[BL] Alpha, You've Got the Wrong Mate!

Chapter 347 — W-We Are Not Married

[It’s raining outside as I await Zayden’s return. Not because we failed to make love, as he says, but simply because I long for his embrace in this cold weather. Spring has begun, marking the end of winter. Snow never bothered me as much as rain. Was it because I had once lost everything on a rainy night? My dread of this weather never fades.

Gods, if you are listening to me, if you do exist, forgive my sins. I shall repent for the rest of my existence. For all the times I have cursed you all, I beg your forgiveness.

But please, I beg of you, don’t take Zayden away from me.

Don’t take away the happiness I have forgotten.

Don’t steal my life once again... I doubt I will be able to live through it if the same thing occurs a second time.

It isn’t too much to ask, right?...]

The sound of footsteps approaching the door sent a jolt through Ren. He closed the diary at once, fingers moving on instinct, and shoved it deep into his luggage as though it were something forbidden. Only when it was hidden did he pause, breath shallow.

He didn’t know when it had started—this separate diary, this quiet habit of writing things down just for Zayden. Pages filled with the alpha’s preferences, his temper, the way his voice softened when he was tired, how he loved drinking and found excuses to waste himself with alcohol, the foods he reached for without thinking. Small things. Intimate things. Things Ren hadn’t realized he was collecting until they were already there.

At first, he told himself it was because of duty. He had to recall all these to serve the alpha well, so as not to receive any complaints. So as not to lose his job. But now, he did it out of habit.

He moved quickly to the bed and lay on his stomach, burying his unease beneath practiced calm. The light green shirt he wore clung loosely to him, slipping down one shoulder, cool air brushing against bare skin. He only wore his underwear but the shirt was long enough to reach the length of his undergarments.

The door opened without so much as a knock.

Ren lifted his head.

Zayden stood there.

For a heartbeat, the world narrowed to the sight of him—the familiar broad frame, the sharp eyes that softened the instant they found Ren.

His lips curved upward, gentle and unguarded, and his gaze softened as it settled on Zayden.

"You are back?" he asked.

Outside, rain battered the windowpane, the sudden downpour relentless, loud enough that it seemed to seep into the room itself. There was no escaping it—the storm had claimed the night.

Zayden nodded and moved closer, lowering himself beside the omega. His fingers slid slowly through Ren’s silver strands, careful, reverent.

Ren looked calm at first glance, serene beneath his touch, yet something felt off. The way his pheromones lingered in the air—too scattered, too uneven—set Zayden on edge.

"Are you alright?" he whispered, softening his voice as much as he could, though it still carried clearly in the quiet room.

Ren didn’t answer right away. His gaze drifted toward the window, watching the rain stream down the glass, before returning to Zayden.

"I don’t think so," he said at last, his voice barely above a breath.

Zayden stiffened. He reached for Ren’s hands, enclosing them tightly in his own, as if anchoring him there. Their eyes locked.

"Are you in pain?" he asked, breath uneven. "Tell me what is wrong."

The mere thought of Ren being uncomfortable—hurting, unsettled—sent something sharp and primal twisting in his chest.

Ren pressed a soft peck to the back of the alpha’s hand and looked up at him, his head resting against the pillow, posture loose and unguarded.

When his lips brushed Zayden’s skin, he noticed the contrast—the roughness of his flesh, worn by battle and duty, yet warm beneath his mouth. The warmth lingered, grounding, as if it flowed straight into him.

Ren’s fingers tightened around Zayden’s hand, as if drawing courage from the contact. He hesitated, then spoke, voice low, almost embarrassed.

"I... I am scared of rainy days."

Zayden blinked, taken aback. He glanced toward the window, where rain hammered relentlessly against the glass, before looking back at Ren.

"Rain?" he repeated gently. He didn’t laugh, making Ren’s fear appear like a joke. He kept calm before softly asking, "Why?"

Ren swallowed hard. His gaze drifted again, unfocused now, as if the sound itself was pulling him somewhere far away.

"It’s been like this for a while now," he murmured. He still couldn’t believe he was opening up to this man.

Ren had changed. In a good way. He didn’t mind revealing his worst side to Zayden as he knew this man would accept him regardless of everything. Just like Ilyan had. None of them minded his omega nature. None of them ever mocked him for his health and animalistic behaviour during the time. If anything, they insisted they were equally as beastly.

"The noise..." He continued. "The way it doesn’t stop pouring relentlessly. It makes me feel like everything will disappear. Like I will drown in it and lose everything."

Zayden’s chest tightened. He squeezed Ren’s hand a little harder.

"Have you been afraid all this time?" he asked quietly. "Then why didn’t you tell me?"

Ren let out a shaky breath, a faint, self-aware smile touching his lips.

"Because I always managed it alone," he said. "I told myself I didn’t need anyone. That it would pass if I just endured it."

His fingers shifted, lacing with Zayden’s.

"But today... I am too tired," he admitted at last. "I don’t want to manage it alone anymore. I wanted you here. I wanted to rely on someone for once." His voice trembled, fragile and bare. "Is that wrong?"

Zayden answered without hesitation, his tone firm, unwavering.

"Certainly not."

He leaned in, resting his forehead against Ren’s, as though he could shield him from the storm outside—and the one inside his chest.

"I am glad you told me," he murmured. "And I am glad you chose me to share your fears with."

He embraced Ren into his arms, pressing gentle kisses to his face again and again, slow and deliberate. If affection could anchor him, then Zayden would give him all of it. He only hoped it would calm Ren’s erratic pheromones, even if just a little.

"I have a question," he said quietly. "May I ask?"

Ren responded with a soft hum, lifting his eyes. Their faces were close—so close that each breath they took mingled, warm and steady.

They locked their gaze, barely blinking as if under some sort of spell. Yet, none of them were willing to break free.

"What caused it? Why exactly are you scared of rain?"

The question settled between them, heavy and unavoidable.

Ren’s eyes fell to the bedsheets beneath him. White. Empty. Unmarked. Just like he had once been. Just like he believed himself to be.

"You have seen snow, right?"

Zayden narrowed his eyes but said nothing. The answer was obvious to them both.

"Of course you have. You live in this land, where winter lasts longer than any other season. Snow is white," Ren continued softly. "Have you ever wondered why?"

A brief pause.

Zayden searched for an answer, a dozen possibilities passing through his mind—only to discard them all. None of them felt right.

"It’s because it has lost its true colour," Ren whispered. "It’s empty. Just as I used to be when we first met. And if you pour blood onto snow, it turns red immediately, doesn’t it?" His fingers curled faintly into the sheets. "That’s what you are to me. The colour I needed. The colour I craved. Without you... I fear I would be no one by now."

His voice faded into quiet breaths, barely louder than the rain striking the window.

Zayden’s chest ached. He didn’t know how Ren had come to believe such things about him—but knowing how deeply Zayden mattered to the omega left him shaken.

Ren’s feelings ran far deeper than he had ever imagined, and the realization both terrified and warmed him all at once.

"I love you." That was the only thing that left the alpha’s mouth.

The silver-haired man glanced up, a faint smile forming on his lips.

"Me too."

The two remained silent for a long moment, enjoying each other’s presence.

Sometimes, silence spoke louder than one’s voice. And actions expressed better than words could ever.

"Why did the Crown Prince call for you?" Ren finally asked, looking outside through the window.

"There are more demons near the Capital."

"That’s!..." Ren gasped. "Worrisome..."

Zayden nodded.

"But don’t worry, your husband can protect you just fine."

Ren’s cheeks flushed slightly.

"H-Husband?!" He blinked, finally looking at Zayden once more. "W-We are not married."

"Yet," Zayden added, his lips almost reaching the corner of his eyes. Bright. Wide.