Brother After Dark

Chapter Twenty-Six

Blaire.

I gave him one last glare, and then I went inside his car.

He kneeled beside me and said, “I will close the door. If you were planning to run off as I round my car, I want to remind you, I can run really fast. I’ll just haul you back again. And I won’t get tired of doing it over and over.”

I glared at him.

“Good,” he said.

He went inside the car and locked the doors. Then he started driving in silence.

Halfway through the drive, he finally spoke, “What’s the problem, baby girl?”

“There’s no problem, Zach!” I muttered. Yeah, he could screw whoever he wanted, and I didn’t have any right to stop him. I didn’t have the right to get jealous, but fuck! That’s what I was feeling! I was jealous of the fact that he’d been hooking up with other girls while I was not yet over him! He just told me last Friday that he was still into me. How quickly did he get over me?

“There is if you’re acting that way,” he said. “What did I do this time?”

“Nothing!” I said. There was no way I would admit to him that I was jealous.

“Then why are you going on a date on Friday?”

I stared back at him. “Seriously? You’re asking me that question?”

He stared at me for a moment. “Seriously.”

“It’s none of your damn business!”

“It is!”

“Why?”

He didn’t answer immediately, but I saw him squeeze the steering wheel tightly. He took a deep breath and said, “Because I’m your brother. It’s my duty to protect you!”

“Your idea of protecting me is to prevent me from dating other guys so I could live a lonely life as a spinster and then die a virgin?” There was so much angst in my voice. It was true. He was warding guys away from me, and yet he’s busy hooking up with other girls. How selfish! How unfair!

He was silent for a while. He continued staring at the road with an angry expression on his face.

“It’s true, isn’t it?”

“No,” he replied.

“Liar!” I muttered.

He stepped on the brakes and took a sharp turn to the right, leading to a narrow, deserted road.

He pushed the handbrake button and then turned to me. The expression on his face was dark, sober, and angry. For a moment, I felt scared of him.

“You know that’s not true,” he said in a low voice. “Yes, I would do everything I could to prevent you from dating other guys. As your brother, I would want you to live a long and happy life. As a man, you know, if the choice was not up to me, you would not be a virgin anymore,” he said. “I still want you. I still crave for you. No matter what I do, I can’t get you out of my system! Do you know how that feels? To want you like I want you now? And yet be overcome with the burning need to do the right thing… to protect you?”

I looked out at the window, tears rolling down my cheeks. How could he say these things to me and bang another girl after?

He tilted my chin so I could face him. He wiped the tears on my cheeks.

“You know that there’s no one in this world I love more than you,” he said. “All these years, I never stopped caring about you. You’re the last person I want to hurt.” He paused and stared at my lips. “But you torment me… I want to possess you in every way possible. I want to have you, but I’m scared of losing you when all this ends.”

I knew exactly what he was saying. Once he touched me, which he almost did, there was no going back for either of us. He was not some random guy I met and have a passionate connection with. He was also my brother. Our lives would forever be intertwined. We would see each other during reunions, weddings, and other important family occasions. He may not be legally a Stewart, but I didn’t have to guess twice to know that he would be named my father’s successor, his heir. My father didn’t care about me at all. But he loved Zach. I had no intention of contesting that in court someday.

But how do we get past this? How do we get each other out of each other’s systems? How do we get over this?

Maybe Zach was right in hooking up with Stephanie Bell. After all, this was just heat. He loved me as a sister. But he lusted for me as a woman. Maybe the remedy would be other women. For me, it would be another guy.

Maybe the way for me to stop obsessing with him was if somebody else was giving me attention.

“There’s no way to get over this without hurting each other, Zach,” I said quietly. “I love you too. You will always be my big brother. And I don’t want to lose you just because my body responds to you in the most unbrotherly way.”

He gave me a hard look. He looked thoughtful for a moment. Then he asked, “So what do you suggest we do?”

I took a deep breath. This was harder for me than it would be for him. He was actually halfway there! He’d been hooking up with sluts like Stephanie Bell. That should channel his desires and forget about me in no time!

But it was not going to be as easy for me. I had very limited experience with boys. I usually came up with numerous reasons not to be with someone. Now, I couldn’t even see the logic in dating just anybody to get over my lust for my own brother. How twisted was that?

“I think we should see other people,” I said.

“Excuse me, what?”

I stared back at him. “Do what you’re doing now. Hook up with other girls. Keep fucking Stephanie Bell. Be a sex-crazed college jock. There’s a long line of girls wanting a piece of you. Take a pick. Channel all that sexual frustration on them. Soon, you’ll be so sexually satisfied you won’t even have time to think about me.”

He raised a brow at me. His face suddenly turned red. I wasn’t sure if it was because he realized I found out about him and Stephanie or because I was telling him that we should forget about each other. Nothing was ever going to happen. Nothing could.

“And please… stop telling boys to stay away from me. I’m bound to be with someone someday. And so are you. Don’t stop the inevitable. I can take care of myself. You don’t have to worry about me. If I can’t… I promise, I’ll tell you.”

He stared ahead, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly. His face was crimson. But I could tell he was trying to absorb what I was saying to him.

In the end, what could we do?

“Zach…” I whispered.

He took a deep breath. I didn’t know what was going through his mind. I was not sure if he agreed or not. Most likely, he did. He’d been doing it. The sooner we tried to move on from each other, the faster we could return to being just brother and sister.

He pushed down the handbrake button. “Let’s go home” was all he said.