novelraw Chapter 57 : Chapter 57
Chapter 57 : Chapter 57
Chapter 57: Upset (2)
For the past week.
Elaine came by at the drop of a hat.
Literally, it was really ‘at the drop of a hat.’
As if to prove her words that she would live however she damn well pleased, Elaine followed me around.
“Unfortunately, I didn't have a dream last night. Let's go get some breakfast.”
Elaine would visit the annex in the morning.
“Kubel’s skill is astounding no matter how many times I experience it. Let's go get some lunch.”
She came for lunch, and she came for dinner.
“Let's have a drink. I think it helps with dreaming. Ah, ask Kubel for some late-night snacks.”
She even came at night.
Or she was with me from morning until night.
For me, it was a daily routine that hadn't changed much.
Elaine or Ellen, they were the same person in the end.
There was no reason to refuse.
It meant that much trust had been built.
It also reminded me of my past life.
‘What’s the problem?’
Across the table, Ellen’s eyes were blazing with anger.
I could not understand that fury.
“Why on earth are you angry?”
“I told you. I’m asking why you didn’t come out.”
Asking why I didn't come out for a drink.
Elaine had emptied five bottles by herself just last night.
I had waited until she finished them all.
“I drank with the Grand Heir. For the entire past week.”
“Exactly. You didn’t drink with me.”
Ah.
‘So that’s the concept.’
Only then did I start to get a grasp of it.
It was only from my perspective that they were one and the same; for Ellen, it wasn't.
She had to get angry like this, even if it was just for show.
Whatever the truth, from Ellen's perspective, she hadn't met me for a week.
“You have to understand. How could I refuse when the Grand Heir asked me to drink?”
“Why can’t you. You even talk back to His Highness the Grand Duke.”
“……?”
“You should have refused and come out.”
It was definitely a concept, yet the emotion I felt from her was strangely intense.
‘Wasn’t giving in once supposed to be the end of it?’
Ellen was acting not like she was playing a role, but like someone who was genuinely angry.
“Ah, it must be because of this.”
I pointed to Patern, tucked into my belt.
Come to think of it, we hadn't properly settled the score yet.
It was because the person I had been meeting was Elaine, not Ellen.
“What are you talking about. That’s your share. What have you been listening to all this time?”
Ellen was straightforward. And at the same time, persistent.
I stroked my chin.
“Alright. Let's sort this out. You're angry because I didn't drink with you. Is that right?”
“Yes.”
“Is that really all?”
“What else is there.”
Ellen’s eyes narrowed.
“Nothing. I understand.”
In truth, I didn't.
‘Why that?’
I turned my head and met Kubel’s eyes.
Apologize, apologize. Kubel mouthed the words.
“Sorry?”
“Kubel, you can leave.”
As I recited the word, Ellen kicked Kubel out.
It was the first time I realized that large frame could walk without a sound.
“We agreed to meet regularly. Every day, if possible.”
“Didn’t you say you didn't want every day?”
“That was only at the beginning.”
The main reason was that I could distinguish Mages.
With me, Ellen didn't have to suspect if there were Mages around.
“Do you know how irritated I was?”
It meant she was tired of suspecting her surroundings for the past week.
To my ears, it was a clear lie.
I could guarantee Elaine didn't have the time for that.
“I’m sorry.”
“You’re only saying that because Kubel told you to.”
“……”
“It’s true, isn’t it?”
Ellen’s gaze became even more menacing.
I avoided her gaze and sank into thought.
First, I had to humor her.
In this relationship, I was the one with more to lose.
It had been that way since I regressed.
‘Why was she irritated?’
Suspecting her surroundings was a lie, but the irritation was real.
Ellen was showing her irritation right in front of me.
‘To avoid suspicion that they’re the same person?’
If that was the case, she had achieved it long ago.
I stubbornly refused to try and connect Elaine and Ellen.
In front of Elaine, I didn't even bring up Ellen.
‘What is the right answer.’
There must be an answer she wanted.
‘She said it wasn't Patern. The apology was wrong too. Ah, does she mean we should stop meeting when she's Elaine?’
But Elaine was the one who had been visiting.
“Must be nice for you, now that the Grand Heir is cozying up to you.”
“That may be true, but you’re better.”
“What are you talking about.”
“I’m serious.”
I was more comfortable with Ellen than Elaine.
I wasn't yet on terms with Elaine to speak so freely.
‘Ah.’
Only then did I realize.
It was for the same reason as mine.
The point wasn't the alcohol, but the meeting.
‘She's also more comfortable as Ellen.’
Words she couldn't say as Elaine, she could say indirectly as Ellen.
That must have been what was frustrating Ellen.
“You say you like me better, but then why didn’t you come to see me?”
“I was going to.”
“But you didn’t.”
“I was afraid the Grand Heir would harm me.”
“What kind of bullshit is that.”
Ellen furrowed her brow.
Just now, that Ellen was Elaine.
‘This is difficult.’
But I had a hunch.
I realized why the earlier apology was rejected. It was because of Kubel. There was no sincerity in it.
“I’m sorry.”
Ellen's gaze turned peculiar.
She looked flustered herself.
Now that she received an apology, she looked as if she didn't know why she should be the one receiving it in the first place.
Or maybe she didn't know why she was angry to begin with.
“I made a mistake. Please let it slide just this once.”
“……”
“I won’t do it again.”
“……The Grand Heir will probably ask you to drink tonight too, you know?”
“I’ll refuse.”
Ellen’s arms uncrossed.
“You’ll get hurt if you do that.”
“I’ll take the hit, I guess.”
Ellen’s expression twitched.
She seemed happy to be able to hit me legally.
“Just tell her to hit me lightly.”
“……I’ll try to tell her.”
It was clear her anger had subsided.
Her defiant posture had relaxed and was now turned toward me.
“I’m thinking of following the smoke from the Watchtower. Not all the way, just a few steps.”
“……Ha, is that why you came to see me?”
Ellen crossed her arms again.
“You were going to tell that to the Grand Heir too, right? Since you were looking for the Grand Heir at first?”
Ellen seemed to have overheard what I said to Kubel outside. She had good ears.
“Ah, that’s not it.”
I said with confidence.
“I was planning to tell this to you.”
“Why. Go with the Grand Heir you like so much.”
“I told you, I like you better.”
“……”
“I’m not that close with the Grand Heir. How could I trust her with my front or my back?”
It was a mistake, I realized as I said it.
Just before, when I blamed Elaine, Ellen had furrowed her brow.
It was because they were the same person.
I had to side with both Ellen and Elaine at the same time.
“Ah, it’s not that I don’t trust the Grand Heir……”
“You trust me more?”
“Exactly.”
Contrary to my expectation, Ellen’s response was soft.
She had been angry just a moment ago.
‘What’s different?’
In the North, trust was important.
And violence was a daily routine.
‘I would think saying we’re not close would be worse than saying I’m afraid she’ll harm me.’
I decided to let it be.
It seemed like a problem I couldn't solve.
“But you can’t.”
“Why?”
“You said you used up the bead.”
I now had no way to heal.
“It was something I didn't have in the first place.”
“It’s dangerous.”
“The one who cherishes my body the most is me. I have no intention of overdoing it.”
“……”
At those words, Ellen stared at me intently.
Her expression was peculiar. It looked like she was displeased, but also happy.
‘It must be because it’s dangerous. But she wants to go.’
The smoke from the Watchtower was connected to the second wall.
It was the most dangerous place in the Boundary.
One wrong move and Serzila would lose its only heir.
“Just a few steps. If I think it’s not right, I’ll turn back immediately.”
Of course, that wouldn't happen.
Even if it did, I would make it not happen. The most important thing to me was Elaine.
“……When are we going.”
“Let’s go tomorrow, we need to have a drink today.”
“Okay.”
As if she had never been angry, the corners of Ellen’s mouth twitched into a smile.
‘Easy, yet difficult.’
Then and now, Elaine was that kind of person.
* * *
As I was manifesting fire in the annex, Kubel came to visit.
It was around the time the sun had set.
“Did you sort things out?”
Kubel’s face was bright as he said so.
It was likely thanks to Ellen’s anger having subsided.
“Where is Ellen?”
“She went to pick up Shura.”
In the afternoons, Shura would go to play in the alley where Ellen was the boss.
Ellen was responsible for her coming and going.
“Thanks to you, it was sorted out well.”
Kubel looked at me silently.
He seemed to want to hear the details.
“It was nothing much. She seemed to be upset that we couldn't meet for a while.”
Kubel nodded.
Come to think of it, Kubel already knew the answer. That's why he had told me to apologize.
“……Is that all?”
“Is there more?”
I tilted my head.
“Ah, she must have been irritated too. Since Ellen had to constantly suspect her surroundings while I was gone.”
I added, matching Kubel’s perspective.
To him, Elaine and Ellen were different people.
“I don’t think that’s it.”
But Kubel let out a sigh.
“Lady Ellen was probably upset about the fact that Harad didn't look for her.”
“Isn't that what I just said?”
“It’s different.”
Kubel spoke as if guessing.
It wasn't because he was unsure, but as a courtesy to me.
“Not because you couldn't meet, but because you didn't look for her.”
The two were similar, yet different.
“Did you perhaps also talk about the Grand Heir and Lady Ellen?”
“No. I didn’t.”
I didn't bother to mention it.
Because if I touched upon it, Elaine might become cautious.
“She was probably upset about that too.”
I didn't refute it.
It was a reason I couldn't explain to Kubel.
“It wouldn't have mattered that you couldn't meet. If only you had looked for Lady Ellen.”
I thought from Kubel's perspective.
The perspective of someone who doesn't know Elaine and Ellen are the same person.
“Indeed. That could be it. It would look like I was friendly with the collateral branch, then jumped at the direct heir when she approached.”
It might have looked that way in Kubel’s eyes.
“In your eyes, I must have looked like an opportunist.”
“……”
Kubel’s eyes grew cold.
“Am I wrong?”
“Yes. You are not. I know well that Harad is not that kind of person.”
“Then why are you looking at me with those eyes?”
“Lady Ellen…… Ah.”
Kubel suddenly turned his head.
The smoke spread around the annex was reacting. It meant Ellen and Shura had arrived.
“You should go. I understand enough.”
“……”
* * *
‘The Grand Heir will probably ask you to drink tonight too, you know?’
It was just as Ellen had predicted.
As soon as the sun set, Elaine burst open the door of the annex.
The hinges screamed, but they didn't break. It meant her anger had completely subsided.
“Why have you come.”
As Ellen had warned, I was waiting for Elaine on the first floor.
Elaine, who spotted me, smiled brightly.
“I came for a drink. A rare one.”
Elaine shook a liquor bottle bigger than her head.
“I’m sorry, but I have a prior engagement.”
“A prior engagement? With whom?”
Elaine slightly knitted her brows.
The expression was incredibly natural.
“I have arranged to drink with Ellen.”
“Cancel it.”
Elaine said in a feigned, resolute tone.
“If I say I came to see you, Ellen will understand.”
I couldn't fall for this.
That was a trap.
“I don’t want to.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to.”
“……”
Elaine’s face stiffened.
I prepared to be hit.
Since I had told her beforehand, she would hit me lightly.
Still, Innate Strength was Innate Strength…
“I understand.”
A fist didn't fly at me.
Elaine immediately turned around and left the annex area with quick steps.
“……?”
I waited for a moment before leaving the annex.
The drinking appointment was at the Snow Leopard’s Footprint.
Ellen had decided so at some point.
Ellen was the type of person who had to smoke when she drank.
It was something that shouldn't be done in Kubel's annex where Shura was.
“You’re late.”
“I’m sorry.”
I had deliberately given her time to disguise herself, but Ellen was already waiting inside.
Not at the bar, but at a table in the corner.
“It’s unusual for you not to be at the bar.”
“Because I brought a rare liquor.”
Ellen said, and then placed the liquor bottle she had hidden on the floor onto the table.
It was a different liquor from the one Elaine had brought earlier.
“A rare liquor?”
“Yes. It's a liquor only Serzila can drink.”
The Serzila family had enjoyed liquor for generations.
There was a liquor that only Serzila could drink.
“Is it okay for you to give something like that to me?”
“Of course, it's a secret. I'm specially giving it only to you.”
Ellen pulled out the cork with her pincer-like fingers.
“Consider it an honor.”
Ellen smiled like a rascal and poured the liquor.
The aroma of the liquor was extremely strong. Yet it was also sweet.
It was a liquor I remembered.
-I am specially giving this only to you. Consider it an honor.
It was the liquor we drank together when Elaine ascended to the position of Grand Duke.
-This is the liquor I love the most.
I looked at Ellen.
Ellen, who had downed a glass, was grinning. I looked at that face a little longer.
It was the same face as the Elaine I saw before I died, but the smile it held was still different.
“Is this a liquor you love?”
“What? Not to that extent.”
For some reason, that made me feel upset.
I paused with the glass at my lips.
The fragrance that had been swirling in my mouth lingered heavily.
‘Upset?’
Why?