Black Badger

Chapter 192: If I Have To Hand It Over

Kudo went straight to the drawer cabinet.

He yanked open the first drawer and checked the revolver inside. So this man was a repeat offender. Watching the senior check the bullets in the revolver, I became certain of it.

He could not bring himself to throw away his father’s keepsake.

If he could, he would have.

I quietly smiled and stood up after turning off the game.

“Kudo sunbae.”

Kudo, who had been rummaging through all the drawers, lifted his head.

“I checked all the bullets, so you do not need to worry.”

“Jonathan.”

Hm?

I did not immediately understand Kudo’s short reply.

A beat later, I realized he meant I should call him Jonathan, not Kudo sunbae.

...This feels awkward.

“...Kudo?”

“Jonathan.”

“...Jonathan sunbae.”

“Jonathan.”

...Stubborn, I see.

Ricardo buried his face in one hand and trembled. He was clearly savoring this short exchange to the fullest.

I thought this every single time: why on earth did he change so much?

After hesitating, I forced my reluctant mouth to open.

“...Jonathan.”

Kudo gave a brief nod.

Then he walked over to the table where the game console was and picked up Ricardo’s phone. As if it were his own, he flicked through the screen at high speed.

Ricardo straightened his back and leaned lazily against the sofa.

“Stop calling me, you crazy bastard~.... And give me my phone.”

“You are going outside the Core tomorrow?”

He must have been looking at the mission schedule stored on the phone.

“I should tell the Personnel Director to change the team lineup.”

Instead of answering, Ricardo snatched his phone back.

And he kicked Kudo’s leg.

Whack!

A loud sound echoed, but Kudo did not dodge.

His expression did not even change. It must have hurt quite a bit.

In any case, Kudo would take care of him now.

I quietly prepared to leave beside the thoroughly irritated Ricardo and Kudo, who countered that irritation with absolute calm. After finishing the game, I pulled out the game chip.

I should go home.

I needed to think.

I was trying not to show it, but I was in a state of confusion.

Something was trying to surface in my memory.

Something essential that I had forgotten. Probably the reason I hated Colton.

The “throne” must have been referring to Colton. Considering that Jaeyeon said this game was his favorite, it made sense.

But I still could not grasp the source of my hatred. I felt like I might remember it any moment, yet it would not come.

If I could remember this one thing, I felt like I could remember everything.

Maybe things would be different after I slept.

Crash!

Wow.

Terrifying. The atmosphere had become vicious.

I cleaned up the shattered espresso cup while watching the seniors’ expressions.

“Just you try telling the Personnel Director.... I will smash every antique in your house....”

“The mission from B Zone to A Zone is among the highest-risk assignments.”

Kudo stared directly at Ricardo, who was furious down to the very ends of his nerves.

“Going out in this mental state is a burden to your team as well, is it not?”

Kudo sunbae... no, Jonathan, could you please say things more gently.

Suppressing the retort that almost burst out, I slipped the game chip into my pocket. The atmosphere of the living room fell into ruins quickly.

I had forgotten that this block-of-wood man had even worse social skills than Yun.

Should I intervene?

Could I even intervene?

While I was debating, Jonathan spoke.

“I hear that humanoid Creatures have been appearing more often recently in A Zone.”

My hands stopped wrapping the shards in tissue.

“It seems reasonable to request a team reassignment or a postponement.”

Come to think of it, Jonathan Kudo did not know what I was.

Being surrounded by people who did know, I had briefly forgotten reality. Being accepted down to the bone had felt strangely comforting.

After throwing away the tissue filled with glass shards, I stood.

“That is for the higher-ups to decide~.”

I should keep a healthy distance from Kudo.

“And who are you to tell me to go or not go on my mission~?”

“It is advice, not an order.”

Kudo turned his head sharply toward me.

“Hilde.”

“Yes?”

“Are you also going on tomorrow’s mission?”

“Yes. That is correct.”

“Go back and sleep.”

His voice was firm and unwavering.

“Even in top condition, it is a difficult mission.”

How would this man react if he learned that I brought my kin to Earth?

He was someone who clung to the echoes of what had left, holding on to any fragment he could. Someone who smashed open a front door the moment his mission ended for fear of missing what had not left.

If it had not been for me, maybe he could have lived with everything in his hands.

There was no way I should step into the circle of someone like that.

I also did not want to see his face tainted with betrayal again.

“Thank you.”

I smiled faintly.

“Then I will take my leave.”

I needed to maintain as much distance as possible.

After bowing my head, I walked toward the broken front door. Morning autumn sunlight poured through the shattered frame.

I fled into the bright sunlight.

Ricardo seemed about to say something, but I pretended not to notice.

***

I woke to Yun’s call.

[Godfather, huh?]

He said abruptly.

I lay in bed and wiped my face.

“...It just ended up that way.”

[How far are you planning to twist your family tree?]

“It was twisted from the beginning.”

Even after waking up, I still could not recall the source of the hatred.

Staring at the ceiling, I answered bluntly. It felt like something was stuck in my brain. It was not a pleasant feeling.

And tomorrow I had a mission.

I switched to speakerphone and covered my face with both hands.

I had no desire to move from bed.

“When Yehyeon says something like that, how am I supposed to refuse?”

[If you had no intention of accepting, you should have refused.]

“I had the intention. I simply lacked the face to say it.”

[Really?]

Yes, really.

[Then since things turned out like this, I suppose I should speak to you in honorifics in private as well.]

“What the hell.”

I shot upright, expression stiff.

“Please do not do that, I beg you.”

The thought alone gave me chills.

But Yun did not listen nicely. He immediately began using formal speech with me. Only after I pleaded repeatedly did he return to his usual tone.

Anyway, was this why he called?

[I will be replacing Ami on tomorrow’s mission.]

Ah, of course.

He would not call for something as trivial as earlier.

I quietly despaired as the high-intelligence sociopath replaced the light and salt of my life on the mission roster.

[You look far too displeased.]

“I did not say anything, sunbae.”

[I can feel it in your silence.]

Caught.

I clicked my tongue softly and sighed.

“Is there no other change in personnel?”

[There should not be. I have not been told otherwise.]

So Ricardo would be coming as scheduled.

I did not know why the trigger had gone off, but either the Personnel Director judged it not severe enough to affect the mission, or Kudo had not told him.

I glanced at the paper cup beside the bed. It was filled with bullets taken from the revolver.

I was not sure this would end well.

But wait—this meant the mission members were Ricardo Sordi, Carl Dow, Sophia Kalak, and Choi Yun.

“Will you be able to get along with Sophia Kalak sunbae?”

[As long as she does not talk nonsense. It is not as if people wanting to kill Yehyeon are rare.]

“...Besides Jaeyeon and Kalak sunbae, are there more? Will we even be able to hold a conversation during the mission?”

[That is probably why the Personnel Director made you squad leader.]

For a moment, I did not understand Yun’s words.

For a very long moment.

As I sat there wordless, Yun broke the silence with a sharp, “Hey.”

[Get a grip.]

“I must have misheard, sunbae.”

[A Zone consists mostly of Creatures without proper classifications. You have the most knowledge of the enemy. Should you not be the squad leader?]

“I am a rookie.”

The difference in class seniority was massive.

There had never been a more outrageous case of insubordination. This was an absurd decision. I had no idea who made it.

But Yun swatted away my protest with the invincible line: higher-up decisions are absolute.

After stubbornly resisting, I gave up and lay down again.

It was already evening, since I had taken a long nap.

“Ah, I solved the easter egg for K. I also got the ones for I and R, so please look into their names.”

[What was it about?]

I relayed the content of the letter Kairos had written.

My stomach churned again. It was a /N_o_v_e_l_i_g_h_t/ complex emotion. The overwhelming hope and joy that my kin might still be alive inside the Core, and the deep fear that this hope might be crushed.

My hatred for Colton.

My memories returning only as vague silhouettes.

It felt like it could burst open with the slightest trigger.

“It feels like I am constantly experiencing the phenomenon of flashback distortion.”

[Stop wasting your time and prepare for tomorrow’s departure.]

I already missed Ami.

I stayed on the bed for a long time even after the call ended, thinking that I should visit Ami’s hospital room before heading to the mission site tomorrow.

***

When I headed to the assembly point with my sword, Sophia was there.

I thought I had come first. Sitting on a metal chair, Sophia lifted her head slightly as she cleaned her gun.

I bowed.

“Good morning.”

She did not acknowledge the greeting.

She simply returned to cleaning her firearm.

I was not surprised. I had not expected her to return the greeting.

I silently stepped inside and sat on the metal chair farthest from her.

We had gathered in the headquarters meeting room. The researchers were preparing the portal in the portal zone to transport us. Before the portal was activated, we were to gather in the meeting room for brief preparation.

But seriously, me being squad leader?

I did not even properly know how the “search” operation—one of the most difficult clearing tasks—was conducted or what tools were required.

Who made me squad leader?

Sighing, I missed Ami.

Ami was... still forbidden to have a frappuccino.

“My brother brings me a frappuccino every day just to tease me!”

A few minutes ago, she had let out a furious rant.

“He hates sweet drinks so much, yet he buys a frappuccino every day and drinks it right in front of me!”

Choi Yun truly committed himself to teasing his sister.

At least her wounds were healing well. Yun said she was recovering enough that he could join missions with peace of mind.

I still felt a heavy guilt whenever I saw Ami. I tried not to show it in front of her.

We absolutely had to catch the culprit.

I sat there gripping my sword, lost in thought for a long time.

Only when the three seniors entered all together did I break out of it.

“Squad leader~.”

Ricardo stood at the threshold and gave me a crooked smile.

“I look forward to this mission~.”

“Just kill me.”

“I heard you were once a Knight Captain. I am sure you will do well. Your skill is exceptional.”

“No need to worry, Captain. I will follow orders.”

Carl said dryly as I despaired, and Yun smirked and used honorifics.

I held my head in my hands, crushed.

I stayed like that without even thinking about beginning the meeting.

Until Sophia Kalak spoke coldly.

“This will be my last mission in the TF. I am leaving after this.”

Everyone turned toward her.

“I cannot promise that I will not point my gun at that existence.”

“Sophia.”

“You heard it too, did you not? That he was once a leader.”

She answered coldly, staring straight into Carl’s blue eyes.

Her long straight black hair swayed.

“I do not have the self-control to endure with the commander of Creatures right before me. I realized that just sitting in this meeting room. This will be my final mission here.”

“The moment you fail to endure, your head will fly.”

Yun spoke flatly without even looking at Sophia.

But she was unaffected. Her eyes, cooled with old rage, slid toward me. I met the senior’s justified, time-worn hatred.

Grief over the ones she loved would never fade.

“I do not care.”

Her burning emotion must be the only thing keeping her alive.

“I am willing to give up everything if it means killing them. Mutual destruction with the enemy is far sweeter to me than a miserable life.”

Those words.

The words filled with her raw sincerity.

The words of someone who, in our moments alone, must have barely suppressed the urge to point her gun at me out of the last pride of a Black Badger.

A cold sentence pressed the switch inside me.

The switch that illuminated memories shrouded in fog.

I remembered the source of the emotion.

“Colton.”

My long companion.

My friend.

My nemesis.

The one I tried with all my strength to kill, yet could not.

The one who needed the entire world beneath his feet.