performance is a piece of cake.
Song Ze opened his eyes.
The wheels rubbed against the ground, and the car came to a stop.
The director in the front row turned around and opened the car door.
"Teachers, we've arrived at Xiaoguo Club."