Chasing Princess Charming

Chapter 39

“You mean the girly side of me?” I asked in an annoyed tone.

“The equally stylish side of you, with a little bit of finesse. I’m not going to ask you to wear skirts but let’s just say that maybe you should try to make Nicholas think twice next time he calls you ‘brother,’ ‘boy,’ or ‘boyish.’”

“Really? This is about Nicholas again?” I was starting to get mad.

“Come on, Ken Clarke!” Terry was getting a little frustrated now. “I didn’t say chase him or seduce him. I just said, make him look at you twice. You like him. You deny that. But one day, you’ll admit it to yourself. And trust me, when you do, you will want him to see you as you are. Not as a little brother or as an androgynous roommate, but as the beautiful girl that you are.”

I stared at Terry for a long time, unable to believe what she had just said and unwilling to admit that she might be right.

Am I ready to admit it to myself? Do I want Nick to see me as a girl? Do I want him to be interested in me?

I took a deep breath. Nick would never be interested in me because he only goes for hot girls. But then again, I remembered how pissed I was when he repeatedly told me that I was not a girl and that he saw me like a little brother. He held me at night more than once, and he was completely unaffected by me. How un-girly and unsexy am I, really?

Maybe I would take Terry’s advice just to spite Nicholas. Maybe I would get a little satisfaction from catching him off-guard for a change. I refused to recognize my girly side, but I also couldn’t forget how offended I had been when Nicholas ignored everything I thought was attractive about me.

I took a deep breath and found a new vigor rise within me. No, I was not doing this because I was attracted to Nicholas. I would be doing this because I wanted him to eat his words, make him feel sorry for making me feel so unpretty!

I stared at Terry thoughtfully. Then I said, “I just want to make a few things clear.”

She shrugged.

“I will pay you for all these,” I said. “Someday, when I get enough cash.”

She shook her head. “It’s not my money!”

“It’s not mine either, so it’s also not right for me to benefit from it.”

She rolled her eyes. “I didn’t know Ken Clarke is so righteous!”

“Now, you do. So, I will find a way to pay you for these. I don’t care what you do with the money. I’ll give it back to you. But I don’t want to owe anybody for the clothes on my back,” I said.

“Okay. What else?”

“No skirts, no laces, no gowns, no skimpy stuff,” I said. She actually widened her eyes and she was about to open her mouth in protest. I held my hand in front of me to stop her. “I will agree to this because, to be honest, I don’t know what it is like to dress or act other than the way I do now.” Terry closed her mouth and stared at me quietly. “My stepmother was a lesbian. And she was my hero, my idol. I’ve always wanted to be like her and she dressed like I do now. My mother dressed like a woman sometimes. I’ve always been given a choice. I just chose to be like my stepmom. I didn’t even try dressing up or acting otherwise.”

Terry nodded. “I understand.”

“And I don’t want people to stare at me as if I’ve grown an extra head. I don’t want the next trending topic on social media to be hashtag KenTurnsBarbie. Understand?”

Terry laughed. “KenTurnsBarbie! Now, I’m tempted!”

I raised a brow at her. “Do you understand?”

“Okay, okay. Baby steps. Nothing outrageously obvious. But something that will definitely make Nick Atkins look twice. Now, there’s a challenge.”

“One more thing,” I said. “You have to know I’m not doing this for Nick. I’m doing this for myself. I realized that I shouldn’t be afraid to venture into the unknown. Otherwise, I will never know what I really want, what will truly make me happy. Someone once told me that I act according to the wants and needs of the people around me and that it is easier for me to conform to the demands of the people I love than think about what I want. He may be right. It had become a habit. And it’s time to break away from it now.”

I felt heat from the back of my eyes and I knew tears were threatening to overflow from them. I missed Isabella and I will forever love her. I wanted to be like her because of my love for her and the way she made me and my mother happy. But I am my own person and it’s time for me to find out what will make me happy. I was too busy hating men and thinking they would all be like my father that I hadn’t realized that maybe I was wrong. Maybe someday, some worthy guy will come along.

Terry stared at me for a long moment and then she nodded. “Okay. I respect that. And I think you are right. And don’t worry, I will not judge you. And this stays between us.”

I smiled at her, hoping she would know how thankful I was that I didn’t have to do this alone.

She took the clothes from my arms and went around the racks again. Then she came back with new sets of mini t-shirts, sleeveless tops, fitted shirts, shorts and casual jeans. All plain and neutral colors. Nothing floral or hot pink. That way, the style is feminine but not overly girly, which was exactly what I wanted. If I like this style, then I’ll get comfortable with it and slowly experiment.

I lost count of how many outfits I tried on. Terry was very patient and she’s a fashion guru—even in my case. At first, I felt shy. I was not used to dressing up and showcasing clothes to another human being. But toward the end, I admit, it wasn’t that bad. Terry genuinely wanted to help me more than she wanted to spend her stepdad’s money.

We got pairs of casual sneakers and running shoes. In my head, I was calculating the prices so I knew exactly how much I’ll be paying Terry back. The amount was still reasonable. We got some pretty good deals. In the mall, I’d probably be paying triple.

We stopped by a sporting shop. Terry said she wanted to get a couple of swimsuits for herself. I checked out some of the drawstring swim shorts and rash guard tops. I should have swimwear. Nick’s pool was too tempting sometimes.

I pulled out a pair and immediately, I felt Terry’s hand over mine, pushing it back to the rack.

“Oh no. You’re not going for that. Let’s try these on.” She raised a two-piece suit in front of me.

“What the fuck is that?”

“Your new swimsuit!”

“No way I’d wear that!” I protested.

“Swimming is the only excuse you may have to wear girl clothes because men actually wear less. Unless you wanna go topless.”

“But I can always go for wetsuits that cover me from ankle to neck.”

“Sure, but you said you wanted to try a different you and see if you’ll like it, remember? So why not try a swimsuit? Anyway, this one is not too revealing but very sophisticated.”

She pulled me to the fitting rooms and pushed me into one of the stalls and placed two sets of swimsuit over the hanger.

“I’ll be outside,” she sang, much to my frustration. Why did Brett suddenly do this girlfriend thing?

I stripped down to my underwear and put on the first suit. It was a two-piece bikini in black and white. The top was a combination of halter and over-the-shoulder straps. The bottom has crisscross straps on the side with a block color combination.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror. My mouth involuntary turned to the shape of O. The suit was not skimpy at all. Instead, it looked classy, but it highlighted my tiny waist, my flat tummy and long legs. It showed an ample amount of cleavage on my chest.

“What’s taking you so long?” Terry asked behind the door. When I didn’t answer, I heard an impatient knock.

I slowly opened the door.

“What’s so hard about—holy cow!” Needless to say, Terry was stunned when she saw me. “Ken Clarke! Hiding that body under boy clothes is unforgivable!”

“Isn’t it too revealing?”

“No! A body like this should be revealed! You are absolutely perfect!”

I raised a brow at her. “You’re into boys, aren’t you?”

“Right now, I’m not sure,” she teased. I almost slammed the door on her. “Try the other one as well!” she called from the other side.

The next suit she gave me was what they called a tankini. It was a combination of a tank top and bikini with side-tie bikini bottoms. You can wear it with active bottoms and go for a run. I liked this one very much.

When I came out of the fitting room wearing my usual clothes, Terry had a big smile on her face. She took both the swimsuits from my arms. “We will take both,” she said firmly.

“I don’t think I will wear them though.”

“You will. Even if you do not wear them in public, I hope your housemate has a pool. Then they would still serve their purpose.”

“I told you I wasn’t trying to seduce him.”

“No. But don’t you want to make him feel sorry he ever referred to you as a boy?”