novelraw Chapter 311: Variety Show Tour (3)
Chapter 311: Variety Show Tour (3)
How long had it been since Seongbin and I came back from that disgraceful recording?
After a few days, Choi Jeho and Kang Kiyeon finally returned from the deserted island. With their hair in a complete mess.
“You didn’t actually record looking like that, did you?”
Over Kang Kiyeon’s shoulder, I could see Manager Chanyoung holding his forehead.
“They said naturalness was important.”
Choi Jeho answered casually. Naturalness being important isn’t the same as looking unkempt, is it?
I waited until the two poor guys finished cleaning themselves up. Then, after seating the freshly washed troublemakers on the sofa, I snapped at them.
“If Choi Jeho is going around looking like that, at least you should have stopped him, Kiyeon. What were you thinking, showing up in the exact same state?”
“Hyung.”
Kang Kiyeon said, looking at me with empty pupils.“Our appearance is not the problem.”
“What?”
“I’m just… really worried about how it’s going to look on air.”
Kang Kiyeon was serious. I was at a loss for words.
From a distance, I could hear Lee Cheonghyeon clutching his stomach and laughing.
* * *
Choi Jeho and Kang Kiyeon’s deserted island challenge aired exactly two weeks later. Since it was a primetime variety show on a public channel, the fans also had considerable expectations.
This expectation turned into a ‘great’ expectation when the two of them appeared in the preview.
‘The first in the history of ‘Deserted Rest Island’! Cast members sleeping without a house’
‘Hyung, are we really not going to build a house?’
‘Do we need one?’
‘Young bloods breaking the norms of common sense!’
‘Next week! Please look forward to the ‘Deserted Rest Island’ Spark episode!’
After the preview for the variety show ‘Deserted Rest Island’ was released, social media… literally went crazy.
≫ So did they really not build a house?
≫ Hahaha I’ve been watching ‘Deserted Rest Island’ since the first episode, but this is the first time I’ve seen cast members who don’t build a houseㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
≫ One of the three basic necessities of life is already goneㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
≫ The world is too harsh on Kiyeon, how could it give him such a trial?
└ Excuse me, is going to a deserted island with Jeho that big of a trial?
└ My kid doesn’t have a house right now, you know
└ I’m sorry
≫ They should have taken either Iwol or Seongbin with them, oh dear
What are you going to do, going to such a rough place by yourselves
└ What can two kids who only know how to dance do?
└ Jeho is the eldest hyung in his own way, but his reliability is 0
└ Well… because he is an emperor who knows nothing but dance
└ Maybe they’ll do a sea-harvest dance ritual so fish come easy
└ My idol, the master of the fish-harvest dance?
└ No…
└ ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
“…Are you going to watch it live?”
Choi Jeho, who had heard the news that the preview was out, asked, uncharacteristically being mindful of my reaction.
So he did realize he had messed up. Or maybe not; if he was aware of his wrongdoing at all it meant his range of thought was broader than I assumed.
But it was too late—recording was already done. If he hadn’t caused trouble, that was fine. If he did, then all I had to do was lock him in the basement practice room and nag him, giving him only lettuce, until he had memorized the 128 commandments of an idol.
“Of course, we have to watch it.”
I answered curtly.
“All six of us will gather cozily in front of the TV and watch it all from beginning to end.”
At my words, Choi Jeho responded with silence. The guy returned to his room without a word.
A few weeks later, we really did all gather in the living room in time for the airing of ‘Deserted Rest Island.’ Since we were all getting taller vertically, the living room of the new dorm was starting to feel cramped.
After each of us took a piece of the balloon flower root jeonggwa that the managers had given us a while ago in commemoration of our 1st anniversary and waited, the intro of the broadcast began.
『The visitors to this rest island are revealing themselves from afar…』
With the subtitles, the figures of two people appeared beyond the blurred screen.
How dare you walk so leisurely in front of the camera? Instant minus point.
When the two impudent guys arrived in front of the production team, their faces came into focus.
『Hello, I’m Spark’s Jeho.』
『I’m Kiyeon. I look forward to working with you!』
Thankfully, the introductions were polite, and flashy footage of Spark’s stage moments rolled over them. It was the so-called cast introduction time.
『The rising new stars, Spark’s dance line.』
『What will the deserted island conquest of the eldest hyung and the maknae be like?』
After the flashy stage makeup and outfits, two people in simple clothes appeared. The camera panned over Choi Jeho and Kang Kiyeon’s full bodies.
『PD: You two packed very lightly, huh?』
『Kiyeon: Because you take everything away as soon as filming starts…』
『Jeho: We just brought clothes.』
Then Choi Jeho suddenly opened his bag. The inside of the bag was hastily pixelated. He would have put his clothes on top, of course. And yet the vaguely visible piece of cloth, due to the pixelation, looked like underwear.
『☆ (In a different sense) Thorough preparation ☆』
Lee Cheonghyeon, who saw the subtitles, rolled on the floor laughing. I, for one, did not find a single ounce of humor in it.
After an airplane and a boat appeared in turn, the background quickly changed to an exotic sea. While the high-quality, high-performance camera was filming the clear sky and the dazzling surface of the water…
『PD: What are you two doing?』
『Jeho: We’re putting on sunscreen.』
『Kiyeon: They said for this kind of sunlight you should apply it three times.』
『PD: Is there a separate guideline for that?』
『Kiyeon: Yes. There’s a member named Iwol hyung, and that hyung set it.』
…Choi Jeho and Kang Kiyeon were busy slathering sunscreen on their faces and arms. That, at least, earned a compliment. Though Kang Kiyeon himself wasn’t watching the TV.
The two of them meticulously checked each other’s skin to see if there were any empty spots. Just as I was about to be moved by their true professional appearance, the boat docked.
『PD: Normally, we confiscate personal belongings as soon as you arrive on the island… but I don’t think we need to today.』
『Jeho: Should we show you just in case?』
『PD: No, I don’t think we need to see it.』
“Why even ask that if you only brought clothes and sunscreen?”
“Something could have been slipped in.”
“Haa…”
I gave up on talking to Choi Jeho.
『PD: You will now have to survive on this deserted island for 4 days and 3 nights.』
As soon as the PD finished speaking, an image summarizing the program’s brief rules appeared. It explained that from eating to sleeping, everything except for ‘clothes’, had to be solved with items on the deserted island.
The viewers’ consensus was that they only allowed clothes because anything like leaf clothing would be unpresentable on TV.
『Kiyeon: Should we build a house first? I think we have to move diligently to be able to get something to eat in the evening.』
Kang Kiyeon said, looking at the sun. It seemed to have taken a long time to get there, as the sun was setting.
Choi Jeho, who seemed to be thinking for once, opened his mouth.
『Jeho: Do we need a house?』
『Kiyeon: What?』
What the f*ck?
『Jeho: The weather is nice. Can’t we just cover ourselves with a big leaf and sleep?』
I doubted both my eyes and ears. I looked to the side, and Jeong Seongbin also had a horrified expression.
『Kiyeon: …Shall we?』
“What do you mean, ‘shall we’?!”
Tears flowed from Lee Cheonghyeon’s eyes as he shouted. Bloody tears flowed from my heart.
『Jeho: Let’s just find something to eat in that time. When we sleep, we can just dig a hole in the ground and lie down.』
Under Choi Jeho’s extraordinary remark, a subtitle was added: ‘The personification of easygoingness.’
I couldn’t hold it in any longer and lectured Choi Jeho.
“You took a kid with you and made him sleep on the ground? Are you even human?”
To be honest, I had a little bit of hope. That he just said that, and that he built a proper house after that. That he at least made a hut.
However, Choi Jeho belonged to a new species that my average civilian mind couldn’t comprehend.
“The weather was nice, so it was fine.”
I couldn’t help closing my eyes. I knew a crease was forming between my brows and I couldn’t stop it. I felt like going to a karaoke room and screaming my lungs out.
* * *
Choi Jeho and Kang Kiyeon walked along the coast, picking up ocean trash. I mean real trash, not useful things like buckets.
『Jeho: Why is there so much trash? When people leave the island they should at least take it with them.』
『Kiyeon: Should we gather it in one place?.』
『Jeho: I guess so. They say… turtles shouldn’t eat this stuff.』
『Kiyeon: Do you think turtles will come this far?.』
As they spoke, the two of them gathered the trash in a pile like a mountain and, after finding some discarded buckets, slung one over each of their shoulders.
『Jeho: Let’s split up here. You go to the shore. I’ll go to the mountain.』
『Kiyeon: Okay. Let’s meet here around sunset.』
The two of them coolly parted ways. There wasn’t even a conversation like, ‘I’ll go pick something! You do this!’
『PD: Did you decide on some kind of role division beforehand?』
『Kiyeon: No, Jeho hyung probably doesn’t think that far.』
Kang Kiyeon’s blunt comment stayed on screen as a caption. He averted his gaze awkwardly. However, his words were right.
『Writer: Mr. Jeho, what are you looking for?』
『Jeho: …Just whatever?』
Tears welled up in my eyes as I watched Choi Jeho standing alone in the mountains without a plan. What kind of wealth and glory was I hoping for, sending him there? I should have gone instead, even if it meant getting 300 mosquito bites.
My heart ached, and I was about to turn off the TV, but then Choi Jeho started picking up a banana leaf that had fallen on the ground. Then he put one leaf on his body.
『Jeho: Don’t you think two of these would make a blanket?』
『Writer: ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ』
『Jeho: I think one would be enough for Kang Kiyeon.』
『Writer: Ack ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ』
Even as he said that, Choi Jeho diligently gathered six banana leaves. One for a mat and two for a blanket, he said. Not even the Sparklers could have imagined their idol would end up sleeping rough on a deserted island.
After that, Choi Jeho continued to diligently wander the mountain paths. He picked bananas from the place where he had picked up the banana leaves and showed off the amazing feat of throwing a stone at a coconut he had discovered, only to have the stone get stuck in the coconut.
“Don’t you know how to use tools?”
“I did use one.”
“What, you mean the rock?”
“Yeah.”
I bet there was a ‘Jae-straloh erectus’ between Australopithecus and Homo erectus. He would have walked on two legs and hunted beasts with a stone in each hand. I could picture it already.
Choi Jeho, making full use of his height to pick the coconuts that were in relatively low places, returned to the rendezvous point with a full bucket.