Perfect Mistake

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

Simone startled awake. Early morning light filled the room, creating quiet shadows, but she could have sworn someone had knocked. She turned and looked toward the glass door. Carlo stood outside, hands shoved in his pockets, his silhouette framed by the undrawn curtains.

In a second everything that had passed the previous night flooded back and she moaned, her relaxed body hurtled back into tense muscles and hammering heart.

She got out of bed and grabbed the hotel robe that she’d tossed to the floor the night before, stumbled to the door and fumbled with the lock. Carlo calmly lowered the handle, opened the door and let the crisp morning air in.

“Did you sleep okay?” he asked, his eyes searching her face.

“Yes.” She shivered, out of her cozy cocoon. She couldn’t remember getting under the duvet during the night.

“The vehicle is ready. We can go as soon as you are.” He was dressed, shaved, smelled divine and was probably…battle fit.

She searched his face. He wasn’t impatient—yet. “Okay.” There was no going back. His eyes looked drained and heavy. He didn’t look in shape for flying.

“Did you sleep…much?”

“As much as can be expected.” He dropped his gaze. “I’d like to apologize. Before we get on that plane.” He looked up again. “Together.”

Together. The way he said it implied so much. An unwanted heat spread to her cheeks. “Don’t—”

“I regret some of the things I said last night—”

“Carlo—”

“Let me finish. I might never have the guts to say this again.”

She bit her lip to stop its trembling, her hands clinging to the robe’s belt, which she’d tied too tight in a rushed knot.

“It was unfair to say you kept our daughter a dirty secret. To think what you’ve gone through these past years, without any support, I—” He faltered.

She closed her eyes. “There is some truth in what you said,” she whispered. The last bit of fear dissolved and she opened her eyes. He looked desperate, lost, and unsure. So unlike the man that ruled Carlevaro and deep down owned her heart.

“I won’t take her away from you, Mona.”

“I know.” The Carlo from those first weeks, who still lurked underneath the layers of stress, would never do that.

“But I want to be involved.”

“I understand, but we’ll have to talk about that.” It was a course she’d chosen, but how was it going to work with him in Italy and her and Sarah in Dar es Salaam?

“Sure.”

“Let’s just start with today.”

“Okay.” He shifted on his feet. “There’s something else I need to know before we leave here.”

Something in his voice made her pause. “What?”

“I had a call from Julia. She spoke to Peppe about the reasons why he re-hired you.”

A chill crept down her back but there was no longer any reason why Carlo couldn’t dig into anything he wanted.

“Were you ever—” He exhaled deeply, his gaze darting, as he struggled to find words. “Violated?” He almost choked on the word as he met her gaze steadily. “By anybody in the pilots’ digs? During the time you stayed there alone? Once I’d left?”

He sounded so pained, almost embarrassed, and she contracted inwardly. “No.” She shook her head. “Why? Why would you think that?” She inhaled a shaky breath as the realization hit her. “Are you thinking you are not Sarah’s father…and that I’m trying to shackle you with a daughter so that you can pay child support?”

“Fuck, Simone.” He gave a frustrated growl. “Stop doubting my every intention. Distrusting every question.” He raked his hands through his hair. “That’s what Peppe thought and why he set you up as he did, in your own apartment. A result of his guilt trip, for which I am grateful. Just the idea—”

She raised her hands to stop him. She had to pick up the pieces of her broken trust in him. He was back in her life; he was going to be with Sarah today. Tomorrow. Possibly as often as he could manage. At some point, she was going to have to trust him with her daughter, alone.

“I’m sorry.” She swallowed and met his gaze. “I’m still edgy.”

He rubbed at his forehead. “Julia is scared that…stuff has been happening here.”

“I was careful, once you were gone.” She hadn’t lived in the digs for more than a month after he’d left. “But I wouldn’t put it beyond some of the guys who stayed there.” Who were still staying there.

He nodded with a shift in his shoulders, a heave of relief. “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something like that had happened to you…to any woman in our employ.”

She closed her eyes. “I told you how she was made.” She barely whispered the words. She no longer knew how to make things better, to find the clean start she’d been craving.

He inhaled in a slow breath. “Yes.”

Without thinking she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself up to his hard body in a hug. His arms circled her and he drew her tightly to him with a sigh. He dropped his head, inhaling into her curls, his nose resting against the sensitive skin at her temple. She could have stood like that forever, soaking up his quiet strength.

They could kiss things better. A shudder of pleasure rushed down her body, settling in her core, where her need for him had been quietly keeping beat the past few days.

His hands traveled down her back in a soft, lingering caress as if he’d read her reaction to him, to the mere idea of him. “Get going, cara. I’ll wait for you at the car.”

She stepped away and nodded, suddenly shy. He walked away, but when she returned to her room she found her cell phone next to her bed, the used tissues in a little pile on the bedside table. She hadn’t put them there.

Carlo. He had been there during the night, tucked her in and cared for her. Salvaging what was left of their relationship. She wished he’d gotten in bed with her, but the time hadn’t been right.

****

Simone landed the aircraft without a bump. They’d flown in silence for most of the flight to Dar es Salaam; the intense atmosphere between them had been replaced by cautious anticipation. There was much to talk over, but everything hinged on Carlo meeting Sarah.

As she taxied the plane to the parking on the apron Carlo wiped at his brow for the hundredth time. During the flight, he’d kept checking his watch and the instruments as if it would make them get there faster.

She turned to him once she’d parked the plane, and they took off their headsets. For once she had the upper hand in the situation. “Nervous?” she asked him.

He chuckled. “Yes. Believe it or not.”

“Just be yourself.” It sounded cheesy, but under all those layers was the man she had fallen in love with.

“That’s not very encouraging.” He sighed and rubbed at his forehead as if he could rid himself of the etched lines on it.

“No.” She laughed and he shot her a wry grin. “Stop scowling. And relax. She’ll see right through you. Kids are like that.”

“I’ll follow your lead, then.”

“Come. I’ll get them to refuel so that she’s ready to go…when you are.” She didn’t want to think too far ahead. Carlo might be here now, but he would be gone again pretty soon. One more reason to approach the day with caution, to make sure her already grappling heart didn’t cave in completely. She couldn’t cope with him leaving her a second time, once she’d given in to him.

They walked in silence to the Carlevaro Air offices, the wheels of their luggage protesting against the rough tar. The office was situated at the end of a dark corridor in the terminal building, with its windows overlooking the apron. It was a busy satellite office with twelve employees who managed the administration and maintenance of the Carlevaro Air fleet.

“When will they refuel?” Carlo asked.

“They’ll do it later.” She checked her watch. “After lunch. I’ll put in a request when we hand in the keys.”

They stopped in front of the security gate at the door, and Simone rang the bell. She glanced at the coveted corner office, where the fleet manager sat at his desk, busy on a call. Now that Carlo knew about Sarah, it could spoil her chances of being promoted. Or would Sarah be the weight that tipped the scale in her favor? Ross would be so pissed off she’d never hear the end of it. Maybe it was time to move on.

The gate buzzed open, and she led the way, saying hello to the staff who were busy at their desks. They all smiled and were glad to see her, which was heartwarming. She didn’t miss any of the gazes that jumped from her to Carlo and back again. The whole office drew in a quiet, apprehensive breath.

“So you want to spend your days in here?” Carlo asked as they navigated the clusters of desks.

“I’ll still get to fly occasionally. I need to diversify.”

“It’s a desk job, and long hours.” He didn’t sound pleased.

Was he thinking of Sarah? She’d been a working mother out of need, but also choice. Reduced hours would be great, but it was the overnights she really needed to ditch. Maybe she could negotiate that, with him backing her, if the promotion fell through. She didn’t want to abuse the situation; it would make her feel weak after she’d come this far on her own.

“If I don’t make the move now it’s only going to get harder.”

“True. Still working on that five-year plan of yours?”

For the past few years, her own plans were made in relation to Sarah’s needs, and her ability to afford what her child would need next. She recalled his words to her that first night. “That was your five-year plan.”

Carlo chuckled. “Those tend to go for a tumble. I should know.” He sighed. “Arrogant assumption that we can have it all planned out. We’re all at the beck and call of something.”

They stopped in front of an administration assistant’s desk. Behind her was a large wall-mounted electronic safe. Inside the open, upright box were several rows of pegged keys.

“Hey Rebecca. Keys for the DHC Twin Otter. It’s parked on A3.” Simone handed over the keys. “If you can arrange for a refuel and maintenance check today still?”

“Sure.” Rebecca pushed a logbook toward Simone. She watched as Simone signed for the return of the keys.

Simone glanced at Carlo. “I’m not sure when we’re leaving again, but she must be ready for us to fly out at a moment’s notice.”

“You won’t be flying,” Carlo said drily.

Confused, she turned to him, but heat crept up to her neck. He was dictating her life already. “What do you mean?”

“You need to be at home.” His tone did not invite any further discussion. “One of the standby pilots will fly with me.”

She frowned and he glanced at her. She couldn’t stop the angry heat that rushed to her cheeks.

He searched her face. “We’ll talk about this later. You’re due a day off, so don’t fight it.”

She could spare herself a tiff in front of the whole office. But if she didn’t say something now, he might think he could rearrange her life as it suited him, like he had a couple of days ago. “There are hardly enough pilots to fly the high season schedule. There’s no room for shuffling things around as it pleases you.”

He sighed. “You don’t need to do the overnight flights, Simone. That’s all I meant.” He shifted on his feet and raised his hand to touch her, but dropped it again.

Inside her the sudden anger cooled. She’d been overreacting because the day ahead was stressing her out. She didn’t need to be up in arms with him when they arrived at her apartment where Sarah waited, totally oblivious.

She dropped the discussion. “I need to get a few things from my locker.”

Carlo glanced toward the fleet manager’s office. “I’ll wait for you here.”

Simone strode off, trying not to fume. She buzzed out of the admin office and continued down the corridor to the pilot’s lounge.

Michael sat in the lounge, his phone in his hands, thumbs furiously tapping on the screen, his one knee jerking. He looked up as she walked in and froze.

“Simone.” His gaze dropped back to his phone.

“Hi.” She didn’t have time to chat and was glad to see he was engrossed in some game. But then she recalled their conversation the previous day.

He avoided her gaze as she walked to her locker. The staff room was empty, almost dead if it weren’t for the creaking of the old sofa as Michael shifted.

“Did you…?” she asked.

He inhaled. “Did I?”

“Find anything?” She eyed him, but caught him staring at her with a strange light in his eyes. He had her attention now.

“What?”

How couldn’t he know what she was talking about? “In the hold? After the flight back from Rufiji?” She swallowed. “Did you find anything…suspicious?”

He glanced around the room, making sure they were alone.

“Yes?” She was in a hurry.

He got up and strode to the door, checking up and down the darkened corridor, then leaned closer. “What exactly are you looking for?”

Her pulse quickened. “What did you find?”

“Nothing.”

He’d said that too quickly and dread weakened her muscles. He’s lying. How much had she messed-up in trusting him? She went with her instinct. “Bullshit.”

“Bullshit?” he whispered. “You want to know about bullshit?” He took a turn in the room, caged. “One bloody elephant tusk,” he hissed as he held up one finger, then put it to his mouth to indicate silence.

Goosebumps spread over her arms, the sweat in her pores cooling. Fuck.

She had to force down the rise of bile, which rose with a slow turn of her stomach.

“My question is, Simone, what exactly do you know?”

She should never have ventured down this lane. “Was it—”

“Packed in a special food crate, strapped against the wall of the hold?” he asked in a sarcastic whisper. “Yes! I nearly missed it, to be honest. Well disguised. You’ve been busy.”

“I haven’t been flying poached tusks around,” she hissed, their eyes clashing in equal wrath.

“Neither have I,” he said, with some menace, but after seconds he broke their locked gazes.

She wanted to go back to some neutral ground with him, to go back to the Michael she knew and trusted. “Maybe we both had.” But that look she’d seen in his eyes…she stepped away from him, no longer sure what to believe. That Michael could be the culprit was an uncomfortable reality. “Only one tusk?” she whispered, her head spinning.

He nodded.

“Where’s the other one?”

He almost growled, but turned away from her, glancing at the door. “Why the hell do you think I should know?”

She went to her locker, the sound of the screeching metal eerie with their hushed, deep breathing. Only one tusk…it made sense to fly the tusks one at a time. One tusk’s weight wouldn’t throw the weight and balance calculations, given the fuel left for the last stretch between Rufiji and Dar es Salaam. Damn. Whoever had set this up knew his shit.

“Who else knows?” she asked, unable to take stock of the things in her locker.

“Fishing, are you?” he murmured angrily.

“No!” Freaking hell, he’d think she orchestrated the whole syndicate.

“Annie.”

“How?” She could not keep the shock from her voice as she glared at him. “You told Annie? Why?”

“Fuck, Simone.” He rubbed his face with both hands and when he looked at her she could almost not meet his gaze. “She dragged it out of me this morning, when I spoke to her over the phone after my…discovery. How dare—”

“But Annie works for the African Elephant Specialist Group,” Simone hissed, referring to the American-sponsored NGO that had local government connections that fought the illegal ivory trade. Tremors ran through her at the impact Annie could have if she chose to open her mouth. Annie might be her friend, might have been by the sounds of it…but to Annie, Carlevaro East Africa meant nothing.

And Michael? God, she’d put her foot right in it. Still, this was no proof. Nothing was proof.

Male voices followed by laughter filled the corridor, and Michael’s gaze darted between her and the door.

“You’re on your fucking own, Simone. I’d watch my back if I were you.” He stomped out, going in the opposite direction of the voices.

Staring at the contents of her locker, everything blurred. Were his last words a warning or a threat?

The other pilots ambled in and she greeted them shortly, then scrambled for her stuff and made a quick exit. But Michael’s last words were not going anywhere as they swam in the fog in her mind.

She walked down the corridor and she took a deep breath, forcing herself to calm down and focus. Yes, she was essentially alone, but Michael didn’t reveal that he knew about the investigation…and Carlo was with her now, and later…she couldn’t let her thoughts wander down that lane quite yet.

Annie was a problem. Hopefully, Annie wouldn’t be so indiscreet as to let anything slip at work. Not while Carlo and Noel’s team was still busy with their investigations. Something must come up and soon. Should she tell Carlo about Michael?

She slowed down her strides and stopped outside the admin office. What to do? There were too many balls in the air, and right now they all seemed turned to stone, ready to hail down on her head.

She had no idea what to make of her conversation with Michael, but she had to make a decision, now.

Sarah.

This day was not about a crisis that had gone on in the company for months. It was about the crisis of her life for the past four years. It was about Sarah, and Sarah had always been more important than anything else.

She wouldn’t do anything.