Future Pet Shop

Chapter 69: Hah’Er’s Sticker Pack

"We want to see the panda! We want to see the panda!" The live audience started chanting along. The way Hah’Er came out to pick up the apples just now was simply off-the-charts cute, wasn’t it?

President Yang felt his world spinning out of control again. ’Is anyone even going to let me sing?’ He cast a pleading look at the host, who quickly contacted the director through his earpiece.

"Have the tech department cut to a small window in the bottom-right corner and keep a camera on that panda the whole time." The director made a swift decision. ’Ratings are king; who cares if your performance is affected?’ "Tell what’s-his-name to hurry up and sing. Get him off the stage as soon as he’s done and bring on the next one. He’s already about to go over his time."

"The Brightest Star in the Night Sky, can you hear the loneliness and sighs from the heart of the one looking up..." The instrumental backing started, and President Yang had no choice but to sing along. But after that interruption, he’d completely lost his momentum. His voice was dry and listless, and he even made a rookie mistake like singing off-key.

Not that he needed to worry too much. Whether in the live audience or in front of their screens, almost no one was paying attention to him. Everyone’s focus was on Hah’Er, who was currently hugging an apple and chomping away on it, nodding repeatedly as if praising its deliciousness.

"Now I’m hungry just watching. I’m gonna go see if there are any apples in the fridge." The focus of the bullet comments was entirely on the small window.

"My knees have given out. Who on earth is that guy on the main platform? He not only has a sharp-tongued parrot like Cheeky, but also such a cute Panda. The envy is unreal."

"I think he’s a pet shop owner." Someone soon recognized Shen Yibin.

"Asking for a friend: does the owner have a girlfriend? I’m twenty-one, 5’9", a D-cup, and skilled in dancing and making desserts. Need the owner’s contact info!"

"Me, me, me! I’m also applying to be the owner’s girlfriend! My standards aren’t high, just let me pet the panda every day."

"If, by some misfortune, the owner already has a girlfriend, may I ask if he’d mind swapping for a new one? And if he does mind, would he mind adding another one?"

"Owner, are you into guys? I just want to be able to pet the Panda, that’s all."

The bullet comments were getting more and more shameless, but the ratings were soaring. Li Yinchen and his team were even starting to consider whether they should give the audience a function to make the small window full-screen.

"Mmm!" After munching for a while, Hah’Er noticed Shen Yibin’s hands were still empty. It scratched its head, picked another apple from the fruit basket, wiped it with the thick pads of its paws, and then offered it to Shen Yibin.

This little guy was so composed. Tens of thousands of people were watching live, yet it was acting just like it was at home. Shen Yibin was too embarrassed to eat in front of so many people. He rubbed Hah’Er’s head. "Good boy, you eat it. I’m not hungry right now."

"AHHHHHH! Unhand that Panda and let me do it!"

"The most envy-inducing person of the century has appeared. I kind of want to strangle the owner, what should I do?"

"Such a cute Panda offers you an apple and you don’t eat it! Don’t you know you’ll break the Panda’s heart?!"

"Can you give me that apple? If not, the peel is fine too!"

"I’ll be happy with just the stem."

"Give me the core!" The tone of the bullet comments shifted rapidly. Anyone who didn’t know the context might have thought they’d stumbled into a refugee camp.

By this time, President Yang’s song was over. He looked anxiously at Cheeky. ’Dammit,’ he thought, ’it’s all that Panda’s fault. I couldn’t even perform at thirty percent of my usual level.’

"Forget it, I can’t even be bothered to comment." Cheeky spread its wings helplessly. Never mind getting Cheeky’s approval—even the audience barely clapped. President Yang’s fate was clearly sealed. "Next."

The contestants waiting backstage saw all of this unfold. At first, they had been worried that their performance slots were too late in the show, fearing that others would win Cheeky’s approval before them. But now, it seemed like going on later was a blessing. In this atmosphere, it was basically a death sentence for whoever went on stage next.

’Director, can I switch my slot?’ The second contestant, who had paid a hefty price for his early spot, looked pitifully at the organizers. But the situation no longer allowed for any changes, and he had to brace himself and walk onto the stage.

"AHAHAHAHA!" The moment he stepped on stage, he was greeted by a roar of laughter from the audience.

’What’s going on? What’s happening?’ Had his makeup smeared? Was his fly down? Contestant Number Two panicked, frantically looking himself over to see what was wrong.

’It’s not you, look over there.’ The host quickly gestured with his eyes. He followed the host’s gaze and saw Hah’Er on the main platform, resting its chin on the table. Its big, fluffy, round head turned from left to right on the tabletop, once again sending the audience into fits of laughter.

’I knew it!’ Contestant Number Two wanted to cry. Just like President Yang, he had been completely forgotten by the audience.

"Screenshot saved. I’m going to make a sticker pack of Hah’Er the Panda. How about captioning that last one with ’Sooo bored’?"

"Love the sticker pack idea, but I think ’You amateurs’ would be a better caption."

"You can add the one where it offered the apple, too. I have the screenshot if you missed it."

"I demand you include the head-patting one! That’s the cutest one, okay?"

No one in the bullet comments was paying any attention to the poor Contestant Number Two. The chat had taken an unexpected turn, with the audience now discussing Hah’Er-themed sticker packs.

Perhaps feeling a bit bored, Hah’Er stretched its paws out and placed them flat on the table, tilting its head as it looked at Shen Yibin.

"Instantly screenshotted. This one can be called ’Lost the Will to Live.’"

"’Lost the Will to Live,’ plus a million! When the sticker pack is done, I’m definitely downloading it."

"Me too! Hey, what’s the ID of the person making the sticker pack? Add me as a friend!"

"Hey, everyone shut up! The Panda’s moving again! Get ready to screenshot!"

Hah’Er had completely stolen the show. Even Cheeky, when it wasn’t talking, was no match for the panda. This situation was entirely beyond the organizers’ expectations.

’Wasn’t this supposed to be a talent show? How did it turn into the Panda’s one-man show? This isn’t what we agreed on at all, is it?’ Li Yinchen and the show’s director stared at each other, completely at a loss.

The ratings had already blown past their target, but this had nothing to do with the talent show’s theme. ’Should we change things? If so, how?’

Meanwhile, Contestant Number Two was still standing on stage in a daze. Letting this go on... probably wasn’t a good idea.