novelraw Chapter 313: Variety Show Tour (5)
Chapter 313: Variety Show Tour (5)
For a few days after the broadcast of our team’s and Choi Jeho’s team’s show, the variety show communities were practically plastered with Spark.
≫ Kim Iwol is a true master of office life
Give me a boss like Iwol
Give me a coworker like Iwol
Give me Kim Iwol
└ The last one’s your true feelings, right?
└ No, but isn’t the kid too well-versed in office life… If I had a coworker like Kim Iwol, I’d actually enjoy going to work for at least half the week
└ The firm conviction that even Kim Iwol couldn’t make you enjoy every day of work
└ I’m sorry, Iwol, but…
≫ This Worry Sharing Session is somehow healingIt reminded me of when I got my first salary notice as a rookie employee, so I couldn’t help but root for the sender
And I seriously hope SDH quits the program… He just didn’t seem to understand why the sender was struggling
└ I didn’t like SDH since a long time ago because he often made weird, tone-deaf remarks, but it was so obvious he couldn’t empathize with the office worker’s story at all. Maybe he just doesn’t understand how companies work, I don’t know
└ It’s probably because he hasn’t experienced company life ㅇㅇ I mean, how would a celebrity know what normal workers go through?
└ Even so, he’s older, yet the difference between him and idol Kim Iwol’s responses was huge. Kim Iwol showed himself carefully reading the story and trying his best to understand the sender’s situation, but SDH didn’t even do that
≫ I was just watching two guys grunting ‘uga-uga’ while starting a fire, and then suddenly I’m seeing these sophisticated men comforting a lonely office worker in a concrete jungle—my brain can’t process this
└ Come on, our kids didn’t go as far as going uga-uga
└ ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
≫ So why on earth have you memorized the Ministry of Employment and Labor’s counseling number, Kim Iwol? ㅋㅋㅋㅋ I can’t stop laughingㅋㅋㅋㅋ
No, don’t ever tell me the reason, it’s only funny if you don’t
└ I ended up memorizing it too while watching… The number is 1350, without an area code…
└ Ministry of Employment and Labor’s unofficial honorary ambassador, Mr. Kim (22 years old/idol)
≫ Thanks to Jeong Seongbin, a fully grown Sparkler burst into tears on the subway. What do I do with this baby angel?
└ What should we do with the baby leader who says he has never regretted becoming a leader? ㅠㅠㅠㅠ Damn it, we must raise our Seongbin with love
└ It’s so admirable that he told the sender they’d finish their project well because he also pulled through. Seongbin, you didn’t just do well, you did well because you’re youㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ
≫ It’s nice that the timeline is full of Spark, but the constant switching between urban civilization and prehistoric civilization is giving me whiplash
I hope one side returns to modern society as soon as possible
└ Worry Sharing Session is for 1 week, and Deserted Rest Island is for 2 weeks…
└ To think the Paleolithic was the main feature
The rumor that a certain idol group was roughing it out on a deserted island spread faster than anyone expected. Their humble shelter, shining faces, sculpted biceps, and the ignorance of trying to solve everything with strength shone on the short-form platform.
And so, even before the second week had started.
The highlight video of Choi Jeho and Kang Kiyeon’s ‘Deserted Rest Island,’ uploaded by the broadcasting station, had reached 1 million views.
* * *
Because the reaction to the deserted island variety show was good, we decided to film a ‘Watch the Deserted Rest Island Live’ episode as a self-produced content. Thanks to that, right now, with 5 minutes left until the broadcast time, we were all sitting in the company conference room, eyes fixed on a giant monitor, waiting to see what kind of heroic antics Choi Jeho and Kang Kiyeon would show us this time.
“I saw a comment that said we’re genuine idols.”
“We were genuine, that’s for sure. I just never imagined you’d actually have to sleep on the ground.”
At my words, Choi Jeho averted his gaze.
“The broadcast is starting…!”
Park Joowoo, who hadn’t taken his eyes off the screen even during the chat time, said. With the caption ‘Previously on…’, Choi Jeho and Kang Kiyeon’s rough day 1 was aired. Following that, the pillow-making time that had decorated the end of last week’s broadcast returned.
『Jeho: Wasn’t there any wire among the trash?』
『Kiyeon: There was… but wouldn’t that cut your hands if you use it wrong?』
『Jeho: We can just use banana leaves.』
『※ Deserted-Island Survival Tip: When you need something, just use banana leaves. It’ll probably work somehow.』
The captions were already unbelievable from the start. Moreover, Choi Jeho really did wrap both the wire and his hands in banana leaves and started to make a mark on the log as if he were flossing.
“Hey, if you do that wrong, you can really hurt your palm!”
“I checked while I was doing it.”
From Choi Jeho’s grasp, torn banana leaves fell one by one. His excellent assistant, Kang Kiyeon, meticulously performed a medical check and provided banana leaves without a break.
There was no way a log would split with just a piece of wire. A caption appeared—’One hour later’—but all they’d managed to do was scratch a faint cutting line on the wood.
『Kiyeon: At this rate, there’s no way we can cut it all the way through, right?』
『Jeho: I think it’ll be enough.』
『Kiyeon: Enough for what?』
Choi Jeho, who had put down the wire, picked up a stone. Then he struck the log with the stone along the line. Tree bark flew in all directions.
『Kiyeon: Ack! What are you doing?!』
『Jeho: If we carve a little groove and then step on it, it’ll break, won’t it?』
Choi Jeho, who had thoroughly beaten up the log, placed a stone under the wood. On the other side of the log, he had Kang Kiyeon sit down.
『Jeho: Hold it tight so it doesn’t tip over.』
Then he stomped on the frayed part—like cramming trash into an overstuffed garbage bag. After three kicks, a chunk of the log finally broke off.
“Is this for real…?”
Lee Cheonghyeon muttered in disbelief.
『Jeho: Want me to make one for you too?』
『Kiyeon: …Yes.』
The two repeated the same act again. Kang Kiyeon carefully wrapped the foot-made pillow with a banana leaf, saying that a branch would get stuck in his scalp if he used it as is.
『※ Deserted-Island Survival Tip: When you need something, just use banana leaves. It’ll probably work somehow.』
The caption I had seen earlier appeared again. I couldn’t lift my head.
* * *
A deserted island under the blazing sun. And…
『Kiyeon: Don’t even think about going back to land if you can’t fill your basket. Got it?』
『Jeho: Isn’t there kind of a huge size difference between your basket and mine?』
『Kiyeon: Don’t worry about the little things.』
…Two young men who still hadn’t managed to leave the ocean filled the screen. Kang Kiyeon was at least wearing a t-shirt, but Choi Jeho was completely topless.
Choi Jeho, who had caught two fish with his godly harpooning, picked up a handful of seaweed from the ground.
『Jeho: Can’t we just make seaweed soup with this?』
『Kiyeon: …Didn’t you just step on that?』
At Kang Kiyeon’s words, Choi Jeho gave up on the seaweed without any lingering attachment. I wasn’t even sure if that was the same as Korean seaweed in the first place.
『Jeho: How do they catch fish in the actual fish markets, anyway?』
『Kiyeon: Probably not with spears like us.』
A foolish conversation was also indispensable. Kang Kiyeon tried to dive in his own way, and caught a sea urchin, but let it go because it was too small.
Honestly, they were real fools. Fools who didn’t even realize that the urchin wasn’t small, their hands were just big.
The two of them couldn’t fill the bucket completely. But since it was high tide, they had to get out of the sea. They rinsed off in a little stream Choi Jeho had found while picking pineapples.
『Jeho: I should wash my pants too.』
『Kiyeon: Want me to bring your clothes over?』
『Jeho: Can’t I just wash these and carry them back?』
『Kiyeon: Then what are you planning to wear on the way to your bag?』
At Kang Kiyeon’s words, Choi Jeho stood up silently.
“Jeho.”
“What.”
“Starting tomorrow, how about practicing thinking of two things at once?”
I suggested gently. Choi Jeho didn’t answer.
On screen, the two fish were grilled over a blazing fire that shot up as if gasoline had been poured on it. They looked warm and happy.
Life on the deserted island was (for the viewer, at least) a constant struggle. When night fell, Choi Jeho and Kang Kiyeon, with soot on their faces, sat in front of the bonfire. Perhaps because they had run back and forth on the beach before sunset, they both looked a little sturdier.
For a late-night snack, they tore at the fish they had pulled from Kang Kiyeon’s fish trap.
『Kiyeon: We’re just eating like this, do you think it’ll even make enough footage?』
『Jeho: …Are we gonna get scolded by Kim Iwol?』
『Kiyeon: For someone worried, you sure look like you’re enjoying that fish.』
『Jeho: Want another piece?』
『Kiyeon: If I eat more here, I might gain weight.』
『Jeho: Then we’ll just run another lap afterward.』
We could also see the mature side of a hyung worrying about his dongsaeng’s troubles. Forcing myself to smile faintly because the cameras were still rolling—that was the real ordeal.
The climax appeared when Kang Kiyeon got into the pit to sleep.
Choi Jeho, after confirming that the maknae was asleep, in a surprisingly touching gesture, carefully placed a leaf over Kang Kiyeon’s face to keep mosquitoes away. His hands moved as gently as someone covering a pot of soup with its lid.
『The heart of a hyung, full of concern for his dongsaeng…』
At that caption, Jeong Seongbin buried his face in his hands and began to cry. Kang Kiyeon wiped his face, saying, ‘No wonder I smelled the scent of nature right in front of my nose…’
Life on the deserted island was full of ups and downs until the very end. It was only peaceful for themselves; from the outside, it was nothing but arduous. It was to the point where I thought, it was a miracle they pulled through in such a poor environment and an even poorer member composition.
Ah, at the end, a rather touching clip also came out.
Kang Kiyeon, who had been sleeping like Tutankhamun, would occasionally wake up, stir the bonfire, and check to see if the fire had gone out.
(TL note: Tutankhamun is an Egyptian pharaoh.)
『Writer: Mr. Kiyeon, you’re not asleep?』
『Kiyeon: I’m just checking if the fire’s still burning. Jeho hyung has bad night vision, he can’t move around well in the dark.』
Kang Kiyeon watched over the fire every single day for 4 days and 3 nights. He would add firewood, check to see if the smoke was spreading, and then go back to sleep. Choi Jeho, for his part, never woke up once, but it was a beautiful sight.
『PD: How was the experience for you two?』
『Jeho: It was fun. I hope the other members can come next time.』
『Kiyeon: If possible, I’d like smarter members to come.』
The production crew’s laughter could be clearly heard at Kang Kiyeon’s heartfelt words.
The preparations to leave the deserted island ended smoothly. It was possible because all their tools were from nature. Choi Jeho and Kang Kiyeon put their wooden pillows and banana leaf gloves into the holes they had slept in and covered them with dirt.
They packed the self-made fish traps and wires they had used into their bags, saying they would take them and throw them away.
Against the backdrop of a coastline where no trace of a person having stayed could be found, a phrase appeared: Where beautiful people stay, even their traces are beautiful. It was an eco-friendly and beautiful ending.