novelraw Chapter 269: Roommate Wanted
Chapter 269: Roommate Wanted
Lee Cheonghyeon let out a deep sigh with a pained expression. He pushed his bangs back with his hand—Spark had a rule that members could only reveal their foreheads on camera when their hair was slicked back for styling purposes.
“As you all know, Iwol hyung nags a lot. And becoming his roommate? Might as well say goodbye to your free will.”
“What kind of nagging did you mainly hear, Mr. Cheonghyeon?”
At this, Jeong Seongbin even stepped up as the MC.
“If I say this… I wonder if rumors of discord will arise in our team…”
Give me a break.
Lee Cheonghyeon wiped his dry eyes. Park Joowoo patted him on the shoulder. Honestly, it was shocking that Park Joowoo even knew how to do this kind of skit.
“If I forget sunscreen again, he says it’s neglect of duty and threatens to report a series of offenses to Bubblepop. If my toner isn’t running out, he accuses me of not applying it after washing my face. If my sleep talking lacks clear diction, he questions whether I was dreaming of rapping and suggests my pronunciation needs work. And if it wasn’t a rap dream, he says my sleep quality is poor and makes me clean off everything on my bed by tomorrow to improve my sleep environment…”
For a guy who was worried about discord rumors, the words poured out of Lee Cheonghyeon’s mouth smoothly.
“Regarding this point, does Jeho hyung, who is also a roommate, agree?”At Jeong Seongbin’s question, Choi Jeho looked at me.
“Is there anyone who doesn’t know that Kim Iwol nags a lot?”
“Hyung, you should expose him, too, while you’re at it. I will share my precious speaking time with you.”
Without anyone knowing when he’d claimed it, Lee Cheonghyeon readily gave his ‘speaking time’ to Choi Jeho.
“I don’t remember well… but he just generally makes this face.”
Choi Jeho crossed his arms and made a very displeased-looking face. Seeing that, Lee Cheonghyeon burst into laughter. The guy even clapped like a seal, saying that Choi Jeho’s face was exactly like mine.
It was ridiculous. I was, once again, made out to be the weirdo.
I waited for my turn and counterattacked with a report that contained not a single lie. However, the guys’ condemnation of me did not cease. Forget roommates—by the halfway point, I seriously felt like saying I’d just sleep in the shoe closet.
* * *
After the spectacular roommate introductions, it was time to decide on the new roommates. I wondered if anyone would even want to be my roommate, but I had no choice.
“How do we decide on roommates…?”
At the perfect timing, Park Joowoo threw out the question.
Usually, it was either by nomination or drawing lots, but after making such a big deal of it, wouldn’t they do something new?
Just as I was thinking I might be expecting too much from UA, Jeong Seongbin flipped his cue card and asked a question in return.
“Everyone, you know the term ‘collective intelligence,’ right?”
Everyone nodded. It was a topic that had also appeared on ‘Shining Star, K-Civil Service Exam Winner,’ so they’d definitely know it.
“Today’s second corner is to find the optimal roommates by putting our six heads together!”
“Awesome.”
Lee Cheonghyeon covered his mouth with his hands.
Awesome, indeed. I wondered if we’d even finish this corner today.
* * *
There’s a saying that too many cooks spoil the broth.
And Spark…
“Kang Kiyeon has to be in the same room as me, I’m telling you!”
“You’re just trying to lie about coming in late from the studio. Don’t use me for your petty lies.”
…not a group where six rowers paddle in sync, but rather one where six guys each grab one oar with one arm and row in different directions.
Not long after I thought they had matured, the side of them that seemed like they would all order different things at a Chinese restaurant was revived. I felt like shouting, ‘We’re busy, so please unify the menu.’
“Cheonghyeon, do you want to be in the same room as me…?”
“If I room with you, won’t I start hallucinating the sound of an electric guitar every night?”
“…No way.”
“What’s with the pause at the beginning?”
Park Joowoo averted his gaze from Lee Cheonghyeon. Seemed like both Jeong Seongbin and Kang Kiyeon had experienced similar symptoms.
“Let’s definitely put Iwol hyung with Seongbin hyung.”
Even I, who had been quiet, got dragged into it. It was Kang Kiyeon who had pointed me out.
“If I spend too long with a superior, I get dizzy.”
“I’m not your superior, hyung.”
“Seongbin, you’re our team’s team leader.”
When I showed him my boss-exclusive smile, Jeong Seongbin flinched.
“Hyung does need a brake.”
Lee Cheonghyeon also lent his support to Kang Kiyeon’s opinion. What’s the use of you guys putting on the brakes? The system is flooring the accelerator.
“Let’s go by process of elimination. First, Jeho hyung’s out.”
“We have to exclude Joowoo hyung too. It’s either you, me, or Seongbin hyung.”
“You’re out too. If we put you and hyung together, you’ll both just happily stay up all night, won’t you?”
“When did our Mr. Kiyeon get so smart? I thought you wouldn’t know if I tried to sell you as a package deal.”
Lee Cheonghyeon and Kang Kiyeon whispered amongst themselves. It was preposterous.
“I’m fine with sleeping in the living room.”
I timidly expressed my opinion, but no one listened. They just had a heated debate over who would take the troublesome Kim Iwol.
“First, Seongbin hyung and Kang Kiyeon, are you two willing to share a room with Iwol hyung?”
“Of course.”
“I’m fine with it.”
Without even asking for my opinion, Lee Cheonghyeon, Jeong Seongbin, and Kang Kiyeon continued their discussion among themselves.
“But if Iwol hyung and Seongbin hyung share a room, won’t Iwol hyung get three marks and meet his end?”
“We’re going to lose our eldest hyung…?”
Park Joowoo trembled. Disposal by the organization leader. It was not unfamiliar.
“I don’t think a particularly good interaction will come from putting him with Kang Kiyeon.”
At this point, even Choi Jeho chimed in. I was getting nervous — at this rate, I really would end up with Jeong Seongbin.
“Can’t you give me the right to speak too?”
When I raised my hand and spoke, the guys’ heads turned towards me.
“I… want to share a room with Cheonghyeon.”
“Oh my.”
Lee Cheonghyeon shyly brought his two hands to his mouth.
But if I don’t do this, we’ll both die. We wouldn’t be able to meet the composition deadline, and I wouldn’t be able to check the system details in time. For us to survive, we had no choice but to join forces and cover Jeong Seongbin’s eyes.
Fortunately, Lee Cheonghyeon seemed to have caught my intention.
“I also welcome sharing a room with you, hyung. Can we be paired first?”
However, my and Lee Cheonghyeon’s dream was thoroughly crushed.
“The owl group will be split up, no matter what.”
Jeong Seongbin said firmly, without a hint of hesitation. It was not our fault we were born night owls. Couldn’t they respect our free-range lives?
“Then what options are there for the owl group?”
At my question, Jeong Seongbin pondered. Then he presented two options.
“First, taking Kiyeon. Second, taking Joowoo.”
“Those are both awful, Seongbin.”
If I became roommates with Kang Kiyeon, I wouldn’t even be able to breathe. Look at that sharp gaze. I wouldn’t even be able to use a laptop in bed out of fear.
If I became roommates with Park Joowoo, I wouldn’t be able to breathe in a different way. Because Park Joowoo couldn’t sleep unless it was quiet. I wouldn’t be able to use a keyboard, let alone a diary.
“I need a bit of breathing room. Please give me a third option.”
“I’m the only one left, are you okay with that?”
Jeong Seongbin asked, placing a hand on his chest.
Honestly, you’re not ideal either, but… Still, Jeong Seongbin wouldn’t have a nervous breakdown because of me.
“I will, if you promise to only give me a few marks.”
I decided to compromise with reality appropriately. Jeong Seongbin smiled and agreed.
“Then we’ll put Seongbin hyung and Iwol hyung in one room. Congratulations on the birth of the first combination!”
Lee Cheonghyeon connected my and Jeong Seongbin’s name magnets in a line and induced applause.
Life with the leader, huh. It seemed I’d need an adjustment period for a while after we moved out.
* * *
≫ A hoodie from Choi Jeho that’s oversized even on 180cm Lee Cheonghyeon? This just doesn’t make sense
└ Our kid’s feet stick out past the bed frame, he’s seriously tallㅋㅋㅋ
└ But it’s natural, Choi Jeho is 187cm… In front of his hyung, Lee Cheonghyeon is just a baby
└ But it did seem like they shared a closetㅋㅋ
└ It’s not sharing, Jeho’s just having his clothes stolen one-sidedly
└ But Cheonghyeon gave him a dust bag in return
└ Excuse me, but that was something Cheonghyeon was going to throw awayㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
≫ Apparently Joowoo washes the members’ bedding in the washing machine whenever he has a breakㅠㅠㅠㅠ
Our Joowoo was a baby angel cleaning fairy… we must supply 1 Joowoo per household
└ The killing point is that only Cheonghyeon is horrified and declines because he has a lot of stuff on his bed
└ The captions ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Mr. Lee who lives with things piled up on his bedㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
└ Is it just me who finds it funny that sometimes Seongbin makes animals out of towels and puts them on after Joowoo changes the bedding?
└ ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ That’s just like those towel animals you sometimes see in hotel room service photos
└ Jeong Seongbin is really weird… He doesn’t seem weird because he’s surrounded by other weirdos, but he really is weird…
└ Mr. Jeong Seongjun, who teaches how to make animals out of towels and and drives his hyung crazy… I miss you. Please consider making a formal guest appearance
≫ So, are Jeho and Joowoo roommates or what?
Jeho, I won’t say much. I just highly recommend you buy an electronic drum set as soon as possible
└ ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
≫ The maknae-line as roommates
Thank you… thank you… I will never forget this grace for the rest of my life…
└ I think this room will be the loudest, for real
└ It’s also so goated of them to give the biggest room to the maknaes for Kiyeon to stretch and Cheonghyeon to put his equipment
└ I’m going crazy, are we supposed to start calling them ‘goats’ now?
The roommate self-produced content gave a huge stimulus to Baek Haewon’s boring daily life.
The fact that her kids, who had debuted less than a year ago, had grown enough to move dorms, and the strong bond between the members, filled Baek Haewon’s heart.
Moreover…
≫ Kim Iwol ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Cheonghyeon’s strength: makes the room beautiful ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
└ It’s also funny how he wrote ‘Cheonghyeon’ for his dongsaeng but ‘Choi Jeho’ for his same-age friend ㅋㅋㅋ No mercy
≫ Isn’t it so heartwarming how Seongbin said the maknae has no weakness?
└ Seongbin, if you do that, what does that make Iwol?
└ Iwol is just exceptionally objective
≫ The really consistent thing about Iwol is
Things unrelated to idols: quietly considerate
Things related to idols: goes berserk like an angry shih tzu
He doesn’t even look like a Shih Tzu but somehow he is one
└ But if it were me, I’d also be a little scared if my roommate knew that my toner wasn’t going down
└ It’s okay, we’re not Spark
…the fact that her bias was consistently weird also made Baek Haewon proud.
‘If they just slay the year-end stage now, I’ll have no more wishes left.’
Please, broadcasting station bastards, give our Spark some generous airtime. No, please. I beg you.
Today, too, Baek Haewon prayed as she voted for a new awards ceremony. It seemed like it would be a busy year-end.
* * *
Spark’s new promotion succeeded in achieving unprecedented results.
All figures, such as album sales, buzz volume, and music video and fancam views, rose overwhelmingly. This was despite the fact that the previous album, MISSION, had already performed excellently.
The cosmetics ad exposure brought in new people, and those newcomers naturally dug through Spark’s mountain of self-made content and albums to find what suited their taste.
There was so much content hoarded by this rookie group that it completely blocked any exit for people who were just trying a taste before leaving. And when longtime fans started to drift during the busy end-of-year season, the official content and relationships in the album pulled them right back in.
We also saw the effect of barely winning first place on the last broadcast of their previous promotion. After winning first place once, Spark was able to win first place again, at least on cable.
As a result, my current KPI progress was…
+
[SYSTEM] The progress of ‘Subordinate’s’ KPI ‘Capturing the Hearts of Potential Customers’ is notified to ‘Subordinate.’
▷ 4,819/10,000
+
…extremely smooth.
It seemed the impact of white-haired Kim Iwol was quite something. He had even trended in real-time for ‘Nnet white hair.’
Excluding the time I collapsed on a live broadcast, this was the first time I had trended alone.
Being busy with events and schedules was also a blessing. Working to the bone was a hundred, a thousand times better than a hiatus.
But of course, nothing in life was without trials.
“A girl group stage cover?”
As the year-end approached, Spark received a task that’s notoriously difficult for boy groups.