Chapter 193 — What About Me?
Chapter 193 — What About Me?
"Oh dear. Finally, you’ve regained consciousness. I thought I might have to surrender my dear life to the General if you didn’t wake up today," the royal physician sighed, shaking his head.
Ren looked up at Zayden, who immediately averted his gaze as if he had done something he shouldn’t have.
"Why?... What did he do?" Ren asked hesitantly, curiosity stirring despite himself.
Not to mention, even his clothes had been changed...
"Ahem," Zayden faked a cough, tapping the physician’s shoulder. "Nothing much. Really. I just told him and a few others to make sure you recover well."
Eiran stifled a chuckle, covering his mouth with his hands.
"Why are you laughing?" Ren turned toward the child, raising an eyebrow.
"Dad doesn’t want you to know he threatened everyone to treat you properly or they’d lose their lives—oops! I wasn’t supposed to say that," Eiran said quickly, glancing up at Zayden, who shot him a glare.
But Zayden soon let out a quiet laugh. "Fine. You snitch on me, I snitch on you." He sat down beside Ren on the mattress while the physician prepared the ointment for his wound. "Your son wasn’t eating anything."
"Dad!" Eiran gasped, scowling, his cheeks puffed. "You betrayed me!"
"No, you started this."
Ren watched the two bicker, the sound of their laughter soft and clumsy, yet comforting. A faint smile tugged at his lips despite the dull ache in his chest.
They weren’t the best actors—it was obvious they were only trying to lighten the mood.
Zayden’s gaze lingered on Ren a little longer until the man turned to look at him. He quickly turned, shifting his eyes to Eiran.
The weight on his chest had finally been lifted. Ren was fine—and he even accepted his feelings. For the first time in days, the room felt warm again. But then, another thought occurred to him—what now?
Eiran left the room not long after, saying he wanted to play. But Zayden saw through the little boy’s ’smart’ trick—it was just an excuse to leave him alone with Ren.
The physician departed soon after applying the medicine, and a maid entered to help Ren change into fresh clothes while Zayden waited outside.
The door swung open, and the maid bowed upon seeing the General.
"Are you done?" he asked, his voice hesitant.
"Yes, my lord. You may enter," she replied with a soft smile, keeping her head lowered as she walked away.
Zayden stood still for a long moment, debating whether to step inside. He wasn’t the kind to overthink things—but after seeing Ren on the brink of death, he couldn’t help but question every choice he’d made.
Perhaps he should have stayed in the forest. Yet, would that have changed anything? The assassin had been trailing him. No matter where he was, they would have been attacked all the same.
Or was it his confession? The kiss had distracted him, if only for a moment—and that moment had been enough for disaster to strike.
Zayden’s hand lingered on the doorknob, his fingertips pale from how tightly he held it. The faint scent of medicine seeped through the cracks, stinging his senses—reminding him of the one moment he wished he could erase from memory: Ren lying on the snow, blood pouring from his chest like a river.
He exhaled, low and unsteady. He had seen death countless times, yet never had it felt like this. Never had fear taken root so deeply inside him.
It wasn’t the fear of losing a comrade—it was the fear of losing him.
When he finally pushed the door open, it creaked softly, revealing Ren sitting upright on the bed, the pale light from the window tracing the soft outline of his face.
The man before him looked fragile—far too fragile for someone who had once stood fearlessly before him, shielding him even at the risk of his own life.
And at that moment, Zayden couldn’t bring himself to move any closer.
Ren noticed the hesitation in the General’s movements.
It seems like this incident had affected him deeply...
His gaze softened, pondering about what might have happened during those four days. He never imagined he would come to like this man—not to the point of risking his life for him.
Zayden swallowed hard, then approached the bed in quiet, careful steps.
"Take a seat," Ren said, shifting the blanket slightly to make space beside him.
The General obeyed, moving as if in a daze—like a loyal hound waiting for its master’s command. His head remained lowered, which surprised Ren.
Zayden never bowed his head to anyone, not unless it was to someone of higher rank. And between them, Ren held no such position.
"Why did you do that?..."
"Do what?" Ren asked, though he already knew.
"Why did you risk your life for me? I would’ve been just fine."
"Just fine?" Ren let out a faint snort, raising a brow. "My Lord—"
"It’s Zayden for you," the General interrupted softly.
Ren exhaled through his nose, eyes shutting briefly before opening again.
"That was a weapon made to kill demons, wasn’t it? You could have died."
"But it’s worse for you. You are a human. Do you think you have some superpowers?" Zayden replied, his voice low, steady although it laced with restrained fury.
"The whole empire needs you. You are the Imperial General," Ren stated, his gaze unwavering.
"And what about me?"
Ren blinked, perplexed.
"Pardon?"
"The empire needs me, but what about me? Did you not think of me at all when you decided to throw your life away?" His voice trembled under the weight of his words. "Just a few minutes before all that, I had told you I needed you. Did that not cross your mind when you simply told me to take care of Eiran before passing out?"
Ren’s throat went dry. No words came to his mouth, his mind blank.
"Eiran needs you. I need you. We need you," Zayden’s voice cracked, his restraint crumbling. "Do you know how I spent those four days?"
He reached for Ren’s hand but paused, his fingers shaking before he finally lifted it, pressing Ren’s palm against his cheek. His breath shuddered.
"I was going mad... thinking I had lost you. You decided to leave—but I couldn’t even follow you, because I wouldn’t abandon our son the way you tried to abandon us."
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