novelraw Chapter 99 : So Do You Want Him Steamed or in Soup?
Chapter 99 : So Do You Want Him Steamed or in Soup?
Chapter 99: So Do You Want Him Steamed or in Soup?
Trying to steal a chicken only to lose the rice, their kidney deficiency wasn’t cured, but instead their prostate had developed problems. At this moment, the two of them only felt life was pitch black.
Where was the promised “life is a vast wilderness”? It really was a pitfall with every step.
“Alright, Professor, I understand, don’t worry, I definitely won’t let them eat it again.
Okay, you rest early too.”
After hanging up the phone, Lin Mo instantly looked at the two fools with anger boiling inside. That thing was medicine, could it just be eaten randomly?
Fortunately, this time Professor Li prescribed medicine that was for nourishing and regulating the body, and since the two of them didn’t take much—one only drank a single pouch—there wasn’t a big problem.
“You two, aren’t you both supposed to have iron kidneys? Now you’re acting like soft-footed shrimps?
That was my medicine. Professor Li clearly said to take it after meals and avoid spicy food. You don’t understand anything, just stuffing it into your mouths, and now my medicine is short by a whole day’s dose.”
Facing his ridicule, the twin stars of the library looked especially guilty.
“Well, um, we had just finished eating,” Sichuan Girl whispered.
Lin Mo: .
“Get lost to the side, does it matter whether you had eaten? Come on, aren’t both of you supposed to have prostate problems, urine splitting into forks, even three forks—why don’t you perform it for me?”
At these words, the twin stars glanced at each other, then one slid on his knees while the other hugged Lin Mo’s leg.
“Old Mo, you won’t tell anyone, right? My pee doesn’t actually split!”
“Please, I don’t want others to know I have prostate problems. If you don’t promise, we won’t get up!”
The two of them started wailing. After all, their performance just now was really embarrassing—thinking about it was already socially fatal.
“What splitting, whose prostate problem are you talking about?”
Miss Yuan’s voice suddenly appeared. The two on the floor immediately turned pale.
“Well, it’s obvious, isn’t it?”
Lin Mo, seeing Miss Yuan appear, spoke with some schadenfreude.
The two on the ground stiffly turned their necks toward the doorway.
“Yuan-jie… when did you get here?” Sichuan Girl’s smile looked worse than crying.
Miss Yuan’s big eyes narrowed slightly: “Just arrived. I heard things like splitting and prostates. Also—what are you two doing?”
The two of them: .
Five minutes later, Miss Yuan was rolling back and forth on the sofa clutching her stomach in laughter.
“Oh my, is your daily life always this entertaining? If I had known earlier, I would have come over sooner. Also, you two didn’t even ask what the medicine actually did? You just heard it was for kidney health and drank it?” Miss Yuan pointed at the emptied medicine pouches on the table.
Hearing her ridicule, the guilty two didn’t dare say a single word.
Seeing this, Yuan Meng turned her fire toward him: “I knew it, you brat running so fast—it was because of kidney deficiency!”
“Ahem, don’t talk nonsense. This was just regular body nourishment.” Lin Mo felt a bit guilty, then quickly changed the subject: “Right, did you finish setting everything up upstairs?”
Sure enough, Yuan Meng was distracted: “Of course. Come, come, come with me upstairs and check out my secret base.”
Saying that, she stood up, leading the three of them upstairs in a rush.
Lin Mo was also curious about what she had arranged. After all, since the first day when they viewed the house together, he hadn’t paid attention to Yuan Meng’s setup over the past two days, except for a quick stop at noon today.
Soon, the three took the elevator to Miss Yuan’s floor.
“Dun-dun-dun-dun! This is my newest secret base!”
As Miss Yuan opened the door, their eyes were instantly drawn. The originally well-furnished apartment now had many “second dimension” elements added.
The living room was filled with various anime merchandise. Even the wallpaper on the walls was of Yongjie’s female characters.
In the center of the living room was a billiard table. On the wall hung rows of cues. In two corners near the balcony stood full-scale armor models: Iron Man and Imperial Armor, East and West combined.
“Wow~~ this is way too cool!”
“Holy crap, just in a few days you turned it into this? This is literally my dream room!”
Sichuan Girl and Wang Chu were completely stunned, not knowing where to look, mouths hanging open. Since they studied computer science and knew a bit of programming, “C language” phrases were spilling out like free of charge.
“Pretty efficient, Yuan-jie,” Lin Mo gave a thumbs-up while they were coding.
“Small matter. I hired professionals for the renovation, gave them a few requirements, and they delivered the plan overnight. Work started the next day. The cost was just a bit more money, not~ worth~ mentioning~” Miss Yuan stood with her hands on her hips, proudly.
Lin Mo: .
All the precautions in the world, yet she still managed to pull off such a big display. It felt like being force-fed caviar—expensive, but salty as hell.
“Everyone can come over to my place to hang out when free, play billiards. I also set up a card room.”
She pushed open a door to reveal a mahjong table, the whole room decorated with mahjong hall elements, complete with sofa and water dispenser.
“And of course, an e-sports room.”
As the others gasped, Miss Yuan opened another door—inside were five computers, cyberpunk décor, and flashy lights.
Each computer was high-end, worth tens of thousands. Sichuan Girl stared in envy, tears of admiration practically dripping from his mouth.
His own newly-upgraded rig was nothing compared to this. It was obscenely luxurious.
“Why are there five computers? Aren’t we four people?” Lin Mo asked.
Miss Yuan rolled her eyes: “How can it be an e-sports room without five linked computers? If Zhang Wei has free time, he can join too.
That way, the five of us can play Valorant, League, CSGO, even co-op games.
Four people can play PUBG or mahjong. Three can do a heist. Two can play billiards. I’m simply a genius.
Oh, and those two armors in the living room? They’re wearable, not models.”
As soon as she finished, Sichuan Girl and Wang Chu shot forward like giant rats.
“Godmother, let me play, please!!”
“Me too!!”
Yuan Meng: .
Lin Mo: .
Soon, Iron Man was battling a plump Imperial Knight in the living room.
Lin Mo slapped his forehead. If someone saw that, they’d think the armor hid a mutant beast inside.
“Isn’t this dangerous?” Lin Mo asked.
Miss Yuan looked utterly calm, recording the classic moment on her phone.
“Isn’t this fun? Don’t worry, I’ve got something prepared for you too.”
“For me? What is it?” Lin Mo was puzzled.
The next second, he was pushed into a room.
Yuan Meng pointed to a tea set: “Look at this tea room. I even snuck tea from my dad’s stash. From now on, tea-brewing is your responsibility, hahahaha!”
Lin Mo: .
With food, drinks, playmates, and even a personal tea master—it was paradise.
While Yuan Meng laughed like a mad Uchiha, meanwhile, at Cousin Su He’s place—
“Seriously, I must’ve had eight lifetimes of bad luck. Working like a cow at the office, then still having to decoct medicine for you after hours. Don’t you have an aunt at home?”
Su He set a bowl of pitch-black Chinese medicine on the table and complained.
“Who asked my dear Su Su to be so skillful, both in the kitchen and the living room? Whoever marries you in the future will be so lucky,” Liu Rushuang shamelessly flattered her.
Su He scoffed: “Cut it out. So tell me, why did you come here again this time? Didn’t Yuan Hua already leave?”
Taking a sip of the medicine, Liu Rushuang’s delicate features twisted. It proved that no matter how beautiful a girl was, drinking Chinese medicine ruined all expression control.
“Ugh~ so bitter!” After grimacing, she continued: “Of course I came because you owe me!”
“I owe you? Me? Say that again?” Su He instantly raised her voice.
What did she mean by “owe”? She herself was just a workhorse. Even if she was a small manager, she was still just a slightly higher-level workhorse. And this big boss dared say she owed her?
“Don’t get worked up. You know I get cramps every time I’m on my period, right?”
Su He nodded. Old problem. Back in school, Liu Rushuang was like this, and she had taken care of her more than once.
“Today I went to see a Chinese doctor. Guess who I saw?”
“Could it be that scumbag from Medical University who first chased you, then me? I didn’t agree to him, and I never did anything wrong!” Su He asked, puzzled.
Liu Rushuang: “Ahem… let’s not bring up the past, makes me sound like a heartless playgirl.
It was Xiao Mo! And he was even wearing a white coat, your cousin in uniform—ahhh~~~ it’s such a different vibe!”
As she spoke, her toes curled inward, looking very excited.
“You’re not feverish, are you? My cousin isn’t even a doctor, why would he wear a white coat?” Su He touched her forehead.
“Get lost, you’re the one with a fever. I’m serious.”
Then Liu Rushuang recounted what had happened at the hospital today.
“Anyway, that’s how it went. Your dear cousin had his hands all over me today. You’re his cousin—what do you say should be done about this?”
Su He: .
She couldn’t understand how her cousin had become a student of a Chinese medicine professor and even learned massage. Clearly this woman was just here to provoke her. Obviously he had only done massage, but the way she put it, it sounded like he’d taken huge liberties.
“Pfft, easy enough. I’ll call him now. Tomorrow, you two go get your marriage license. You toss in one or two small goals as dowry. Then the day after, I’ll have my cousin divorce you and split half your fortune. How about that?” Su He rolled her eyes.
Liu Rushuang: “Screw you, do you think I’m stupid?”
“Then what? What do you even want? You planning to eat him alive?”
Hearing this, Liu Rushuang clapped her hands: “Pretty much. You know what the old Chinese doctor—Xiao Mo’s teacher—said today?”
Su He: ???
“He said my condition isn’t hard to treat, but it needs a medicinal guide.”
“A guide? My cousin?” Su He was confused, but Liu Rushuang’s look suggested that was exactly it.
Liu Rushuang nodded, smiling wickedly: “The doctor said, men are women’s tonic. Uniforms… such great nourishment!
And look at my situation. Even with medicine, my stomach still hurts. Your cousin’s massage was incredibly effective today, his hands so warm, like a furnace—top-grade tonic! Could you really bear to let me suffer, Su Su~~”
Su He: .
“So, do you want him steamed, or in soup? Or maybe let him bleed you a little?”
Liu Rushuang: (╯‵□′)╯︵┻━┻
“I’ll eat him raw!!!”