novelraw Chapter 81
Chapter 81
The following spring, my father suddenly appeared at the gate of my elementary school.
The man was tall, thin and imposing, wearing a black windbreaker with a mechanical watch on his hand, standing there with a gentle smile on his face all the time.
At that time, it was the peak time for children to leave school. Among the parents who came to pick up the students, many young women quietly looked at Comrade Lu, but Comrade Lu had no interest in them.
In his 24-year pampered career, this was the first time he met me at the school gate as an elder.
Therefore, it was no surprise that I recognized the big tall man at the first sight in the crowd. Comrade Lu was holding a balloon of a small tabby cat in his hand at that time, and he looked very silly.
He hasn't been back for several years, and he doesn't know what I look like, let alone a child who looks different every day.
Comrade Lu couldn't recognize me, his eyes just dazedly moved back and forth among a bunch of highly similar turnip heads.
The moment I saw him, I felt cold all over.
This irresponsible man who never cares about his family has the face to come back.
I lowered my head and pretended not to see anything, quietly followed the crowd and squeezed past him.
That day I went back to my aunt's house alone, and the old lady was sitting on a small stool with a happy smile and counting the money. I just glanced at it and knew it was not a small sum.
It was several times thicker than the paper bag my mother gave her, and I felt very upset immediately.
Not only has my father been here, but this greedy old lady must have sold me without hesitation.
My aunt was very surprised to see me coming back alone. She asked me if I had seen a tall, thin man in a black coat, and she said that was my father.
I shook my head calmly, then went into the room to do my homework.
When it was dark, my aunt brought the man back. The guy stood at the gate of the school and waited until the huge campus was empty, only to be disappointed to find that I had already left.
My father pushed open the door of my room, and the two of us looked at each other calmly for a few seconds, and we had to discover a strange fact.
We didn't like each other, but the only thing that connected us apart from strong blood was the fact that both men were deeply in love with the same woman.
That is my mother.
Many years later, my father told me that he had always thought that the child born to him and Xinxin (my mother) would be beautiful and sensible, especially if educated by a gentle person like my mother, he would be very well-behaved.
But after actually seeing each other face to face, he was very disappointed.
I'm pretty, but I'm not cute and sensible at all.
The eyes are not only fierce but also stubborn, without the innocence and longing that other children should have, not like a child but like a little adult.
I can still remember what he complained very clearly, with a bit of disgust on his face, and I stood in front of him and sneered.
The two don't look like father and son, but rather enemies they haven't seen for many years.
In fact, baby, you understand me. My temper was smelly and hard when I was young. I didn't say back that I owed all of this to you. I'm afraid it's because the gods have pity on this old man and less blows.
Before my mother got sick, I was the child he thought and said in his heart. After my mother got sick, the child who was good-looking but good-for-nothing disappeared.
It disappeared suddenly and quickly, irreversibly destroyed.
I also don't know why the family of three who were supposed to be in harmony suddenly took various forked paths and had their own destinations.
Is it my father's irresponsibility?But he left us in the first place in order to be able to marry my mother in a legitimate way, so he went away for many years without hearing from him.
Is it because of my mother's weakness?She is just an illiterate who knows nothing. In that remote place, a little spittle can drown people.
I have been thinking about it for more than ten years and I have not come up with a reason, but I suddenly discovered that fate makes you go east and you dare not go west.
But now, this conclusion has been overturned by me.
Because of your appearance, let me know that it is not impossible to snatch someone from Lord Yan's hands again and again.
Destiny is an excuse for the weak, and an excuse for the strong.
But I didn't understand at that time, so I did a lot of stupid things.
These are things for later, let me tell you slowly.
My grandmother couldn't survive the second winter, and spring was just around the corner.She called me to the bed and told me to take care of my mother.
I tearfully nodded.
So my mother and I were taken to the big city by my father. At first, my mother concealed her madness very well. She seemed to regain her sanity and returned to the smiling and gentle rural girl before.
But this good phenomenon only lasted less than two months, and her madness reappeared.
Because Comrade Lu couldn't go home on time due to work and entertainment, my mother was in self-repression and punishment for a long time.
There was less and less communication between the two, so that my mother couldn't find the opportunity to confess to my father about the bad things that had happened before.
Their relationship was in jeopardy, and my father, a careless man, not only didn't see it, he used it to make fun of my mother's shortcomings.
For example, apart from cooking, there are no advantages.
Stiff and shy, not understanding the world, and even won't please him.
Especially after the family hired a tutor and a nanny, my mother became the most redundant person in the family, and became an empty ghost.
The only one who can accompany her is me.
I was her center of gravity then, her beloved son.
But I'm also the only one who knows her secret, let alone Tong Yan Wuji.
I don't know who she listened to, and she started to stare at me suspiciously all day long, for fear that I would complain to my father or talk too much.
The relationship between the two was as cold as water. She didn't know if my father, who was born in a scholarly family, could accept a wife with such filth.
Long-standing anxiety forced her to relapse into psychosis.
After my father was intimidated by her ferocious appearance with a fruit peeling knife, he immediately realized that something was wrong and sent her to the hospital.
It was a kind act but my mother held a grudge.
People who are mentally ill never feel that they are sick. It is everyone else who is sick, but definitely not themselves.
And they are very misbehaving, won't take the medicine on time and will secretly throw away the medicine.
It's like the wayward behavior of Yang Yang who always hides his unpalatable calcium tablets everywhere.
My mother's illness afflicted the family, and my father spent more time with her, and even couldn't control me and sent me directly to a friend's house.
That was the girl he liked at first sight, the wife who took a lot of effort to marry back home, he was sorry and no one could be sorry for her.
It's a pity that it was too late by then, and my mother didn't care anymore.
She just wants to die.
The day my mother died, my father had a complete breakdown.
A woman's collapse can still cry loudly, but a man's collapse is visible to the naked eye.
Aging in behavior and mentality.
He said he wanted to raise me well, but I hated him too.
When I was in middle school, I always liked to stay at your house, not only because it was warm, but also because I needed a lot of company.
You and I will sit under the covers and play video games excitedly until we are tired.
Then we lay down together and chatted intimately. You talked a lot about yourself and other people, interesting and vivid, and sunny.
And besides listening silently, looking back at my life, I have nothing to say.
Anything but life is death, anything but evil is dirty.
We lie together but are in two different worlds, the superficial world is connected but the inner world talks differently.
I always doubt myself, why would you be my friend, or a good friend?
I don't like to laugh with a sullen and fierce face, I like quiet and remote corners, and you live happily and freely.
You said that you like my calmness, neither arrogance nor impetuosity, and it will be very comfortable to stand by my side.
But that's just my surface, I'm more vulnerable and lonely inside than anyone else.
So when Xiaoyu praised me generously, I smiled mockingly.
I thought you really didn't understand me, we couldn't be friends.That was my only thought at the time.
But it turns out that we are a match made in heaven, you are the angel sent by heaven to save me, and I am the devil who specially saves angels.
Is this love story... very earthy? (tangled)
Yang Yang actually said disgusting!Oh my god!My son gave me a hard crit!
Heartache!
(Xiaoyu's comment: cough, cough, no soil, no soil, for your beloved mua! (*╯3╰))
There was a time when a follower named Shao Han appeared beside you. You told me two or three things about him, but I only remembered one thing firmly.
He also lost his mother and was an illegitimate child whose father did not love him.
In such an aristocratic school, it is rare for a teenager to experience the same experience as me.
Not only did I remember the boy's name, but I also remembered his face when we met by chance.
I don't know why at that time I actually found similarities in a completely different person.
That is, I, like him, don't like to laugh and often have a sullen face.
If I knew at that time that Shao Han didn't like to laugh because he was worried about money every day, and I was thinking about the past in grief.
How dumbfounding it should be, I used my imagination to draw closer to each other, and developed sympathy.
So much so that when Shao Han appeared in front of me with a strong purpose, I didn't notice it.
He was even complacent that he finally found a little partner who had a common experience, thinking that two people who were alone in the dark could be comforted by exchanging grief.
I don't know that this operation can't be created out of nothing, hiding light in the dark.
Shao Han is really good at grasping people's weaknesses and making use of them, for example.
Xiaoyu, you are too soft-hearted and naive to want to befriend everyone, so Shao Han easily cheated you for several semesters of tuition fees.
Another example is me, my fear of mental illness and the shadow of death have been shrouded for too long, and I will compromise and bow my head no matter what.
I forgot to tell you that the old lady passed away when I was in the third grade. It was a surprise that I got up in the winter night and fell into the toilet and fell into the pit. I couldn’t get up. When I found out the next morning, I was frozen. .
My aunt died of cancer when I was in the fifth grade, and it can almost be said that she followed the old lady.
In this world, she has nothing to worry about. The early death of her husband and son left her with too much sorrow, and the death of the old lady was the last straw that crushed her.
My relatives passed away one after another, and some people called me a born evil star who only suppresses relatives.
Even distant relatives are not spared.
I not only heard these words, but also believed them.
So when the second elder of the Lu family died in a car accident, I didn't have much reaction.
Because I didn't kiss, and because I believed in my own words to restrain my loved ones.
I was rebellious and quarreled with my father every day for fear that my relationship with me would harm him, but I was also afraid that I would lose my only family member somewhere I could not see.
It was really frightening, painful and exhausting.
Shao Han knew this, and he was right.
I was so scared that my brain went blank and I felt dizzy when I saw the blood.
I can't think of calling the police to find a teacher, and I don't know what to do.So much so that he nodded without understanding what he said.
Before you praised me for being calm and calm, it was bullshit. I was 16 years old at the time, and I was still as fragile as a three-year-old child.
It's not as good as the current sheep and sheep who are more sensible. If there is an accident, they will call 110, and if they are sick, they will call 120.
I didn't know what kind of stupid thing I had done until after the fear passed.
Although I know that you at this moment will definitely say that it doesn't matter, this matter is over, but I will always remember that lesson.
Almost missing you scares me so much, I can't imagine what would have happened if I hadn't rescued you before the icy lake swallowed you up.
I am 35 years old this year, and Yang Yang is also six or seven years old, and you are still standing by my side.
This feeling is really good, even if the past is not as good as the wind, but the future can be expected to have you.