Chasing Princess Charming

Chapter 33

I tried my best to stay out of Nick’s hair. I locked myself up in the room so I would not have to see him or talk to him. I didn’t want to keep on frowning at him or make it so obvious that I was ignoring him. He didn’t deserve that. It was not his fault that I’d never been attracted to a guy before.

I was raised unconventionally. Growing up with two lesbian parents, I never knew what it was like to explore being a girl. I loved my parents so much, and I have always idolized them. Their relationship was something I found to be ideal, thus, I never thought about exploring what it was like to date a guy. It never even crossed my mind.

My father was the reason why I had major trust issues with a guy. Brett had always treated me like a boy. So did his friends. I have always believed that I would never put my trust in a guy. I would never fall in love with one. The only guy who challenged these beliefs was Nicholas. And he was not even aware he was doing it.

He didn’t say anything. In fact, he always told me that he respected me regardless of who I am and what I am. But when he was near me, the way he saved me, the way he took care of me and held me, he made me feel that I could trust him. That I could still be myself. I didn’t have to change myself, and he’d accept me just the same.

Boy! I did not see that coming at all.

Nick was busy with a project. He was always confined in his office for the past few days. We barely saw each other two days in a row, and I was glad I didn’t have to be near him. However, at night, it was a different matter.

The nightmares were not as bad as they used to be. But I knew that I still screamed in my sleep and that Nick came into the room and held me until I fell asleep peacefully. But he was always gone before I woke up as if he was never there at all. And I was scared and embarrassed to ask him if he spent the nights lying beside me, waiting for the nightmares to subside.

On Friday, Brett picked me up to take me to Rythemes. Nick was not home. But before he left, I heard a faint knock on the door, and he said he was going to the city. I didn’t answer. When he opened the door, I pretended to be asleep. For the past few days, it was like we were playing hide and seek. I was trying my damn best to avoid him. If he noticed, he was doing a good job of ignoring it.

The band’s bassist was sick, and Brett had to stand in for him. So, I had to stand in for Brett on the drums. The band was happy to see me again, and the minute I held the drumsticks, I was happy to be back, too.

We practiced the songs, and suddenly, I felt free. This was what playing drums did to me. I didn’t have to be a girl or a boy when I had the drum kit in front of me. Anybody could do this—and do this well—regardless of their gender or identity.

When we went on stage, a couple of patrons who recognized me started shouting and cheering. Bailey even had to announce that I would be their drummer tonight, and the crowd got even more excited. I gave them a salute before gearing up the band for the first set.

During the break, I saw the familiar faces of Elle and Trixie in the audience. Their friend Saucy was nowhere in sight.

“It’s been a while!” Elle greeted me warmly and gave me a hug. The hug lasted a few seconds more than it should, and I could not wait to push Elle’s arms away from me. I somehow felt uncomfortable with her.

I pulled away from her as slowly and as politely as I could manage. “What’s up?” I asked her and Trixie.

“We were always here, but you were gone.”

“Well, yeah, my cousin’s the real drummer of the band. I was just filling in.”

“Where’s Nick?” Trixie asked. The interest I heard in her voice made me want to pull a few of her beautiful teeth out.

“I have no idea,” I said, trying to sound nonchalant.

Trixie and Elle looked at each other meaningfully. I had no idea what was going on in their minds, and I was not sure I wanted to find out.

Elle suddenly pulled me to her and whispered in my ear, “Here’s my number. Call me.” I felt her reach for my pocket to insert some sort of card into it.

That felt really, really awkward. I immediately pulled away from her. “Okay,” I said. “I’ll see you around.”

I turned around hastily. The faster I get away from them, the better.

I dashed toward the backstage without looking at where I was going. I crashed into somebody who was just coming out of our dressing room. I felt arms encircle me into an iron grip. Those arms felt familiar. I smelled the scent of aftershave that I’ve come to memorize in my dreams. The scent was faint, but to my senses, it was almost intoxicating.

Nicholas… I thought that for a couple of seconds, my heart forgot that it was a heart and it needed to beat for the rest of my body parts to keep functioning.

I didn’t look up. And he didn’t look down. But I knew it was him, and he knew it was me. I should have pulled away, but I couldn’t. He should have let me go, but somehow, he didn’t. I was savoring these few moments of heaven when Nick could just hold me like this because he wanted to because being in his arms felt as good for him as it felt for me. When he didn’t have to feel icky or disgusted because he saw me as a boy with a small, slender frame and somewhat feminine facial features… but a boy, nonetheless.

Shit! He didn’t see me as a girl—a gorgeous, or even a slightly cute girl, with short colored hair, a tiny, fragile frame, an interesting mind, and sharp wits, who could sing and play drums well and cook tiny pieces of heaven in the kitchen. To him, I was the little, troublesome brother he never had.

I took a deep breath and found the courage to pull away from him. He didn’t immediately let me go when he felt that I was pulling away. However, when I pushed harder, he finally released me and then he looked into my eyes.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

He stared at me for a long moment and then he took a deep breath. It sounded like a sigh of frustration to me.

“You weren’t answering my calls,” he replied.

“Well, I can’t really hear the phone ringing with all the noise here.”

He raised a brow at me and he actually looked stern. “I’ve been calling you since afternoon.”

“I’ve been playing drums since the afternoon and it’s not like I’m waiting for a call or anything. Lately, nobody’s been calling me.”

He closed his eyes for a moment and then he asked, “Did it ever occur to you that maybe I might be worried?”

“No. No one had been really worried about me for years,” I said evenly.

He shook his head slowly and when he looked at me, I could see frustration written all over his face. He didn’t say anything; he just stared at me as if he couldn’t believe there was a person like me in the world. Well, probably not. After all, how many people in the world were raised by lesbian parents, rejected by their fathers and then have their fathers hire a psychopath to fix their problems with them? In a population of a billion, I was probably the only one.

We were interrupted by Brett who called and told me it was time for us to go back on stage.

I stared back at Nick and said, “Now you know I’m safe. Brett will drop me off later.”

Then I turned around to walk toward the stage. I felt Nick pull my arm gently. I stared back at him and raised a brow. He took a deep breath and said, “I’ll wait for you.”

“No need,” I insisted.

He shook his head. “From now on, you better get used to the fact that there’s another person who’s worrying about you, willing to go to hell and back to protect you and take care of you.”

I was stunned by what he said, more so by the tone of his voice. He sounded so authoritative, firm, and sincere all at the same time, as though he wanted me to put it in my head and never forget it for a moment. He looked angry and frustrated. It was the first time I saw him like this—he meant business and he was no longer taking any bullshit from me.

I opened my mouth to say something nasty like I always do, to retaliate like I always have, but no words came out. Suddenly, I was tongue-tied, stunned, and all I could do was nod.

My face must have shown a look of fear because suddenly, Nick’s expression changed. He became gentle and worried. He took a step toward me.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “It’s just… I want you to stop running away from me or rejecting me. I’m here for you. Remember that, okay?”

The look he gave me was desperate and the tone of his voice was sincere. His face was only a couple of inches away from mine and in that brief moment that I was staring into his mesmerizing eyes, I wondered what it would be like to kiss him.