Black Badger

Chapter 98

I hadn't heard anything about this.

Was it claustrophobia, or something related to collapsing buildings?

Either way, Ricardo eventually managed to steady his breathing.

I let out a sigh of relief as I watched him slowly return to normal respiration. His complexion was still poor, but at least he'd gotten past the immediate crisis.

I'd have to take time to check for other injuries.

I didn't move until after Ricardo had lowered his hand and let out a sigh.

I pushed myself up from the waist, clearing away the debris that had been covering my lower body.

"Huh."

And at the edge of the cleared debris, I spotted something.

"Marie." Ricardo, who had been motionless, lifted his head.

I stared down at the face that was half-smashed.

A pitiful sight.

She was still alive.

The one remaining eyeball rolled toward me. The collapsing building had been cruel to her. The area below her ribcage was buried under the debris, out of sight.

A pool of blood crusted on the floor.

If left like this, she'd eventually lose her life.

"She's alive...."

Ricardo murmured softly.

"For a civilian, she'd have died instantly...."

I didn't say much.

I'd realized through Jae-yeon's words that she was one of the Elder's retainers. But I wasn't sure how much I should let on that I knew.

Ska seemed to be keeping everything from Ricardo.

I glanced over, seeing the still-pale senior.

With Marie's ragged breathing in one ear, I met his gaze.

"Are you okay?"

Ricardo ignored my question.

The man stared at Marie for a while without moving again. I didn't urge him or say anything. There wasn't anything pressing to do right now anyway.

To be precise, I had no idea what to do.

Maybe if I waited, the rescue team would come....

As I was thinking, I looked at Ricardo and freaked out.

He was about to stab Marie's throat with a sharp blade.

"Senior!"

I lunged forward and snatched the blade from his hand.

"That would really kill her!"

"You don't think that's a merciful thing to do~?"

Ricardo looked up at me and smiled.

His eyes curved into crescent moons. I ignored the chill running down my spine.

He wasn't in his right mind.

I shook my head, looking him straight in the eye.

"No."

"Why.... Do you want to save her?"

"I'm not interested in this woman's life or death."

It was the truth.

I wasn't compassionate enough to worry about the perpetrator's life as well. If I were that kind of person, I wouldn't have been able to point a blade at my kin in the first place. I wouldn't have handed my sword over to a human either.

I just didn't want to see Ricardo take a person's life.

She'd die if we just left her anyway.

After explaining my inner thoughts, I added dryly,

"It'll come back to haunt you in your dreams."

Ricardo let out a scoff.

It was clearly a sneer.

"You've never killed anyone, have you?"

I have.

If you counted my kin in the broad sense as people. Of course, I couldn't say that.

As for killing humans on Earth, I genuinely couldn't answer because I didn't know.

Instead of retorting, I stared at the senior wearing a pale sneer.

"If we just leave her, she'll die soon."

"That's why I'm saying we should finish her off before that.... Ah, don't worry about me~. I'm not kind enough to have nightmares over killing one dying human~."

"I don't really want to see this human die peacefully either."

This was also the truth.

"I don't sympathize with the audience, but I don't sympathize with the madman who blows up a packed arena either."

Ricardo observed me quietly.

Silence fell. A dark, narrow space enveloped in silence. Marie's ragged breathing, the sound of concrete fragments falling, faint screams echoing from afar.

Whether it was the aftereffects of the drugs or the match, my stomach churned.

I deliberately pushed the unpleasant sensation aside and waited patiently for his response. He still looked bad. The space itself seemed to be giving him discomfort.

I needed to get this guy out of here quickly.

The green-eyed man, sweating coldly, slowly broke the silence.

"Surprising~. I thought you'd want to save her, not kill her...."

"Thanks for thinking well of me."

"You're not holding back because you want to save her, are you~?"

Ricardo narrowed his eyes.

"Be honest.... I don't want to hear rumors later about the white-haired newbie suffering from guilt over a life he couldn't save...."

"Do I seem that saintly to you?"

He was persistent.

I appreciated the concern, but.

The senior didn't answer my incredulous counter-question.

The floor shook faintly.

I slowly stood up without showing that I'd felt the vibration.

The space wasn't tall enough to stand fully, so I had to hunch over.

"Should I make some space?"

"...What?"

"The space. The ceiling or the passage."

I knew he hated hearing this kind of thing, but I said it anyway.

What could I do? In this situation. Losing his power and being helplessly trapped, his past that he desperately wanted to hide exposed in front of the audience, getting stuck with a green newbie and having a panic attack—it all had to be scraping at his pride. I knew he was suppressing the urge to explode. He was someone with strong pride who hated opening up.

But we couldn't maintain those boundaries in this situation. Plus, I wasn't the type to gently soothe someone's traumas.

So I just continued.

"You seem to hate narrow places."

He was angry after all.

At me and himself.

Ricardo shot me a blazing glare.

"Mind your own damn business...."

I turned away from the grinding senior without responding.

"I'll be as careful as possible."

I had to choose tiles that wouldn't accelerate the collapse.

"Let me know if it seems dangerous."

It was Jenga in real life.

Ignoring the stinging glare hitting my back, I moved my hands. With eyes adjusted to the dark, I cleared away things I could manage, pushing them to the corner.

Fortunately, I was good at games in general, including Jenga.

The space opened up quickly. Having more room to move improved my mood a bit. Clearing the debris also helped me assess the situation.

The debris piled toward the arena side seemed best left alone. I had no immediate plans to move, but if I had to, I'd head the opposite way. That side looked less collapsed.

What was Jae-yeon doing?

The senior's sharp voice yanked me out of my thoughts by the hair.

"What you say doesn't sound like words to me?"

His voice was sharper than before.

"Don't do useless things and sit down."

I turned to look at the senior.

An angry Ricardo.

More precisely, a Ricardo made hypersensitive by his trauma being triggered.

I'd faced similar situations in the past. There had been a few comrades like Ricardo—strong in pride and reluctant to show their inner selves.

Wearing a sword and handling various tasks, one inevitably ran into rough situations.

In those cases, when inevitably confronting someone else's trauma like this, I'd bring out my own weak points first.

This was my fear.

Since you'd seen yours unwillingly, look at mine too.

I slowly sat back down.

"I...."

The problem was that my past was mostly classified.

I couldn't even gauge what was classified and what wasn't.

If I'd known this would happen, I should've asked Ye-hyeon for more details.

It was too late for that now, so I racked my brain and spoke.

"What scares me the most is facing the things I did in the past."

It really did scare me.

To the point where I often thought I wished I weren't Hildebert Talev.

"So lately, I've been avoiding the truth a bit."

Ricardo blinked.

He stared at me with widened eyes, maintaining a strange expression in silence for a moment.

It was the look of someone thinking, What strange nonsense is this guy spouting all of a sudden?

"Well, I'll have to remember it eventually. Anyway, I've been avoiding it for a few weeks. I want to like myself as long as possible."

"...You remembered~?"

"Some of it."

It was all true up to here.

My bent waist started to ache. The nausea I'd been ignoring came back.

I let out a small sigh.

"Lately, memories keep resurfacing in fragments."

"...So that's why your skills have improved so much after just a few months...?"

"Ah, yes. That's right. My body hasn't caught up with the memories yet, though."

"But what do you mean you'll start hating yourself...."

Ricardo slowly sat down on the floor as he asked.

I felt faintly satisfied that he was at least settling in to talk a bit.

I picked up the sounds filtering in through the debris.

"I've done a lot of wrong."

Ricardo didn't seem to accept the concise answer.

He sneered at me more.

"You~?"

"Yes."

This guy had been seeing me in an overly positive light since earlier.

"A goody-two-shoes like you, even if you did something wrong, how big could it be...."

Ricardo sneered, draping one arm over his knee.

The man's green eyes fixed on me without moving.

"At worst, maybe you failed to save someone...."

His voice was thick with self-loathing.

"You're not the type to utterly hate someone, or to stab a trusted ally in the back...."

Ah.

Ah.

His words struck like a blade.

I couldn't hold back and burst into laughter.

It was a hysterical laugh. One I couldn't control.

I saw Ricardo's eyes widen in surprise, but I didn't care.

I laughed for a good while.

Then I finally managed to rein it in.

"No."

I hated Colton with a debt of guilt just as great as what I felt toward him, and I'd stabbed those who trusted me in the back.

So Ricardo Sordi was completely wrong.

"Unfortunately, it's a total wrong answer."

The man faintly furrowed his brow.

I was satisfied that I no longer sensed any signs of a breakdown from him. His face was still pale, and he was still sweating coldly. But he'd be okay for a while.

But his ankle was swollen.

I'd have to carry him.

I slowly stood up and approached the senior, offering my hand.

"I can assure you, you're a better person than I am."

"Oh.... You spout off without knowing anything...."

"It's mutual, isn't it?"

When I grinned, Ricardo shut his mouth and scowled.

I widened my smile in response.

"I think so too."

The senior raised one eyebrow.

"You're good enough that there can't be valid grounds for your self-loathing."

I'd crossed the line.

Ricardo shot up at an astonishing speed and slapped my face. It was something the usual him would never do. The usual him was calm, knowing that hitting me would only hurt his hand, and that he couldn't deliver either mental or physical shock to an insolent junior.

I was sorry for pushing someone who wasn't in a good state.

The laws were different when you were sane versus not, but I'd spoken too harshly.

I grabbed the arm of the one looking at me with a bloodied fist.

"Once we get out of here and you recover your physical abilities, feel free to beat me as much as you want."

"You crazy bastard."

"I'm sorry."

The vibration from the passage near the arena was annoying.

After apologizing in a subdued voice, I pulled the half-risen senior closer.

Moving seemed better. There was no benefit in ignoring ominous signs.

I felt resistance, but ignored it.

Supporting the senior as if half-carrying him, I slowly walked toward the opposite side of the arena.

Once we reached the blocked area, I'd clear the debris obstructing the passage.

"Let me know if you hear any strange noises."

"You thick-skinned jerk...."

"Yes, I know. Still, this time I'm trying to live properly. In my own way."

"What's 'properly' by your standards?"

His inner thoughts were clear: You're trying to live properly, yet you say crap like that?

After crawling through the narrow space, I carefully sat the senior down next to the dead-end passage. So I could quickly protect him if the debris collapsed while clearing it.

I crouched beside him and began real-life Jenga round two.

As I cautiously cleared the blocked passage, I answered the question that didn't need one.

"Saving humans."

Sorry, Marie.

"And killing creatures."

The decision my past self had made.

Since I couldn't correct the mistakes that came from that decision, I'd kept trying to save humans.

Because, as Yoon said, I'd drawn my sword.

Because I'd placed the drawn sword in Ye-hyeon's hand.

So....

"That won't make me as upright as the Hildebert Talev you imagine."

Silence returned.

I busily worked my hands and succeeded in clearing the debris blocking the passage.