Black Badger

Chapter 212: The One Who Left and the Ones Who Remained (3)

It really is a very personal question.

I thought to myself as I placed my foot back on the accelerator pedal. The car smoothly slid forward along the road.

Impressive that he even noticed this.

Keeping my eyes fixed on the distance ahead, I answered:

“It is one of our tactics. We use it as a form of intimidation whenever we face the enemy, so I am accustomed to it.”

[So you mean it has been like that the entire time.]

Hearing Yehyeon’s reply, I gave a bitter smile.

“You do not need to worry too much. There is a considerable distance anyway. I do not clearly feel it unless I am searching for the presence of kin outside the Core.”

[You said you can always feel the presence of your kin.]

“But that does not mean I am always paying attention to it. Think of it as something similar to the malicious comments or lawsuits that constantly fall on you, Commander.”

[I do not know those people. But you are feeling the negative emotions poured out by the people you used to cherish.]

“It does not come crashing in like a tidal wave.”

It was difficult to explain.

Even more because I had never imagined I would explain this. Before the war, we never revealed to humans that we were connected like this.

And the emotional sphere of intuition was treated as extremely private in our culture.

This back-and-forth felt awkward.

“You really do not need to worry.”

[Hilde. In the past, you must have received many positive emotions too.]

I had failed to close the conversation.

Yehyeon asked a strange question—one only a human could come up with.

My hands on the steering wheel tightened as I gave a small laugh.

“No. Controlling one’s own emotions and not transmitting them to others is our basic etiquette. Which means that ordinarily, we have no way of knowing what emotions others are feeling, just like humans. Except in unusual situations like battle. In short, we normally feel only the enemy’s negative emotions.”

[How unusual.]

Yehyeon’s voice sounded perplexed.

I kept a faint smile as I waited for what he would say next. It felt strange explaining something so natural yet so private to me.

[You can transmit emotions, but you do not transmit positive ones? For your entire life?]

“The act of transmitting emotion itself is extremely private. So much so that unless he was a truly monstrous tyrant, even the Emperor would never order his subordinates to transmit their loyalty.”

[Ah.]

He clearly did not understand at all.

[Then you cannot ask Kairos to transmit positive emotion to you?]

I burst into laughter.

I could not hold it back, and I laughed for quite a while as I drove, until I remembered that the person on the other end of the line was always absurdly busy. Only then did I rein in my laughter.

“That is the same as telling him to confess his love.”

[Is it that kind of thing? So only lovers transmit positive emotions to each other.]

“Even lovers do not do it unless they are absolutely certain that they truly love each other.... Dumping positive emotions on someone without permission was treated as stalking and punished. Even bringing up the topic is extremely delicate.”

[Then you must be uncomfortable now.]

“To speak honestly, it feels like I am giving my son a sex-education lecture.”

This time, Yehyeon laughed.

After laughing for a long while, he spoke in a voice that still held traces of amusement.

[This is funny.]

“It is not funny to me.”

[Then you have never received positive emotion transmission? Not once?]

“...That is truly personal... May I not answer?”

[Ah, sorry. You do not need to answer. Seems like even asking is rude.]

“Quite....”

To confess, my face was now red.

How was I supposed to explain this. I looked at the road, feeling the heat rising in my cheeks. How was I supposed to explain that this was a far more sensitive topic than who slept with whom.

All parents are incredible.

If he demanded further details, I did not know how I would answer. One wrong step and it would fall into the realm of harassment. I probably needed to explain that much.

But fortunately, Yehyeon did not ask anything more.

He apologized politely, then added:

[Since it is that sensitive an area, pouring negative emotion onto the enemy must be an extremely effective attack.]

“Yes.”

[Do parents ever pour negative emotion onto their children?]

“That is extreme abuse. It was punished very severely.”

[In other words, I have valid reason to worry about you.]

...He got me there.

I could only give a bitter smile, unsure how to answer. Whatever I said, I doubted he would stop worrying.

[If it becomes too heavy, tell me.]

Yehyeon broke the silence filling the car.

[I do not think I could endure something like that. If it becomes too hard to bear, be sure to tell me.]

“Yes. But I truly am fine. Commander, after all... you are not particularly affected by Sophia Kalak’s gaze, are you.”

[She and I were only ever superior and subordinate. Nothing more.]

A sunken voice came through the receiver.

[But you are not.]

I was truly at a loss for how to reply.

Hearing my silence, Yehyeon let out a bitter laugh.

[I held you up too long. You have a mission tomorrow, so go in and rest.]

Feeling guilty that I had only made him worry more, yet relieved that this uncomfortable topic was over, I quickly told him to go rest, and ended the call before heading home.

***

“It has been a really long time since we did a mission together.”

“How is your injury?”

The moment I saw Tom approaching with a bright smile, I asked.

It was a routine supply mission. Mostly assigned to rookies, or to Badgers who had returned from long-range missions. The only difference was that the distance was a bit farther than the time we went to the Library of Beginnings.

Some personnel would have to replenish supplies in F Zone and then drive a supply truck all the way to D Zone.

“Boro” was a mission assigned only to seniors. The only person I knew here was my junior, Tom.

At 2 p.m., I met Tom at the unmanned train station leading outside the Core.

The red-haired junior stared at my face.

“Hilde, I told you it was only a scratch.”

“You slept well last night?”

“Of course. Are you worried it became a trauma?”

Exactly.

“We need to catch the culprit as soon as possible.”

Tom studied my face and spoke slowly.

“If someone heard you, they would think you accidentally shot me.”

“I told you not to try to catch him.”

“Let’s check the supply numbers first.”

Tom looked down at the mission phone and switched the subject.

“Before the seniors get here.”

He was truly stubborn.

Anyway, we got busy.

This time the train ride was fifteen hours. That was why we were leaving at 3 p.m.—so we would arrive at 6 a.m.

Tom and I, the fresh rookies, arrived one hour early to check the supplies loaded onto the train. Checking the cargo before departure was always the job of the youngest.

The system tracked everything, but we still had to do a physical inventory.

After checking the quantities, we sat on a bench and waited for the seniors.

“Are those the youngest ones?”

Around 2:45, seniors began arriving at the station.

“Did you finish the supply count?”

“Yes. No issues.”

“Good. We won’t interfere, so rest comfortably during the ride.”

“Thanks!”

“You two will be getting juniors soon, huh?”

A senior with cropped hair said as he boarded the train.

I blinked twice. So the rookie recruitment results must be coming out soon?

Makes sense. Kairos had passed all his interviews and was waiting only for the background check.

Tom seemed to know more about this than I did.

After politely answering the seniors, the moment they were out of sight, he turned to me.

“Hesh’s little brother is waiting on his background check.”

I stopped mid-step while boarding the train.

“Luke?!”

“I think that was his name. He only needs to pass the background check.”

My god.

I was honestly shocked. If both passed, Luke and Kairos would be in the same intake.

I couldn’t imagine those two matching well. Though I did not know Hesh’s younger brother very well.

Of course, there was no guarantee both would pass.

I stepped fully into the train, thinking I should check the Black Badger hiring schedule on the website.

The internet would cut out after about three hours, so I needed to use my phone while I could.

“Shall we rest and eat dinner around five-thirty? So we don’t overlap with the seniors.”

“Good.”

The agreement was quick.

We each retreated into our respective train cars.

***

The supply mission ended with no special incidents.

It taught me I needed to bring a book or a handheld game next time. Once the internet cut out, there was nothing to do.

I heard that if you were unlucky, seniors might force you to drink with them for the entire ride, but the seniors we had this time were fairly reserved. They did not bother us going or coming, so Tom and I completed the mission comfortably.

We did most of the supply hauling, but that was fine.

The most senior ones traveled all the way to D Zone, so the seniors had not completely slacked off.

A swarm of Creatures targeting me came near during the trip, but I dealt with them quietly without being discovered. Tom and the seniors likely never knew a Creature swarm had come.

It was a good mission in many ways.

I even got three days off.

[Guide me to the grave.]

The moment I returned to Center Core, I sent a message to Kairos.

The reply came immediately.

[Kairos : Where are you right now?]

He should at least let me change clothes.

I drove home in the car that had sat abandoned for three days. After changing into a jet-black suit, I got into the car of the kin waiting in front of the cabin. Thankfully, the car I had sent for repairs had come back.

I got into the quiet sedan and kept silent.

Kairos said nothing either, so I had time to settle my emotions before reaching the grave.

He even knew how to drive calmly.

“Couldn’t you drive like this from now on?”

As I muttered while stepping out of the car, Kairos grinned.

He was also wearing a perfectly fitted black suit.

His clothes fluttered in the wind. It was now the kind of weather where we needed coats.

A cold, knife-sharp wind brushed my cheek.

“You like this driving style more? Then whenever I drive you, I shall drive more gently than usual!”

“For your own sake, please always drive gently...”

“There are chrysanthemums in the trunk.”

The driver approached me, tapping the ground lightly with the tips of his shoes, and gave a sad smile.

“I bought some for your share too.”

Behind an anonymous church.

Behind the small church building, in a place where the greenery did not wither even in the cold. Nori’s grave was there.

It had been placed according to Nori’s wishes.

Before the war began, he had known that I sometimes stepped into this church and listened to the hymns that humans sang.

Back when I was the commander of the knights, after missions, I would sit on an oak bench and listen to the hymns.

‘Since he will be visiting the grave, he should hear the hymns too.’

That fool had said so, apparently.

‘The object of worship may be different. But bury me where songs exist.’

Nori had received ✧ NоvеIight ✧ (Original source) a mortal wound while confronting Hekate.

He then died after a long struggle. He had never been able to rise from his sickbed since the First War. His injuries only worsened.

But I heard he had refused to give up on treatment until the end. Everyone said it was hopeless, but he had firmly held onto his will to live.

He had waited for me endlessly.

“When you returned, he asked me to tell you something.”

Kairos looked down at me as I knelt before the grave.

“That he was sorry he could not wait until the end.”

My little chick.

After laying down the chrysanthemums, I brushed my hand over the white tombstone.

My shadow.

I had no memory of doing anything special for him, yet at some point he began following me blindly. Even when I told him he did not need to repay me or prove anything, he only stared at me with stubborn eyes.

Now he was before me.

Reduced to dust beneath the soil.

If I had come a little earlier, I might have been able to relocate him.

I heard that when Nori was bedridden, the last remaining child of the World Tree had also been on the verge of death. So relocation had been impossible. Before the World Tree’s child could awaken from its coma, Nori passed away.

I had been too late.

Far too...

“Thank you, Nori.”

I murmured as I stared at the Imperial letters carved into the tombstone.

After brushing away the fallen leaves covering the stone, I bent down and kissed the white stone.

“I am sorry for being late.”

Tears flowed down my cheek and fell on the stone.

“I am sorry...”

The roaring wind drowned out my voice.

We remained there for a long time in the cold air.

The wind scattering leaves across the tombstone was painfully cold.

***

[Shu Diamond : I’m here.]

Even faster than the delivery Spitfire said he was sending, a message arrived from the two-toned-hair senior.

[Shu Diamond : Come to HQ. When are you free? Let’s talk about the portal.]