Everyone Wants Me Dead: The Villain Lord's Survival Diary

Chapter 22 – Regarding the matter of My Lord being kidnapped by the Minotaur

"Have you heard? Our lord has recruited a group of minotaurs standing three meters tall! Just the axe in their hands is as tall as a person!" (°ー°〃)

"Hey! Did you know? Our lord is patrolling the castle with a group of minotaurs, and the axe in the minotaur's hand is three meters long!" (○´･д･)ﾉ

"By the gods! Guess what I heard? A group of super minotaurs, with arms three meters long, have tied our lord to their axe!" w(ﾟДﾟ)w

...

In the training grounds of Winterfell Keep, the fully recovered Claremont was meticulously polishing his longsword.

This sword was like a woman; if not maintained regularly, it would become dull and far less dazzling than it was at first.

Claremont maintained his equipment daily, oiling them, a habit he had kept for decades, which had saved his life more than once on the battlefield.

Suddenly, a castle guard came tumbling and crawling to Claremont, shouting in a panic:

"Not good, Lord Claremont! The lord has been kidnapped by a group of minotaurs as tall as a small building! They even chopped the lord into three pieces and hung him on an axe over three meters high! Σ(っ °Д °;)っ"

"What?!" Σ(｀д′*ノ)ノ

Claremont jolted, almost dropping his knight's sword onto his foot.

"Is what you said true?"

"That's what everyone in the castle district is saying, but I don't know the specifics."

The guard's expression was hesitant, speaking with uncertainty.

Claremont looked at the guard with a dark gaze. He wasn't an idiot and quickly realized the truth.

Winterfell Keep, though not small, wasn't so large that a group of building-sized creatures could invade unnoticed.

Besides, was Master Sylvie and he, both Earth Knights, just air?

Claremont quickly calmed down, knowing there must be some misunderstanding, and the truth couldn't be as absurd as the guard claimed.

"Take me there!" Claremont commanded in a low voice.

"Huh?"

"Huh, what? If something really happened to the lord, do you think you'd survive? Lead the way, quickly!"

Claremont kicked the guard's backside, and the castle guard scrambled up from the ground, obediently leading Claremont towards the castle district.

...

In the castle's back garden, a group of minotaur warriors was being curiously observed by the castle guards.

To them, the minotaur warriors were overwhelmingly mighty and tall. Even knowing they were allies, most guards felt a bit intimidated.

However, some guards didn't think so, especially the knights under Sylvie. To them, having such powerful comrades on the battlefield meant a higher chance of survival.

So they quickly struck up a conversation with the minotaur warriors.

"Hey! Big guy, can I touch your muscles? They look, um... explosive!"

"Of course! Human friend, you have a keen eye. I'm the strongest minotaur in our tribe!"

"Maybe we can have a contest to see who can pee farther!"

"Hahaha..."

...

In contrast to the cheerful atmosphere over there, Sylvie was angrily reprimanding his newly appointed castle guard captain, Goodbye.

Goodbye stood dejectedly in front of Sylvie, staring at his toes, sweat beading on his forehead.

As the captain of the castle guards, he realized something was wrong when he discovered the rampant rumors.

Sure enough, before he could shut his subordinates' mouths, the lord had already come over, giving him a thorough scolding.

"... On my way here, I've heard no less than ten versions. Now I've been chopped into three pieces by minotaur warriors. If I reach the training grounds, will I have been cooked into soup by then? Hmm?"

"This is because you didn't restrain your soldiers properly. I sentence you to wash your soldiers' underwear and socks for a month. Do you have any objections?"

Goodbye turned pale at the words. His subordinates were a bunch of sweaty dogs, wearing the same socks and underwear for six days straight, only washing them on the seventh day.

The smell was undoubtedly eye-watering, and the worst part was, he had over thirty subordinates!

But could he refuse the lord's orders? He couldn't.

So Goodbye could only nod with a mournful face and say:

"I accept your punishment, my lord."

The surrounding guards erupted in joyful noise. They wouldn't have to wash their stinky socks and underwear for a month! They didn't notice Goodbye's iron-blue face and cruel expression.

How Goodbye would deal with these guards in future training remains to be seen, as Claremont had already arrived, led by a guard.

When he saw Sylvie surrounded by the crowd, even though he had always believed the lord wouldn't be harmed, he still breathed a sigh of relief. He then turned his inquisitive gaze to the group of minotaur warriors chatting with the guards.

"Hey! Claremont, you're just in time. Let me introduce you to our new partners."

Sylvie stood beside Bane Bloodhoof, waving at Claremont.

"This is Bane Bloodhoof, a powerful minotaur chieftain. These are his followers, and they will now fight for Eaglehold."

Sylvie then pointed at Claremont and said to Bane Bloodhoof:

"This is Claremont, my royal guard, an experienced Earth Knight. I'm sure you'll get along well!"

Claremont looked in awe at the mighty minotaur chieftain before him, exclaiming:

"Welcome to Eaglehold. From now on, we'll be comrades fighting side by side."

In truth, Claremont was more curious about where the lord had recruited these formidable minotaur warriors and how he had brought them into Winterfell Keep without anyone noticing.

"The lord is becoming more and more unfathomable," Claremont silently praised in his heart, his admiration for Sylvie reaching its peak.

"Thank you, mighty warrior! You can always trust the minotaurs of the Bloodhoof Clan to guard your back!"

Bane Bloodhoof politely responded to the old knight before him, and the minotaur warriors behind him shouted "Hoo-ha" in unison.

He looked down at Claremont with respect and battle spirit in his eyes. From this old knight, who barely reached his waist, Bane Bloodhoof sensed an incredible strength.

...

After settling the minotaurs, Sylvie returned to the castle district, not forgetting that the little maid Loli was still unconscious in his room.

As Sylvie pushed open his room door, he found Loli already awake, anxiously trying to get out of bed.

Hearing the noise, Loli trembled like a frightened little animal, instinctively trying to shrink back.

But when she saw it was Sylvie who entered, her expression immediately turned to joy, quickly replaced by panic.

"Master!"

Loli, without even putting on her shoes, stumbled into Sylvie's arms, clutching his arm with a fearful expression.

"Master! There are monsters in the castle, big and terrifying monsters. Loli only reaches their knees!"

"Let's escape, master. If we encounter monsters on the way, throw Loli to them to eat, and then you can take the chance to run!"

Loli gestured as she spoke, trying to pull Sylvie out, but he pulled her back into his embrace.

Sylvie couldn't help but smile at the anxious girl, his heart filled with warmth and gratitude.

Even in danger, Loli's first thought was of him.

Many people talk about loyalty, but when it comes down to it, they might push you from behind.

Everything that happened showed Sylvie his place in Loli's heart.

He looked at Loli's luscious red lips, feeling a tickle in his heart, and pretended to scare her:

"I don't know if there are monsters in the castle, but right now, I'm the monster, and I'm going to eat you!"

"Mm—"

Loli was stunned, unable to speak before Sylvie wrapped an arm around her waist, lowering his head to kiss her lips.

Loli, soft and pliant, was held in Sylvie's arms, her mind blank, without any struggle, her face blushing, and soon her whole body turned a light shade of red.

Her expression was somewhat bewildered, her eyes seductive and dreamy as she looked at Sylvie, her slender arms instinctively wrapping around his neck.

She was willing.

Gradually, the girl overcame her initial awkwardness, standing on tiptoe, lifting her face to respond to Sylvie's kiss, her arms tightening as if trying to meld herself into Sylvie's body.