Future Pet Shop

Chapter 99: The Bear

Pfft! ’Now *that’s* the true nature of a foodie! The moment she saw something to eat, she completely forgot about getting it on.’ Shen Yibin almost burst out laughing at the sight. Poor Hah’Er was just left hanging there all alone.

The expressions on Professor Wu Gui and the others were even more exaggerated. To Shen Yibin, it felt like being back in college, when a bunch of guys from several dorms would crowd around a computer to watch a "movie." Just when the foreplay was almost over and the main event was about to start, the lead actress would get a phone call and leave. How were they supposed to deal with that?

"Who gave her the apple?" Professor Wu Gui was furious. Hah’Er had been on the verge of sealing the deal, but then this unexpected accident happened. From the look of things, he could have managed just fine without an apple to build rapport. Now this extra preparation had completely backfired.

"Let’s just wait and see. Maybe things will be fine after she finishes the apple." The others could only console Professor Wu Gui, staring intently as the female panda gnawed on the apple.

"Preparing an apple is one thing, but couldn’t they have gotten a smaller one? Why get such a big one?" After waiting for ages, the female panda still hadn’t finished the apple. Someone couldn’t help but mutter under their breath. The poor kid who had suggested the idea yesterday looked like he wanted to bury his head in his pants; he was too ashamed to face anyone.

The apple was finally finished. Hah’Er sidled up to her again, but unfortunately, whatever mood had just been building had long since dissipated while she was eating. Hah’Er had to start working on building the mood all over again, and the crowd could only watch on helplessly.

Fortunately, Hah’Er hadn’t watched those "instructional videos" over the past two days for nothing. He clumsily used every trick in the book and finally managed to get the female panda on her back. A cheer instantly erupted in the monitoring room.

’Was it really that big of a deal?’ Even their mating was getting this much attention. Looking at the expressions on Professor Wu Gui and the others, they were more excited than soccer fans watching their team score a last-minute winner in the World Cup final. They looked like they were about to jump on the tables and cheer.

"Sigh. Don’t be fooled by the number of panda cubs born each year. Most of them are the product of artificial insemination; naturally conceived cubs are incredibly rare. Most giant pandas capable of reproducing have issues like low sperm motility, but Hah’Er doesn’t have any of those problems. He’s in much better physical condition than the other giant pandas at the base. If he can successfully impregnate these females, the cubs will definitely be healthier than the others. This is a huge boon for our base!" Professor Wu Gui explained, seeing that Shen Yibin didn’t seem to understand.

Now Shen Yibin understood. A healthier Hah’Er naturally impregnating these females would produce healthier cubs. When they grew up, they would pass on their superior genes to the next generation. This was like adding an insurance policy to the propagation of the panda species. No wonder they were so excited.

"One minute! He’s passed the one-minute mark! Hah’Er’s still going!" The researchers were completely shameless. Not only were they peeping on Hah’Er getting it on, they were even timing him!

"A giant panda’s mating session usually lasts between thirty seconds and five minutes. From the looks of it, Hah’Er’s performance is pretty good so far." Professor Wu Gui was doing a great job playing the role of a color commentator.

"Two minutes! I remember that pair a few days ago only lasted for one minute and twenty seconds, right?" The time on the big screen kept ticking up as the researchers stared intently at Hah’Er and the timer.

’Hah’Er, you can’t be a quick-draw artist! If word gets out, I’ll lose face too! Huh? Why am I even thinking that? It’s so weird. A pet’s short performance doesn’t mean its owner is the same way.’

Five minutes passed, and Hah’Er’s movements were still powerful and rhythmic. This had already surpassed the duration of an average panda. Shen Yibin couldn’t help but ask, "What’s the longest time you’ve recorded?"

"That would be seven minutes and forty-five seconds." Someone next to him had already pulled up the relevant news article. Shen Yibin leaned over to take a look, and when he did, he couldn’t help but let out a snort of laughter.

What kind of shameless media outlet was this? They actually compared the panda’s mating time to that of American men, claiming that the giant panda Lulu’s stamina had already surpassed the average for American males, because a typical male from New Mexico barely lasted over seven minutes.

Genetically modified pandas from the twenty-second century were truly incredible. In one fell swoop, Hah’Er shattered the record set by the giant panda Lulu, more than doubling it and finally concluding at 18 minutes and 15 seconds. A new world record was thus born under Hah’Er’s "gun."

Shen Yibin’s face was also beaming with pride. ’Hmm, if I can raise such a badass panda, then its owner must be even more amazing, have even more stamina, be even more...’ However, he seemed to have forgotten that he was still single.

"Pay attention to the follow-up work! Immediately retrieve the female panda and take her to the prepared area for careful observation and care," Professor Wu Gui immediately commanded. Captive giant pandas have long faced three major challenges: inducing estrus, successful mating and conception, and ensuring cub survival. This was only the first of many hurdles.

After the long, arduous battle, the female panda was too exhausted to even get up and had to be carried away by the staff. Hah’Er, on the other hand, seemed completely fine. After the staff left, he started energetically romping around again.

"Looking at him now, maybe we can try sending in the second female?" Professor Wu Gui said, stroking his chin. Healthy male giant pandas often mate with multiple females during the breeding season. Professor Wu Gui had originally planned to have Hah’Er make his second attempt tomorrow, but now it seemed they could move the schedule up.

’WAAAH! Coach, I want to keep swapping out girls like Hah’Er too!’ Shen Yibin was so envious he was about to cry.

Before long, the second female panda was sent in. This time, they had finally learned their lesson and didn’t prepare an apple. As a result, it took much less time for him to seal the deal.

Hah’Er’s performance was just as vigorous. Although he didn’t break his previous record, he still surpassed the limits of an average panda, drawing another round of cheers from the monitoring room.

"Send in the third female!" If Shen Yibin had been a little envious before, now he just felt his legs go weak. ’One or two is one thing, but if they keep sending them in like this, even a man of iron would be squeezed dry!’

After the third female, Hah’Er took a short break. The staff brought him a sumptuous lunch. In the afternoon, yet another female panda was sent in. It looked like Professor Wu Gui and his team were determined to make Hah’Er the "Seven-Times-a-Night Bear"!