novelraw Chapter 210 : Chapter 210
Chapter 210 : Chapter 210
Chapter 210: Folly (1)
"It would be good to think about it."
Ellen chewed over Benus's words.
It wasn't simply about what would happen when her identity was discovered, but about thinking of what came after.
When Elaine became Grand Duke.
How would Ellen disappear?
And what kind of relationship would she have with Harad after becoming Grand Duke?
"I don't want to."
Ellen didn't want to think about it.
If thinking produced results just because you were told to think, why would the word "worry" even exist? The world doesn't go according to plan in the first place.
Ellen just wanted to go out and drink.
But she had to endure. At the earliest, she could go out tomorrow. Because Benus had decided so.
Benus was still Benus.
Ellen didn't know how Harad had persuaded her, but she wasn't fully cooked yet.
From what Ellen could sense, she seemed more like a preliminary roast.
Of course, even that was an enormous achievement.
Benus Serzila was a strict person.
In the old days, Benus would have opposed Harad through gritted teeth.
Ellen would have pretended to give in reluctantly.
"The future."
Ellen ruminated on Benus's words.
She didn't want to, and it wasn't her nature to borrow worries, but... she sometimes felt that she shouldn't just let things be.
"I don't want to be as ignorant as that woman."
Because the Elaine in the dream was ignorant.
It must be because Harad was more incompetent than in reality.
In the dream, Harad often learned from Elaine. In reality, it was the opposite. Harad led Ellen.
Harad did something called thinking.
Sometimes so much and so deeply that it seemed excessive.
Among all that abundant and deep thinking, Ellen must be included too.
Which meant Harad would think about Ellen's future for her.
Ellen liked that. It was a joyful thing.
But she couldn't just be happy about it.
If there was receiving, there had to be giving too.
Since Harad thought about Ellen's future, Ellen had to think about Harad's future.
Ellen was born a woman.
But she lived a man's life. The identity of Ellen had only come into existence a few years ago.
Ellen didn't know the reason why it had to be that way.
"His Grace the Grand Duke does not engage in folly."
But it was just as Benus said.
That great Serzila never engaged in folly.
The Imperial Palace he had once destroyed surely had a reason befitting such an act.
"It is an order given by His Grace the Grand Duke, and simultaneously a policy for your sake."
So even though Ellen didn't know why, and though it was frustrating, she had to follow it.
...Harad.
He made her forget all of those things.
There was no reason to live as a man. There was no need to be perfect. The North would love her as she was, and if someone disliked her, she could just leave them be.
There was no reason to forcibly win them over.
Harad said the basis for that was Grand Duke Aratus.
He did not wish for his daughter to be perfect. He didn't want her to live as a man for her entire life either.
It was her father who had encouraged Ellen.
So it didn't matter.
Even if Harad noticed, nothing would change.
No. Rather, Ellen had been thinking it would be better. There would be no need to be pretentious. Didn't it mean that no matter what state she was in, she could at least be genuine with Harad?
"This isn't it."
Ellen shook her head.
It wasn't time to think about when she was discovered, but to think about the future.
"If I disappear."
If only Elaine remained.
Harad would naturally take care of Elaine.
She was confident she could take care of him better than anyone.
The Grand Heir, the next Grand Duke.
According to the dream, Elaine would become Grand Duke in eight and a half years.
"But I'll be a man."
But the Elaine at that time was a man.
Like in the dream.
"Ah."
Only then did Ellen understand that woman.
"That's why."
That's why in the dream, Harad had been an escort knight.
From that woman's perspective, that must have been the best option.
Because she had only met Harad when she was Elaine.
"Because I didn't reveal I was a woman."
The dream made her think of "what if."
That woman's situation was one of the worst outcomes Ellen didn't want to think about.
"Keep him as an escort too?"
Like that woman?
Ellen's face scrunched up harshly.
She didn't want to become like that woman.
She didn't want to place Harad in a mere escort position.
Not because Harad was too precious, but because of Ellen's greed.
Grand Duke and escort.
That woman had experienced that relationship too.
Ellen had absolutely no intention of remaining in just such a relationship.
Ellen wanted to go further than that.
Not out of competitiveness, but when she thought of Harad, she naturally wanted to.
Only the first kiss had been stolen.
She had absolutely no intention of having anything more stolen.
Then what should she do?
"...Can't I just tell him?"
Ellen murmured as if possessed.
Why was she even worrying about this?
She had already suspected he knew, and she had been planning to accept it, hadn't she?
In the end, it turned out he hadn't found out, but that didn't mean there was a reason to keep hiding it.
Harad had said lying was also an ability.
If he was upset and hurt, she just had to treat him well until he healed.
Continuing to hide it after being pricked like this would hurt him more.
"Right?"
If she revealed it, there would be no need to worry about how to make Ellen disappear.
There would be no reason to keep him only as an escort like that woman.
Harad would know that Elaine was Ellen anyway.
There was no way Harad wouldn't understand.
She had been in a position where she had to approach Elaine and make her dream. In the meantime, her interest had just shifted somewhat to Ellen.
But Ellen and Elaine were actually one person?
From Harad's perspective, he would welcome it if anything, there was no reason to dislike it...
"Why was I even worrying about this?"
She felt like her mind had snapped awake.
In Harad's terms, it was a kind of enlightenment.
"I should tell him."
Ellen immediately got up.
"Tell him what?"
"That I'm the Grand Heir. To Harad."
Ellen answered reflexively.
Then she tilted her head.
Benus was standing at the door.
"When did you come?"
"From 'I don't want to.'"
Which meant she had been there almost from the beginning.
"I didn't sense your presence."
She must have failed to notice it. Because she was thinking.
"I shouldn't think from now on."
As expected, using her head didn't suit her constitution.
That was Harad's role.
"Weren't you going to meet Keunappa?"
"I went and came back."
Benus, who said this, seemed somewhat surprised.
Because Ellen had called him Keunappa instead of His Grace the Grand Duke.
When in this form, Ellen usually didn't address Grand Duke Aratus so casually.
"You came back quickly. It's been a while since you returned."
"He's an inherently taciturn person, isn't he?"
Ellen started to nod then stopped.
"He wasn't like that with Harad."
"...You know how to touch a person's nerves."
Benus spoke as if grinding her teeth.
Ellen thought of the Mages of the Otherworld.
"He's not like that with people he's close to. Probably?"
Harad's tongue usually only stabbed enemies.
Or when he was displeased. Benus must have been the latter.
"Daughter, your tongue seems to be the same. You'll go and tell him?"
When she just found out he hadn't discovered it?
Benus reproached her.
"Yes. I think that would be better."
"..."
"Harad probably won't care. He might even be happy."
Ellen spoke as if speculating, but she was half certain.
"Is that not allowed?"
It wouldn't be allowed.
It wasn't a question asked with expectation.
"Would it be allowed?"
As expected.
"But I won't stop you."
Benus stepped aside.
"...?"
Did she eat something wrong?
Ellen approached the door cautiously while tilting her head.
"Why would I stop you? The one who made you Elaine is someone else."
Which meant even if she left this door, she would be stopped by Grand Duke Aratus anyway.
"Daughter, it is surely for your sake."
There was definitely a reason she was made into a man.
"But because he doesn't tell you the reason, it feels closer to oppression than protection. You might feel that way."
Ellen nodded.
It was a frustration she hadn't felt before meeting Harad.
"So if you want to do it, do it."
"Really?"
"Yes. If you can."
"Ah."
Benus smiled bitterly.
If Ellen wanted to reveal the truth to Harad, she would have to overcome Grand Duke Aratus.
It was impossible.
Knowing this, Benus had readily stepped aside.
"That's petty, Mom."
"If you felt that way, you're still immature. Pointing out a child's recklessness is also a parent's job."
It was true.
Doing as one pleased and recklessness were different things.
Harad had already pointed this out to her several times. She had also been harshly dealt with by the Otherworld a few times.
"Fine. I won't tell him."
It was still reckless.
Ellen thought of Grand Duke Aratus. Then she thought of that woman in the dream. The comparison wasn't difficult. The latter won.
"Eight years?"
At about that age, Elaine became Grand Duke.
She surpassed Grand Duke Aratus.
So Ellen would do so someday too.
Because she had the same talent as that woman.
Also, Ellen grew stronger the more she dreamed.
It was a good thing.
But it wasn't entirely a good thing.
The more she did, the closer she came to that woman.
Ellen had to become stronger faster than that woman.
Which meant she couldn't waste eight years like that woman.
She was catching up to some extent.
Ellen was confident that the twenty-one-year-old Elaine in reality would be stronger than the twenty-one-year-old woman in the dream.
Because this side used the expedient method of dreams.
"Five years? Four years?"
"...?"
"I'll make it four years from now."
"Make what?"
"The day I tell Harad."
Four years from now.
Ellen set Grand Duke Aratus as her goal for now.
* * *
If you achieved merit, anything would be granted.
That was both an advantage and disadvantage of the North. If there was no merit to convert into a reward, one became penniless.
The Haunted House and Forbest of the lingering flames subjugated this time.
Those were clear merits.
But only Harad, who had regressed, knew their true value.
Therefore, that merit was offset by the advance payment of Magical studies for the Barrier Knights.
Harad's Annex had been wrecked by fire.
There were several more annexes in the Inner Fortress, but entering them meant he had to achieve new merit.
"How petty."
Grand Duke Aratus was pettier than expected.
Until the repairs on the Annex were finished, he had to stay at Kubel's Annex.
"Harad, please have some of this."
He was lying roughly on the first-floor sofa when Kubel brought something over. It was stew with steam rising from it.
Kubel's cooking skills were well-regarded even among the knights, but Harad didn't particularly like them.
"Again?"
Harad had already eaten dinner four times.
"I heard you were injured. You have to eat to recover quickly."
"That's the fifth time you've said that. Late-night snacks are bad for you."
Shura had fallen asleep a while ago.
"Then Harad should also go to sleep soon."
"I'm not sleepy yet."
"Then please eat quickly."
"..."
Kubel had expertise in food torture.
"You've become stubborn while I wasn't looking."
"If I speak softly, the knights pretend not to hear."
Kubel no longer addressed knights respectfully.
His voice was so flat it was almost mixed with frustration.
"You've accumulated a lot."
"Actually, I've had a few duels too."
Kubel smiled awkwardly.
"You have?"
Harad's eyes widened.
The Barrier Knights seemed to have made even the timid Kubel unable to bear it.
It also meant Kubel's courage was growing.
His skills would be too, presumably.
"Did you win?"
"I won twice and lost three times."
"Excellent."
"I'm still far from enough."
The Kubel of the past would have trembled just from talking about knights, let alone dueling.
But the Kubel before his eyes was feeling thirst. It was a good sign.
"So please eat."
"...I still don't want to."
"Tsk."
"Did you just click your tongue?"
"I think you misheard."
"You learned something bad from the 1st Knights."
"I learned it from Harad."
"You did click your tongue."
"..."
It was then that a strange sound was heard.
"Did you just burp? Or retch?"
"Pardon?"
"Is it Shura?"
It was too gross for that though.
"What did you hear?"
"A sound like 'gueok'... You didn't hear it. The sound was quite loud though."
Kubel's face showed he knew nothing.
"Only I heard it."
It was a phenomenon he had already experienced.
Harad got up.
Then this time, a voice was heard.
—Come here.
It was a very sweet voice.
"You didn't hear this either?"
"What? Yes, I don't know what you're talking about..."
"Never mind. El... No, it's not her."
Harad carved letters on the table with his fingernail.
Kubel, seeing this, covered his mouth and nodded.
—I have something to say.
The sweet voice licked his ear again, showing him the way.
"My Annex. I see."
That voice was in Harad's Annex.