A Jaded Life

Chapter 1314

When I awoke the next morning, I felt a strange weight on my chest. My first thought was that it would be Luna, but when I opened my eyes, I realised that the hair covering the head I felt on my chest had the wrong colour to be my daughter’s. It was, however, the exact colour of the hair on the head I had put to bed the night before, weaving magic to ward off nightmares.

“Wake up, Jess,” I commanded, not willing to remain in such an intimate position with a woman I barely knew, but also unwilling to physically toss a pregnant woman from bed. For a moment, nothing happened beyond a bit of squirming, so I started to shake her shoulder, forcing her to wake up.

She finally woke, mumbled, still out of it and ignorant of the situation, until her brain engaged enough to figure out where she was. That realisation caused a high-pitched squeal, alongside an apparently instinctual attempt to burrow back into her pillow to hide from the world. The only problem was that her pillow hadn’t been one, but she had rested her head on my chest and was now trying to burrow into said chest. While my breasts weren’t on the large side, her attempt to bury into them felt… weird, to say the least. Weird, uncomfortable and almost violating, to the point that the only thing stopping me from physically tossing her from the bed, and halfway across the room, was a certain instinct. One I would have to examine later, once I managed to get rid of the intruder in my bed and chest.

“Wake up, damn it!” I repeated my earlier command, this time with a touch of added anger, causing her to freeze in her tracks. Or maybe she had finally realised that the warm softness she was burying her head in wasn’t a pillow. The squeal that escaped her this time gave me some weird and uncomfortable feelings, and moments later, I had to reach out to grab her, or she would have ended up face down on the floor, as her legs were tangled in the sheets and foiled her attempt to escape. Ultimately, she ended up lying next to me, completely bewildered by the sequence of events.

“What happened!?” she asked, her voice at least an octave higher than it had been the night before, her eyes wide and somewhat wild.

“No idea,” I admitted, “Last night, we put you to bed over there,” I gestured to the empty bed she had originally slept in, “Now, you wake up here, I’ve got no earthly idea how that happened. Unless…” I let my voice trail off, looking at Luna, who had woken up in the commotion and looked quite amused.

“Dear, did you play a prank on us?” I asked, uncertain if I should be amused at the possibility or angry. Or maybe both.

“No, I promise,” Luna shook her head, though the grin didn’t vanish from her face. “It might have to do something with the bed, I ended up over here the night before, so who knows?” She shrugged, portraying the perfect picture of innocence.

“Right…” I drawled, “The bed is at fault, why haven’t I considered that. It likely woke up during the night and dumped Jess over here.” I continued, the sarcasm in my voice thick enough to serve as a breadspread.

“Maybe,” she nodded, her face still projecting that facade of innocence, “Or it might be a little uncomfortable and cold, so when you return after heading to the bathroom at night, you instinctively seek out warmth and the warm embrace of a mother,” she suggested, the grin getting just a little wider at the suggestion.

For a moment, I was tempted to refute the idea, or to suggest that I was only the mother to Lia and her, but given that one of the divine identities I was growing into was literally the Mother, who knew if that had some influence on Jess. I certainly didn’t, and I wasn’t about to contemplate it right now.

“Anyway, did you sleep well?” I asked, hoping to dispel some of the awkwardness that had settled over the room.

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“Yes,” Jess nodded, completely unable to look me in the eye as she was untangling herself from the sheets. Her face could have doubled as a heatlamp; the blush was bright enough to be visible from orbit, making her embarrassment as obvious as it could ever be.

“That’s good,” I nodded to myself, “Would you mind if I take another glance at your mind?”

“Will…” she began to say something, only to stop herself immediately. “Yes, you can.” She agreed after a few seconds of contemplation.

Reaching out, I placed my hands on the sides of her head again, gently touching her temples as I channelled my magic. The physical touch wasn’t necessary, but it made delicate work a lot easier.

The bindings I had placed around the memories were still intact, keeping them locked into her subconscious. It was quite interesting how different clusters of memories were linked by different associations, and how my bindings interacted with those associations. From what I could tell, her mind had started to associate the horrible memories with mundane things. Bright light might make her think of the light that had burned her boyfriend, or the smell of charred meat would trigger memories of him at the stake.

The bindings, as they were right now, prevented most of those associations, so she would recall these memories only if she deliberately sought them out, actively trying to remember what had happened. It wasn’t a perfect solution, but the best I could come up with for now.

“Things should calm down, but I’d like to try something,” I told her, considering my options to help her.

“What do you have in mind?” she asked, the earlier embarrassment apparently faded enough for her to speak normally and look at me without sending heat signals to outer space.

“For now, I have placed bindings around those memories, so they won’t just pop into your mind randomly. Instead, you’ll only remember them when you deliberately try to remember,” I explained. “However, that’s not an actual solution; it only pushes dealing with the trauma back, allowing you to function in the moment. I would like to start untangling those bindings, and we experience the memory together. That way, I can anchor your mind and provide a measure of objectivity. Hopefully, that will blunt the impact those memories will have going forward.”

For a moment, she simply stared at me, only for her eyes to dip down a little, and the earlier flush returned with a vengeance. Letting out a sigh, I realised that now wasn’t a good time to work on those memories, especially as they would likely have some intimate connotations to them. Given what had happened just earlier between us, and keeping in mind that I would have to be very careful with my own memories, so I wouldn’t accidentally reveal information I wanted to keep quiet, this wasn’t the right time to make this particular attempt.

Hopefully, with a bit of work, some distractions and time, Jess’ current mindset would fade, and I would get my own mind under better control, just in case. I had no interest in giving away that I was carrying some guilt for what had happened in the Blessed City, or people might ask questions. I would probably be able to deflect, suggesting I was feeling guilty because I had noticed that Sunna was doing problematic things, but didn’t interfere earlier, but that wasn’t guaranteed to work.

“Very well,” I said, my voice carefully flat, “Why don’t we all get ready for the day? I’ve certainly got more than enough work to do with the different buildings, getting everything up to spec, so nobody feels like the newcomers are some sort of freeloaders because they got better accommodations conjured,” I shook my head, trying to avoid getting contaminated by such idiotic ideas.

“Jess, do you want to stick with me for the day? I’ll be working on the fields, you might learn something,” Luna offered when Jess didn’t look certain what to do with herself.

“Yes, please,” she immediately accepted, relief written clearly on her face.

“Excellent,” I rose, noticing once again how Jess’ eyes seemed to follow me a little too closely. “Let’s get to it,” I added, shooing the two girls out of the bed and into action. Getting dressed was a slightly different kind of awkward, especially when I noticed Jess’ eyes linger on my body a little too long, but that was an issue I could deal with at a later point. For now, I had better things to do. The day was young, and we all had work to do.

And, who was to say that this apparent crush wouldn’t be useful at some point in the future? It might help me figure out a few additional things about the Mind, emotions, and memory storage. Or I would have to figure out a way to gently break Jess of it. I’d just have to see.